Some odd developments

by dissonance_resolved 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  Captain Obvious

  To him, it's The Truth. Getting you to meetings can only make you understand that! In his head, if he is a believer, that is the only proper outcome. Besides, even if his wife is "spiritually sick" the kids still need to get to the meetings. Just consider things from his POV.

  He often do you two talk about this kind of thing? Was this the first time? Was dropping hints and planting seeds not working for you? I would hope that your time on this board would have shown you that the "laying it on the table" approach simply DOESN'T work.

  When you do have chats, does he seem to listen or even hear what you say? Does he get defensive? Who usually ends the conversation?

  Dont get mad at him when he does stuff like this. Just restate your position respectfully, If necessary. Above all, show him that you're a much better, more loveable person without the org.

  Next time the subject comes up, let him speak. Ask him what his position is, how he feels about all of this. Answer his questions clearly and quickly, but above all let him SPEAK. Seek to understand, then to be understood.

  Let your parents feel and say as they please for the moment, but do NOT let them influence your hubs in regards to what to do about you.
• 

  outsmartthesystem

  Isn't it sad......yet very telling of the authoritarian control structure exhibited within this group.....when you.....as a grown adult....feel the need to supply excuses for being absent from church?

  Your parents' failure to address the missed meeting was an abberation. They'll be back on track soon. Your husband hasn't fully digested what you've told him. He heard "I'm a little depressed the end isn't here yet".
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  Watchtower-Free

  Heres a fade technique thats worked well for others . You need to develope

  Depression

  Anxiety attacks

  Panic attacks

  Suicidal ideation

  All revovling around meeting attendence . Being in large groups . Being damaged by

  the conduct of JWs and elders . Then you can skip meetings and just do the phone

  link up .Of course while you are linked you can watch TV.

  For many this is real . They have been damaged by elders and regular JWs . Just think of it as

  real life spiritual warfare .
• 

  tornapart

  D-R.... I'm having the exact same things happening. An alternative universe sounds just about right!!
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  *lost*
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  mind blown

  Hubby I'm sure he's just trying to do the "so called" right thing (head of household, guilt, fear, etc.).If I were you I'd totally sex & cook him up. I'm sure he'll forget all about the rest after a while!

  It worked on my ex husband. But we ended up spliting for different reasons as he was a drinker..
• 

  dissonance_resolved

  Thanks again everyone- I haven't had much time to reply. Sorry I can't remember your names but here goes-

  I've read Plato before, but will check it out again- I'm sure it will look different with the JW blinders off.

  My husband and I haven't had a lot of in depth discussion. Honestly, I've been afraid to bring it up. I absolutely cannot lose my kids over this. I've tried dropping hints and suggestions but nothing ever went far. Plus he's been sick and I didn't want to stress him out even more. But I think the discussion we had was enough so that if I bring things to his attention going forward, he will have the context whereas he didn't before. I'm trying to take it slow and not force anything, per the advice I've received on this forum.

  With my parents, I'm starting to wonder if maybe they'll just play the game as long as I make an appearance once in awhile. We were actually going to another congregation for awhile, never officially switched, but I think somehow everyone else is thinking if we aren't here, we're there and vice versa, which is a good thing. Only my parents really know that we should actually be attending their meetings and I'm hoping they'll just let it go with the checking up. It's funny, my dad always lets me know if they won't be at the meeting and why, but I'm making it a point not to.
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  StAnn

  DR, read up on the new changes in the July WT and tell your family you're just so confused that they'd abandon the doctrine about 1914 and the FDS. Tell them you just don't know if you can accept this 180 degree turnaround. Act really broken up but stay home and do the depression thing, world shattered because the WTS is not what they say they are, etc. Might work. A similar doctrine change worked in my SIL's favor and she got out unscathed.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  DR: Remember, none of this is scripted, so expect the unexpected.

  In the case of your husband, if he wasn't feeling well, maybe he was just hoping to get the kids out of the house. And despite what WT says about women being the weaker sex and emotionally fragile, let's be honest, men can be big babies and emotionally clueless. So, just like the kids, you may have to tell him things several times before he "gets it."

  In the case of your parents, you have to realize that it's part of the JW programming that they must check on you if you miss a meeting. Because the only valid reasons to miss a meeting are if someone is near death. If they didn't ask, chances are that they are getting tired of asking and getting excuses. They heard your voice on the phone and you didn't volunteer any information that anything was "wrong", so in this case their reaction is practically normal rather than the usual "you missed a meeting interrogation".

  What will happen tomorrow or next week is hard to figure. Like I said, none of this is scripted. If you were to continue as a WT drone, you're lines would be written for the role that you are supposed to play. But now that you decide to no longer play your role as a mindless sheeple, it leaves the JWs around you trying to figure out what lines they're supposed to be speaking.