When I was going in, I was hoping joke-hova would have given me reason to want to do more, instead of seeing how sterile and miserable it could make my life and still get me to do more. At some point, when there isn't enough support, my support of the whole thing collapsed.
Did You Ever See Yourself Getting Out Of The JW Religion?
by minimus 16 Replies latest jw friends
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return of parakeet
I went from being a (reluctant) dub to a nonbeliever in 5 seconds. All it took was the first look at my newborn son's face. From that moment, it took me three years to gather the information and fortitude to leave. That was 34 years ago.
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LouBelle
I honestly never thought I would leave. Even when I was about 17 and I had questions, I always just thought I'd stay and be faithful.
When I said to myself " there has to be more to this " (at 30) I still thought the JW's had the most truth, we had the big picture and I just had to fill in the missing pieces, so even then I didn't see myself actually getting out of the faith. I gobbled up every piece of info I could, I read so many books (at least one a day - I would read through the night, at work, ). It was a feeding frenzy of knowledge. 3 months in, I knew I couldn't stay. Another 3 months and I made my decision, knew the consequinces of that decision,I knew my family and my ton of friends would shun me, had the judicial hearing and got disfellowshipped. Walked out of the hall, out of the parking lot, burst into tears of pure joy as the burdon just lifted - I felt so free - so powerful. Got into the car and said to mom "it's done, I'll never go back".
Every time I drive past the hall, and I deliberately did that this pas Sunday, I can't help but smile, I can't help but feel lifted - it actually brings tears to my eyes. I am free of all that shit, I never have to ever pretend again. **just took a really big deep breath, so many memories flitted by**
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Ucantnome
No i didn't think i could ever leave. About two years early a sister asked me about something that was happening in the congregation and if it would make me leave the truth. I was so surprised. NO. How could I leave God's organization.
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Phizzy
Even though, looking back, I realise that the Cognitive Dissonance was forcing me out, I never actually thought about leaving.
I had created for myself a religion within a religion, I had a faith in a loving god, I believed that jehovah was God and as He had His name on the Borg he would one day sort out all the nonsense that I simply knew was total galloping bollocks.
That very uncomfortable position, of being in a religion that called itself the Truth, and yet I knew taught a lot of error, became too much to bear.
But I never envisaged myself "out", and even when I walked away from the K.H for the final time, I had no clear vision of what life would be, it was an Indiana Jones step into the void moment.
Just one regret, the usual, I wish I had done it decades earlier.
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Captain Obvious
Yes.. And no. It was hard to think about. I definitely had questions and doubts, and never bought into every goofball idea that came out of Brooklyn.
Once in a while the thought of my future as a dub would come to mind. I've never planned to be even an MS, and planned my life in a way that "spiritual things" would always take a backseat to everything else in my life. A lifetime to indoctrination made it very difficult to properly think things through. The thought stoppers always came in a big rush to cloud my thoughts. I never saw myself leaving, but never saw myself staying forever either... If that makes any sense.
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Tameria2001
Until I was 32, I thought I was going to stay in it. Then in only one month I had a very rude awaking, and saw them for what they really were. I stoped attending the meetings, and a month later I sent them a letter telling them that I no longer wanted to be a member of their religion. I was raised in that cult as a small child, and believed every thing I was told, until that day. But before anyone jumps on my case and tells me that I gave up too easy, I must say something first. I did see things over the years, but did not pay much attention to them. I did remember, but it just did not dawn on me, it was only when it involved my 5 year old son was when I decided to really do some research on them. As soon as I figured it all out, I was very pissed off. I was so angry that I threw away all my Watchtower publications, everything.
Let me just say, I shocked everyone, including the elders. When they came to my door to confirm that I was the one who actually sent the letter, they asked me why. I did not feel like getting into a huge discussion with them, but I pointed out the scripture in Deuteronomy and false prophets. I then asked them about all the dates that were set in the past, and the changes. All they told me, was that I had a good point, and this was something that they were going to discuss at their next meeting. The only thing that I hope came out of that, was it gave them something to think about.