Is he waking up?

by NeverKnew 23 Replies latest members private

• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  have you ever heard the phrase, "Don't raise your voice, improve your argument?"

  No, but I usually have my arguments in really good order. Elders usually need to hear, "If you don't know the answer, just say so. Changing the subject or resorting to threats is not a suitable response to a question."

  Would fading even be possible with relatives who are elders?

  It's worked for me... so far. It can get complicated and requires a lot of planning... and living about 100 miles away from the elders in the family.
• 

  Captain Obvious

  Would fading even be possible with relatives who are elders?

  Possibly.. How close is he to his uber Dub family?

  With you, he has the perfect out. Once he is ready, you two can start openly dating, while he fades. He will be promptly marked, which will quickly scare off his JW friends but still allow family contact if they wish. You two marry, and move away if possible to a different circuit. He fades completely, while his friends and family blame you for the whole thing. Most importantly, he doesn't get the big APOSTATE stamp on his forehead.

  You see, JWs can't understand someone legitimately leaving by choice. They will rationalize the hell out of the situation until it calms their cognitive dissonance. With you in the picture as the evil worldly girl who led him astray he can avoid being suspected of apostasy!

  please... Tell him to STOP asking the elders questions! That is the last thing he should be doing.
• 

  shopaholic

  What Ding said! Don't take him to church or anything religious. Don't push holidays or any celebrations that JWs typically avoid. Provide support but let him exit on his own terms. Otherwise, it will be too much and he will go running back into the organization.

  At some point, probably a few months of not attending the KH, he will feel the need for spiritual uplifting. This is when you take him to church but one that's not heavily steeped in doctrine. Don't ask him to pick it. Search together and find one that you can try. But do it on a Sunday morning and attend the same day so he's not mulling over it.

  Hope it all works out!
• 

  trailerfitter

  Have a pop at the Watchtower or directly refute the bible and see the reaction. My wife, we are now seperated and living apart has calmed down after joining 3 years ago reacts very protectively when the WT is slammed. It is a simular reaction from other JWs who have tried to convince me their way is right. I wait a while until in mid converstion then crack in something about the WT organisation then step back wait and see what the reaction is....always emotional and protective!! It is a good depth gauge but also breeds resentment.

  I don't hear the rubbish the wife used to spout off about but a comment about the organisation or the bible itself and the emotional reaction is one that would be a kin to protecting a loved one. Just mension the filippin' bible and she is off like a rocket. Not easy to convince otherwise someone who has been captured by the WT mentality. Good luck, be cautious but don't expect miracles.