Amelia, sorry to hear about such an awful experience.
Smiddy, there were good times, and if you were the organizer the friends generally responded and had a good time also. What's the old saying 'God is good until he ain't', it can all turn in a moment. One of the last BBQs I went to a brother made some comments about the changes going on, I think around 1995, and several friends went to the Elders and made a lot of trouble for the poor guy. I learned over the years that you could just never be truly open and speak your mind.