Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life (page 2)

Tameria2001

When I left the JWs, I did not move away at first. Due to things out of my control, I did end up moving to another state. After moving here, I was able to buy a home. Because I was so sick of the bull that my JW relatives were still puting me through, I decided not to forward my mail. The place I am living at, no one knows my history with the Watchotwer, except for a few of my non-JW relatives. The part I love the most is that I no longer get dirty looks from the JWs, nor watch them cross the street or turn around when they see me coming. That being because if any JW does run into me, they don't know my history with them.

When I bought my home back in 2008 it was like a fresh start for me, but it did take time to get there. I left the JWs back in 2001.

LongHairGal

Mum:

Certainly it was not all roses when you left the religion, but, at least the problems were not JW-related but simply normal life issues. It was also a great feeling to know your free time was your own, with no pressure to do anything you didn't want to do.

And the longer you were away, the more you enjoyed it. What was most interesting was how I did not feel: I did not feel a sense of pressure and it was more upbuilding to be at home than ever in the damn kingdom hall.

I happened to get together this past weekend with an old non-JW school friend. Thankfully, I was not raised a JW and I knew her back in the day before I got involved.

Let me say it was wonderful to observe somebody who had a fulfilling life free from the JW experience. I was left regretting the time wasted in this miserable religion. Time I can never get back.

sillygirl2013

Reminds me of a sister who was disfellowshipped but used to come to the meetings regularly. My parents who have kind souls (however into the borg they are) would pick her up. Mum used to give her sad smiles every so often but although I knew she wanted to do more you know what the borg is like about that.

She was disfellowshipped for adultery. Her husband was some sort of jackass who first of all used to eye every post-pubescent girl in the cong leeringly, and also obviously treated his family like shyte. I hated him froom the moment they moved into our area.

Anyway I didn't talk to this sister much before the thing happened but after it my heart went out to her each time I saw her come into the meeting, sit in the back and quietly try to leave before it ended. Once I ended up sitting next to her by chance. It was hurtful that we could happily converse with others while she had to sit like she didn't exist between us all. (During the breaks)

Feeling as terrible as possible, although this made me dub-guilty I scribbled a note in the corner of my copy saying that J loved her no matter what and that everything would be okay.. and held her hand during the prayer (I hope everyone's eyes were closed!) passing the note on. She cried when she left, and I did too.

One of the prime things that made me question the "truth" that was.

Coffee House Girl

I did move out on my own first before leaving the JW's, I think it really helped me to try my first baby steps of thinking independently (although I was still holding on to the religious dogma at the time)...it was nice to not have to explain to anyone where I was going, with whom, when was I going to be back, etc. It wasn't till I was on my own that I started to hang out in coffee shops and talk to actual normal nonJW people. I was living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes my budget was really tight but it was worth it to live a couple weeks on ramen noodles or mac n cheese- my employers were really cool about giving me a raise when I said that I wanted to move into my own place, they are the ones who really supported my decision to be more independent (they didn't think it was right for a mid-twentysomething to be single living with her parents).

If I had to do it over, I would have moved to a different congregation territory so I could have done a proper fade...but I think you are making a very wise decision & it will be a life changer for you :)

Best of Luck!

CHG

LostGeneration

Oneday,

I applaud you on your decision to burn the bridge and start your own life away from this cult. Trust me, I wish that I had your insight two decades ago when I had my initial doubts after leaving high school. I wasted more than 15 years because I never trusted my gut, and was used by the WTBTS. You might be poor for a while, but freedom is more important than money, and you will never regret your decision to leave.

DesirousOfChange

You might be poor for a while, but freedom is more important than money

That sounds good in principle.

But anyone who is broke, homeless, and hungry might have 2nd thoughts about that.

CA$H is KING. Money Talks. You can take that to the bank.

There's a reason that such expression exist.

PLAN your exit.

Doc

Coffee House Girl

Oneday,

Oh I forgot appartment hunting experience/advise: I personally found a nice small appt. inside a large old victorian house that had been split up into 3 appartments, it was owned by an older hippie couple who just asked for $200 down and I never signed a lease or filled out an application. It was ideal for me since I was just starting out (didn't have much money for first and last months rent w/deposit), there were a few quirks in living in a century old house with hippies for landlords, but overall it worked out well and I had a lot of privacy...plus it was cute and cozy on the inside (outside the house looked like it was always in disrepair, people in town called it the ghosthouse).

If you are worried about money you could also put your name on a waiting list for "income-based" appartment buildings, the rent would be cheap and based on your income so you know you could afford it with proper budgeting (but a bit more noisy and smoke filled, and as a JW we hit those a lot in the door to door preaching). Some people like to go through those especially to help build credit, those types of places do at least report to the credit bureau so you have can have a good record if you try to apply to rent anywhere else in the future.

Just my two cents!

CHG