by His Excellency 27 Replies latest social relationships
Attraction isn't the glue that holds couples together, and there have even been scientific polls and studies taken on this. That initial attraction *typically* doesn't last more than a few months. Though Attraction keeps you interested long enough to get to know someone and build a relationship with him/her.
But my question is this, How long does the attraction lasts in new couples, before they get bored with each-other?.
Honest?
I know a couple who remained in the initial stages of attraction for years, surviving the birth of their children. Their trick was to continue to feed it. I'm not talkng about the "show" either, the dressing up and primping. They simply continued to openly admire the other.
jgnat - spot on. Such a simple but truly profound thing.
49 years and still putting up with one another......lol!
We seldom ever go to sleep with an unresolved argument hanging over us.
We can still make one another laugh out loud.
We share our business interests, most of our friends and of course our immediate family members.
We treat one another's inlaws with respect and lend a helping hand or some money when needed.
We each volunteer in our community............. that gives us a lot of gossip to share.
Every morning we have breakfast in bed. Black coffee, fruit, yogart.....and every morning an interesting conversation breaks out, politics, religion, an interesting artical, some stories from this web site (I am on here almost every day my wife has never felt the need to relive her JW year............, long ago we pioneered together).
When we married she was barely 17 and I was almost 19. Some one asked my wife 'what did you do when you got married so young?' She replied 'we continued to raise one another'.
There's lots more but enough for now.
I'm waiting for a dishonest response.
Giordano.That was so encouraging to read...Glad your still loving each other.
May it continue in your old age. That was uplifting...
I find in todays youngsters ,they enjoy the sex for awhile make babies then quit
leaving so many split familys....But I truly believe it is because the old devil intervenes
with roaming eyes on others mates. Marriage today is a laugh "till death do us part"
should be replaced with" till we get fed up with each other... "
Mouthy as usual
Personally, I met my wife when I was 18. We hit it off and I was attracted to her, but she was dating someone else at the time. We did form a strong friendship and I think that is one basis for a healthy marriage.
By being friends first, we got to see each other as we really are. Not pretending to appear more desirable as dating often does. We didn't get married until much later but have been happily married for 14 years. After the burning fire of initial physical attraction wanes, having a solid friendship beneath it will go far.
My only other suggestions would be communication and compromise. Talk about everything and where conflict arises, pick a solution that is beneficial for both of you.
ssh
There is nothing like the first months of a romantic relationship, but it doesn't mean you can't continue to be attracted. I have been married 13 years, it is a second marriage nor both of us, and we were both determined to get it right this time. My husband and I still have date night. Date night could be going out to dinner, or just staying home and watching a movie, but the idea is that it is couple time, no surfing the internet, having other friends over, no texting or calling others. We still hold hands and cuddle, my husband sometimes brings me flowers, sometimes I make him special desserts. You have to be willing to resolve issues that come up so they don't fester and cause resentment, this is sometimes hard to do. Sometimes, when you have talked about these issues with no resolution, you just have to let it go. Nobody is perfect and my husband has to accept my imperfections too. It's all about give and take and making the relationship a priority.
"We each volunteer in our community............. that gives us a lot of gossip to share."
Giordiano, that has got to be the secret to our relationship. I hadn't thought of it that way. Hubby is actively interested in their neighbours - asking where they went on holidays and truly interested in the answer, their opinion on sports, politics, and the next car they will buy. My daughter calls us nosy; I think I am simply interested.
I am more attracted to my wife after 12 years. She seems to get better looking. On the other hand she also gets more difficult to live with.
