Hi, my time is drawing ever closer as I can no longer speak lies about the Organization and all the past revisions and my sins I committed against everyone I judged while serving on Judicial Committees. I lay awake at night with guilt because I ask Jehovah and his Son Jesus Christ to forgive me for being so judgemental, self assured and arrogant at certain times in my life. I was not a prince of peace, at times I was a coward when I was first appointed because I wanted to keep all things peaceful with my peers, not with my Heavenly Father and Saviour Jesus Christ. Now it's my turn to be on the other side of the "witch hunt" going on to nail me by my brother and his friends. From the start I knew they were looking for something, a fishing trip and they did not even try to have empathy!
I will share part of the encouragement I receieved by hypocrites who only follow the Society's rules and recommendations when it suits their agenda, not because they really love Jehovah or Christ Jesus, all about keeping up appearances.
Elder Joe said "We miss you and I am concerned you are going to die when the Big A comes around, what do you have to say for yourself?"
Me. "I have been reading my Bible (something they both don't do because I know, they can't keep up with a new tract less a magazine or new spiritual food from the Assembly." and studying as much as I can. I read every magazine the Tower prints (not out of faithfulness but to convict my heart and mind for allowing myself to be tricked for over fifty years!) and preach about Jesus more authenticity than the years of blind rote and begrudingness most of our friends do.
Elder Dave: "You can't be part of Jehovah's Organization without following the Faithful Slave, those who refuse to submitt to them are going to be destroyed at Armegeddon! Are you willing to gamble with your "everlasting life"and prevent your family from entering God's Kingdom?"
Me: "Can you please show me from the Bible what you are talking about? Over the last fifteen years I have seen people betray the commandment Jesus Christ said would be the key identifier of his people. Jesus said many would claim to be his "people but their works would disprove they were true christians, what did Jesus say, what did Paul and James, Peter and Judge and John speak of the most?"
Both Elders started to become concerned when I used those words again "Jesus Christ and Love", I was asked if I wanted to meet with the brothers at the Kingdom Half or more encourage as these two brothers did not have time to review any of my personal problems I am going through. One of the brothers had said his position "was proof enough the holy spirit was blessing him and his family" this brother is the one I told you all about who is a thief and slanders almost every elder who has the courage to stand up to his fallacious reasoning. His position is proof "Jehovah God is using him, blessing his family and making life better for all who listen to his efforts." When I was a elder I had access to imformation that allowed me to reasearch this holy brother, both his kids were nailed for fornication and "loose conduct" and no kingdom hall annoucement was ever made to warn the Kingdom Hall his kids love Satanic music concerts and practiced magic, this factoid was covered up by their father who is the "blessed one"!
My heart is starting to disattach itself from all the fake friends and family who stold from me and I am no longer able to remain silent on issues I know Brother Russell would have screamed at. When I look back on Russell, I don't see a evil man but a decent person who tried to get people to clean up their lives or read the Bible and better themselves. Now with all the compressed and pent up fear, confusions and ignorance of the Holy Bible within the Organization,I am hurting inside when I talk with JWs who tell me I am going to die at the End, and they are the ones who don't obey the Slave anymore than I do(I think I do more than they do, but I do not tell people they and their kids are going to die!)
What should I do, I am in Limbo and my emotional state can't take the lies or the fraud I see my former friends display. What response would you use about "You don't want to die" "What true Organization will you go to?" "Your kids will die and it will be your fault!"
I am so fricken made and my blood is boiling after this loving encouragement from these "seasoned loving elders"! I am so sorry to bother you my friends but I am so mad, if I go out I am going to need someone's help to help me record my "apostate trial", I am going to mention all the pedophiles and sex offenders I knew who kept their positions, the cover ups of sons and daughters homosexual acts while we disfellowshiped kids for smoking a cigar or bong hit. I am so pissed off and full of rage, please advise me!