Interesting conversation

by Freeof1914 22 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Freeof1914

  As some of you know several weeks ago I was disfellowshipped for several reasons, but primarily my thoughts on the organization. Last night I had a very interesting conversations with my wife after she came back from the meeting and several things jumped out at me that made see even more clearly how sick this religion is. First of all, several months ago we attended a wedding of a friend. I had already been inactive for a year, but still was invited and chose to attend. During the wedding one of my wife's best friends husband asked me to step outside wih him. I knew that he had been inactive for some time as well and thus fet ccomfortable doing so. We began to speak and he brought up several things that bothered him about the organization. As I listened I began to openly tell him my "apostate" leanings. Little did I know months later he would run to his wife and say I frightened him that night with my talk. Interestingly enough it had been him that approached me,but that is a whole other discussion. My wife's friend approached my wife and told her what her husband had told her.

  Needless to say last night she came home and went on and on about how disrespectful I was. She stated, " Who do you think you are, that you can try to ruin someone faith? You have no RIGHT talking to any brothers about how you feel. How can you try to ruin someone's faith? That is disrespectful!" I almost laughed out loud! I simply asked her, " Isn't that what you do every Saturday morning?" She was left speechless and then stated, You know what? You disfellowshipped people think that anyone still cares about you? You are old news the week after you are announced no one even cares or thinks about you it's like whatever! I simply stayed quiet and thought to myself... She is right and I don't ever want to be in any shape or form not even in the smallest way identified with those people. I thought of all these people that I have known for 20 + years and ALL of the things I hd done for them and the supposed friends, the " love" that ONLY exists in the organization. I laughed to myself and thought I am so happy I am free. The sick mentality that the organization breeds is truly disgusting and scary.i have sacrificed a lot by leaving, but I have conserved my own humanity and for that I am happy and grateful. Just some thoughts.
• 

  jookbeard

  well done , you acted with dignity against your wife's vile hateful words, I couldn't have kept quiet that easily, I had the same issues also in my JC with the accusation that I had weakened the faith of my fellow brethren, I had to almost beg for forgiveness in the JC appeal but in my heart I was giving the middle finger to the idiots judging me, the thing is these R&F have this macabre almost voyeuristic pleasure in confronting people like us in wanting to hear our honest feelings, they are strange people.
• 

  Gopher

  Yes, very interesting! We pay a price for integrity to ourselves and to the actual truth, not "truth" as dreamed up and enforced by a bunch of men.
  
  If the faith someone has is strong, a few little questions or an honest challenge shouldn't blow it over. These people have to keep telling themselves over and over this is true. Can you imagine a bunch of math majors convening every week or year to convince themselves that their mathematical theorems and postulations they learned in school is still true, and chanting or singing songs to remind themselves how true their truth is?
  
  I was most shocked by your wife's quote "do you disfellowshipped people think that anyone cares about you"? That's really something for somebody to tell their mate. Not to get too personal, but is she alienating you? That must be hard to deal with.
• 

  stillin

  Sounds like your wife and mine learned from the same master.
• 

  zeb

  and typical of women will goss on and then believe the most aggresive goss as fact and truth.

  Take a breath and step back. It is their loss not yours.

  Big hugs bro.
• 

  Comatose

  Jeez. At least you know how she really feels. Sad, but at least you can know and begin coming up with a plan in the event things go real bad.
• 

  ssn587

  sounds to me rather than that man being scared he probably mentioned it to his wife and then voiced that along with his doubts, his wife may be of the same mind as your wife, getting them to think is wrecking their faith, what a bunch of bull. It probably hits something in thier thinking process that they themselves thought was wrong and kind of let it go, but its still there lurking in their subconscious.

  Her diatribe against you speaks volumes in itself, for myself I couldn't have kept quiet, many times I would bring old zwt and finished mystery quotes into answers at the wt, my wife would get upset but couldn't say much except just dance the dance they are dancing. I couldn't and wouldn't do that. When I heard something wrong, would raise my hand and if they called on me would try and bring the truth into it. It made me wonder many times why they didn't want to have back room talks with me. Not much they can say when its society books you were quoting from and I always brought out which book, wt, etc i got the answer from. Got many looks from some of the people there. Also had a few come up and ask me where they can look that up for themselves. It always surprised me that many didn't know that those books, old wts etc were in the kingdumb hall library.

  I remember showing one brother where i got an answer from, he told his wife, and she told mine that she wished I wouldn't do that, my wife got upset at me, but i told her if asked a question I would answer it and when asked to show where I got it from I would do that too, and that I didn't give a flying truck about what any of her friends thought.
• 

  moshe

  If this contrary difference of opinion goes on and on and on, your wife will see that divorce is preferable to living with a vocal apostate- The WT has a made up an excuse for this unscriptual divorce, it's called absolute spiritual endangerment. I am a vocal person, so I understand. I wouldn't lay down and willingly let any KH steamroller quash my dignity. Good luck in seeing your wife get out soon.
• 

  Oubliette

  Freeof1914, I enjoyed reading your post. Everything you wrote really reveals the true nature of this organization.

  Christ said, " What man of YOU with a hundred sheep, on losing one of them, will not leave the ninety-nine behind in the wilderness and go for the lost one until he finds it? And when he has found it he puts it upon his shoulders and rejoices. And when he gets home he calls his friends and his neighbors together, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found my sheep that was lost.' " - Luke 15:4-6

  In contrast ...

  Your wife said, "You disfellowshipped people think that anyone still cares about you? You are old news the week after you are announced no one even cares or thinks about you it's like whatever!"

  Ah yes, "conditional love" at it's finest. And they wonder why so few DF'd people return.

  Just remember, she's still under the influence of the WT's cultish mind-control. Try to wake her up gently.

  Freeof1914, "Isn't that what you do every Saturday morning?"

  Priceless!
• 

  Lozza Aussie

  Freeof1914 your wife mentions that disfellowshipped people are old news one week after the announcement and no one cares about them. My experience has been whether you are disfellowshipped or not NO ONE cares about you. I want out because of this reason amongst many others. What a LOVELESS organisation this is.