Memorial Hell

thecrushed

Today has been one of the most aganizing days since I woke up. My family has been pressuring me to show up at the memorial for the past week. It became very intense today with my dad texting me constantly to get me to confirm and when I didn't answer he would call my wife and then she would constantly nag me to answer my dad and so on and so forth. My stomach has been in knots all day.

My father finally leaves this passive aggressive message on my phone about how if I don't attend then I'm publically showing my disrespect for what Christ did and for Jehovah. Can I be DF'd for not showing??? He has been strategically involving me in his business activities in the fained interest of helping me get my own thing started. His real goal was a carrot to dangle in front of me and take away if I don't attend. Well good job dad you did nothing be piss me off! I knew his game from the start but I craved some time to spend with my dad lately so I abliged him. He also said that if I didn't attend the memorial I was hurting my family especially my wife. He even took something I said weeks ago about being a man of my word out of context and used it to apply to my baptism vows to further guilt me with.

When my wife arrives home she starts in on me about how wrong I am and that I better straighten up and stop putting her through this abuse. WTF!!! I guess my feelings don't mean jack squat! I told her she was dead wrong and that there is no way in hell I'm going to live a lie so anyone can save face. She then said I was possessed by Satan. She said if only I would come back everyone would be overjoyed to see me with much hugs and tears. I said, I know but it wouldn't be real at all. It is love based on conditions. I then looked her in the face and told her that I have unconditional love for her and that would never change. She became silent after that and then reminded me that I had promised her never to leave the truth. Unfortunately I did say that but that was before I broke through the mind ctrl and gained freedom of thought. She will never understand that till it happens to her if it happens to her before our marriage completely explodes. The most unfortunate thing of all is that our anniversary is right after the memorial within a few weeks.

I watch her get into this sisters car that she arranged to pick her up and drive away with my one true love. I feel sick. I feel like their is nothing I can do to stop this disgusting and cruel witchtower cult from destroying my marriage and my entire life. My whole family is against me, my wife is my enemy and all I can do is watch it all slowly fall apart.

I stood my ground and didn't go to the memorial and believe it our not my phone is still blowing up from all the different people calling to make sure I'm going. At this point my fade is completely blown thanks to the memorial season push.

I HATE THIS CULT I HATE THIS CULT I HATE THIS CULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Theredeemer

I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing. You made a stand though and drew a line in the sand. Now you will know who will be there on your side no matter what. Life goes on with some people and without some. I hope your wife will see your unconditional love as a model for her love, if not, at least you showed her and everyone your convictions cannot be bought off by selfish threats of abandonment.

Ding

Hang in there, bro.

As you know, the whole WT system runs on guilt and fear.

I never understood why the Memorial is such a big deal to the WT since 99.9% of attendees don't get to partake of anything.

Jesus said to eat and drink in remembrance of him, yet the WT makes sure JWs do neither.

In the end, it's all about numbers, appearances, and pleasing men.

lriddle80

It is difficult. When my family told me I was worshipping the devil, it was hard at first, but it gets easier over time. It must be especially hard since it's your wife. Some other people on here have successfully woken up their spouses, so it's possible. Just keep loving her as you normally would. She'll be sad, but you, as a husband, have so much influence! Just let her go to the meeting without reproach, though, becuase then other people will claim convince her it's persecution or satan and it isn't. I would say, though, continue to read the bible and pray, take care of the poor and it's good you have support on here. Don't give up on God because of what JW say!!

thecrushed

Thank you Theredeemer for your kind words. I did draw the line the sand and it is throwing them all in a tizy. I can only hope that my dad's senseable non-believing wife will see the cultish behavior and go HOLD ON A DAMN MINUTE! My wife of course blames every little thing on me and can't see that it is this religion. She just sees herself as married to the devils friend now. I feel so deeply sorry for what she is going through but at the same time I can't give in and validate her abusive behavior. If I get through this alive it will be one hell of a miracle.

sd-7

Wow, dude! I got kind of a rough couple of weeks leading up to the Memorial myself, just of a different sort. Sorry to hear that. Nobody should be pressuring you to attend the Memorial. I mean, how absurd is that? They're insisting you attend a meal where you're not even allowed to eat! Who wants to go to that kind of meal?

They claim you're rejecting Christ, but you're just rejecting their version of Christ, which is a very limited one, one incapable of fully forgiving your sins here and now, one who apparently has to be offered gradually over the course of a thousand years so that everyone can be forgiven. As opposed to the real one who was offered once for all time for everyone's sins. So...no need to feel guilty.

Don't let them use any kind of incentives to manipulate you. The last thing you want is to give them any kind of leverage beyond their usual spiritual/emotional blackmail.

As for this one:

I watch her get into this sisters car that she arranged to pick her up and drive away with my one true love.

Music please:

I see you driving to the Memorial

With the girl that I love,

And I'm like, forget you!

I say the change in your doctrines

Wasn't enough,

So forget you,

And forget her, too!

If it's your spiritual wishes

To pass along dishes

Well, ain't that somethin'?

Ain't that something?

And though they're J's Witnesses,

I wish them all the best,

With a forget you! Hoo hoo hoo hoooo!

--sd-7

Inisc

I know the feeling all to well crushed.

Ive been getting the same phone calls, the same reminders, aka guilt trips.

Dad even popped into my wife's work last week just to pass on the message.

Stomachs been in knots all day too! Thought we were in the clear since hadn't heard from anyone today.

Then the home phone and mobile went at 11:30 at night wtf!

never answered tho

VOLO2

You know if you don't really believe all their propoganda and it's all just meaningless posturing anyway, why not just bite the bullet and go? I remember a friend (an atheist) who always used to talk about either going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve or Sunrise Services on Easter (I forget which one) and she thought it was wonderful. She didn't believe any of it but her dressing up and going made her husband happy and she enjoyed the majestic music and the ceremony was nice (sort of like going to the opera, but free) and if God doesn't even exist, he's not going to punish you for hypocrisy. Long story short don't work yourself up over nothing.

Yes some people are sadly deluded and hopefully they'll wake up someday but there's nothing you can do to speed that up, so don't worry about that part. As long as YOU know it's all just a game, why get worked up over it? Just do whatever makes it easy for the people you care about to treat you the way you want to be treated. Meaning if you're in a Catholic church, cross yourself and partake. In a Kingdom Hall, DON'T cross and DON'T parttake. Easy. Like St Paul says, "Be all things to all people."

Doing that probably won't get you into heaven, but then it won't send you to the other place either.

Brother of the Hawk

Sorry to hear about your day from hell.

We do understand how difficult it is. We recently just had our entire family decide that we don't want to be JW's anymore and has spread it around the country that we've gone apostate. Everyone never even asked us if it was true or not but they just shunned us and scattered like cockroaches.

We're glad you're here with us though. We hope everything goes ok with your marriage.

affectionately Brother of the Hawk

Slavenomore

Definitely second that sd-7!

I feel for you, crushed. not much I can say other than, dont feel guilty, be as loving as you can and avoid losing your temper, if u feel the top is going to come off remove yourself. She will come around!

Slavenomore

Memorial Hell

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