Why elders' wives are such gossipers...

by Calebs Airplane 53 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  Calebs Airplane

  I have a theory as to why elders' wives gossip so much. I believe a big part of it has to do with the conversation running dry (between themselves and their elder husbands) after so many years of marriage. Since they don't get to spend too much "quality time" together (because of the elder husband's hamster wheel schedule), when they do have some intimate time alone, the elder's wives will invaribly attempt to engage their husbands in any kind of interchange. However, since the only remaining conversation topics of any interest (after so many years of marriage) are usually the congregation scandals, that's what they inevitably end up talking about. Afterwards, when the elders' wives find themselves alone for too long, they start calling each other up to entertain themselves and enjoy a scandalous interchange of stories in an attempt to liven up their otherwise boring lives.

  But I could be wrong.
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  blondie

  http://awaythrough.com/blog/relational-aggression/gossip-rumours-and-the-two-part-telephone-game

  I was an elder's wife and I did not gossip before I was, during or after. In fact I squelched gossip around me. If no one listens, gossip tends to die. The real gossipers are the husbands who tell their wives. Or the elder's wife who gets info from her husband and tells the other wives. It only takes one elder who tells his wife for all the wives to know (if they choose to listen) and then the whole congregation.

  My husband says that elders were bigger gossipers tellingl JC events to elders in other congregation saying it was okay because they did not give the names but enough details that only an idiot would not know who it was. Always under the guise of "helping" but no help was ever given, just entertainment for the elders.

  I knew one elder that said it would devolve into who had the most amazing story competition.

  The TELEPHONE GAME

  
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  tiki

  its a very judgemental religion - and people fall into that - if someone is insecure, he/she tends to put others down, so as to elevate self. the religion breeds insecurity, you are made to feel never good enough, so in order to maintain a modicum of self-esteem (which is a basic human need for mental/emotional health) they have to create a sense of personal superiority - what better way than to knock someone else.

  and blondie makes very good points. i had a father who was an elder and while i think he kept his mouth shut about some things, there was plenty that i knew about. but - i was not the gossip - i always hated it - and i was the victim of one helluva lot of it in that cong...........
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  label licker

  Blondie, you are soooooo right. When we came to our last hall, an elder informed us that the cobe had gone to our last hall to find out why we were in their hall even though we came with a good letter of recommendation (the elder that wrote it told us) as well as the backing of the co. The cobe got some dirt on us and brought it back to this body of elders and one of the elders sqealed to us. If you went out to lunch with that elder, him and his wife would tell us what was said at the elders meetings. It's really bad when an elders wife goes over to a disfellowshipped person and starts talking to them before any announcement is made that evening. And she did this infront of everyone at the hall. We had an elder in the old hall who"s wife did the time cards for her husband who was the service overseer. One day I was in a car group of sisters and they were asking the one elders wife what the local needs was going to be and she started to devulge and I said I don't want to know, thankyou. Just read my last post started and all of that shit was started from an elders wife gossip.
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  life is to short

  I was like Blonde and I never knew anything that went on in the hall nor did I want too. I hated it when I heard gossip and I always stopped it right away.

  I do know that the CoBE was one of the largest gossipers around and like Blonde said he would give out enough information that any idiot could figure out who he was talking about.

  I also agree with tiki that the religion breeds insecurity. As an elders wife I could never do enough, invite people over enough, go out in service enough, etc. I worked too much I was told over and over yet somehow I was expected to pay for gas for service, taking the speaker out for lunch, feeding the CO, hosting book study, helping ones in the hall who needed help and that included MONEY to give them, etc yet I was not supposed to work so much and devote more time to field service and relay more on Jehovah to pick up the slack. Yet when we did not have money to give I was yelled at for that too. My husband was devoted to being an elder especially when we were first married and made hardly anything so we could be where the need was great and help out where Jehovah needed us. I have been told and told and told that if I had just had more faith that Jehovah would have picked up the slack, but I was not allowing Jehovah to help me because I worked. Plus all Jehovah ever promised us was just enough to survive. I have been told over and over that many pioneers back in the 40's and 50's slept in cardboard boxes and lived on one sandwich a day but Jehovah gave them the box and the sandwich.

  One of the things I hated the most was sitting around while my husband was in elders meetings for hours and hours on end. The other elders wifes would all get together in a group and exclude me because I DID NOT AND WOULD NOT GOSSIP. It was hell sitting in a room with a bunch of women who hated me. Same for field service. I have been told many times I could just go home as there was no room for me when I would meet for service.

  I guess I hate it when elders wife's are labeled as gossipers because not all of us were. Some of us were treated like dirt.

  LITS
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  Quandry

  Blondie....exactly....my husband was an elder for twenty years. THEY are the ones who gossip and revealed "confidential matters." I tried very hard not to listen to or spread gossip.
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  tornapart

  Caleb's Airplane.. that's a bit of a generalisation, I'm an elder's wife and I hate gossip. Out of all the elder's wives in our congregation I don't know of any who gossip. One or two of the elders are much worse than their wives!
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  Londo111

  I believe being stuck in a car with other people for hours on end, especially all day if pioneering, naturally lends toward gossip. People become desperate for something to talk about.
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  designs

  Blondie- That is really what happens, the Elders telling their wives what has gone on in the JCs. Dinner parties were the other occaision where the secrets were leaked, terrible people, what betrayal.
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  wha happened?

  My ex FIL would often tell all to his wife. Who wold then speak to the children about it. It was impossible in that cong to keep a secret