Why does my family still interact with me?

by stillstuckcruz 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  problemaddict

  Hey maybe your family loves you man. Not all JW's are monsters than shun and vilify their family. We just hear most of it because first it is very common, and second we are a board of abuse victims and opposers.

  Try to move past it, accept their kindness, and move forward.

  P.S. - Wasn't there a recent article on homosexuality and the way JW's view it, that was fairly soft? It was viewed as any other sin that people struggle with, and we show love to the person "fighting" it etc... I suppose that could have a bearing on it.
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  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Maybe you are one, who's family truly love you unconditionally. It is not unheard of. lol Maybe your parents never drank every drop of the weekly Kool-aid. You never know. If it really bothers you, ask.

  Just Lois
• 

  andys

  My question for you, does your parents or anyone in your family allow you to go to their house? The issues I am having, whenever I see any family member in public they will openly talk to me as in a normal conversation but as far as going to my parents house that is off limits, if I tried calling my parents on the phone, espeically if my dad answers that is off limits to so to a certain extent I am being shunned by family, also my sister is married to an elder so that might be something to do with it and also maybe to a certain level family is accepting me for who I am, and also as far as shunning I think there is different levels of shunning that goes on.
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  cantleave

  If they are still interacting there is hope they can be extracted!
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  blondie

  Things can change. I have seen people manage contact with their jw family as long as things are in house/family. But if a new DO or CO or jw outside the circle find out, pressure can be brought to bear, threatening loss of privileges (elder, MS, pioneers, etc) or even threatening being marked as bad association. But then I know an elder who calls his df'd son every day at the son's work and another who car pools with his df'd son. All behind the scenes.
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  mind blown

  Don't get too comfortable. Usually depends on the elders.

  CA is NOT liberal. I was inactive and got DF'd for smoking and not repenting.

  I started smoking off and on...someone saw me, reported me, elders called me to come in, I "admitted" (like a dumb ass) I was smoking but not at the moment, they asked if I was going to stop smoking, I said I didn't know, they asked if I was repentful for smoking, I told them not by force, they DF'd me.......bottom line. I'm in Los Angeles, CA.
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  krejames

  Just because someone is inactive does not mean they will be shunned tho they will likely not get invited socially so much. Just a further to reply to Roberta - I'm inactive and gay (still fading tho - I go to the occasional meeting). The elders, my family and some in my cong know - I have had five judicial committees but never D/fd. Everyone still interacts with me. Some more than others obviously there will always be a few hardcore in every cong. As has been said not all JWs are monsters. Any angst I feel is towards the GB not the rank and file. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the elders in my cong either. not wishing to hijack the thread - just to point out that the OP is very believable as far as I'm concerned. Many JWs are not as hardcore or judgemental as they used to be in the old days. Having said that - if they knew I had a boyfriend it would be different story...lol
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  Pickler

  I think there really is a double standard amongst JW, kind of like the military & "don't ask, don't tell"

  I was DFd for immorality, yet I have family members who slowly faded & then had children out of wedlock :) pretty convincing evidence of immorality there. But no DF, because they are off the radar, so to speak.

  Enjoy, if that's what you've got, but, remember this situation only exists because no one has confronted it.

  good luck to you!