New here.

joe134cd

Hi everyone.I have been reading the blogs here for some time and have just decided to have an in put. I am still a current member of the WTS and am sort of planning to fade. I realise 2 things (1)I have to build bridges in order to replace the ones that will crumble behind.(2)I have to fade under favourable conditions other wise I can see me getting DFed in the distant future. Although I have been going to the meetings for some decades the thing that hurts me is that I had to come to an apostate site to find out many of the things I have wondered about.Some of the questions I have had answered are. The divorce rate amongst witnesses. Why was it so expensive to use the assembly hall. How many are leaving, and the list goes on.One particular thing that bothered me was that I have been on a number of society arranged tours but could never understand how come they were so expensive. I used to put it down to the travel agency they were using.Now I realise it is because they were getting backhands. The disaster relief fund isn't a fund at all especially when they are opting to do houses that are insured. It is just a scam and I wonder how they can legally get away with it been listed as a charity. This has just made me loose all respect for the organisation. In true Watchtower fashion they just choose to say nothing. I believed it was backed by God and i done my best to support God organisation, and now I am left wondering. How could I be such a fool. The other thing that distresses me is that my fellow brothers and sisters wouldn't have a clue of what is going on and if I openly tried to tell them the consequences would be more than I would be willing to bear.

besty

welcome to the rest of your life :-)

GoneAwol

Welcome Joe! This is a big journey you`ve started on, so plan well and stick to the plan. You get over the feeling foolish bit, then will come the anger, then that hoplessly lost feeling with the "what do i do now question". Keep studying and ask lots of questions. Dont take someones word for it, always back it up for yourself.

Take your time my friend, its gets better!

2+2=5

Welcome Joe and thanks for sharing. Many on this site are trying to fade and wake up some loved ones on the way out, so we can understand your frustration.

rebel8

best wishes in your journey

It will be better in the long run! Much better, happier, healthier, and more opportunities to be a good person.

Black Sheep

Welcome to the forum Joe.

Don't feel guilt for any pain your fellow church members feel. Place the blame where it belongs .... on the church hierarchy.

irondork

You are not a fool.

Organizations like the WTS prey on people who have a strong desire to do right by God. Their air of purity and righteousness is exactly the sort of thing a person would look for in his pursuit of God. Unfortunately, in our haste, we fall victim to the birdcatcher's ingenious use of whitewashed graves as bait. When a person wakes up after a lifetime of what he thought was proper worship to God, the effect is often a complete collapse of that person's energy, desire and devotion and in many cases the person ends up throwing God out with the bathwater. The Watchtower Society and other cults/religions/etc... it is a brilliant method of destroying a person's faith and his relationship with God.

Victim ≠ Fool

Welcome to the forum Joe. Hope you stick around.