My husband and I were poor as churchmice when we got married. We got married on Sunday morning during the mass at the local Lutheran church. All of our friends were church members, except for a few, so it saved us money on invitations. We had cake and coffee for the reception, i.e., coffee hour. I made the cake. Great wedding, very meaningful. We've been married for 11 years.
Odd KH Wedding
by earthfire 19 Replies latest jw experiences
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JeffT
My wife and I got married in the KH on Sunday afternoon, however there was only the one congregation using our hall. We had four bridesmaids, and four groomsmen. We were broke and it as a very simple wedding. That will be 39 years ago in October, we're still together.
I'm a big fan of simple weddings. The modern American wedding industry is a bigger ripoff than the oil companies.
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HarryMac
I remember for a while every time there was a witness wedding the number of bridesmaids went up to outdo the last one. I heard of a couple with eight.
We eloped. I wasn't baptized and we had no money. It worked good.
Also, Jehovah's people are the happiest people on earth! Don't you know that?
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Jaidubdub
We've had many Sunday weddings here... And yes, we had to evacuate the KH in time for the next cong's meeting...
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wha happened?
Most weddings in our area were on Saturday. We just had to be mindful of the Spanish congregation, which met on Saturday. My 1st marraige was a full blown JW event. 3 Bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen. About 300 people were there.
Marraige #2 was also to a JW. We got married in Vegas.
Wedding # was so much more fun as I had no one to please, except my wife. The 1st marraige I was constantly dealing with the reception issues and gossip. It was a lot of work to entertain and feed people who were for the most part, rather ungrateful of the whole event
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blondie
Weddings are regulated by the BOE (perhaps only the service committee now) so it varies from hall to hall what "rules" are applied.
Most jws feel they need the appearance of a blessing on the couple by having it in the KH. No KH = hanky panky before the wedding.
Of course, that isn't necessarily true, some have a small wedding in their backyard, at a public garden, etc.
1) DATE AND TIME
2) SPEAKER IS SURE BRIDE AND GROOM HAVE NOT BEEN FOOLING AROUND
3) APPROVAL OF BRIDE'S AND BRIDESMAID AND MAID/MATRON OF HONOR DRESSES (MALE CHOICES TOO) (NOT TOO MUCH SKIN OR CLEAVAGE)
4) AMOUNT OF FLOWERS AND DECORATION OF THE KH IF ANY
5) WEDDING VOWS AND ANY WORDS FROM BRIDE'S FAMILY IF ANY (PRETTY MUCH LIKE A FUNERAL)
6) CAN DF'D BE UNINVITED TO A WEDDING AT A KH? (PUBLIC OR NOT?)
7) MUSIC ONLY KH SONGS, TAPES, GUITARS, PIANO, FLUTE? (HARD TO TIME TAPES TO WEDDING PROCESSIONAL)
8) SEATING AND ATTENDANTS
9) HOW (ONLY AT SERVICE MEETING) AND IF ANNOUNCED AT KH; POST ON INFORMATION BOARD; INVITATIONS NOT HANDED OUT AT MEETINGS
10) MUST ALL THE BRIDAL PARTY BE BAPTIZED?
11) REHEARSAL MAY BE ALLOWED IF TIME OPENING
12) PHOTOS/VIDEOS CONTROLLED NOT TO INTERFERE WITH EVENT
13) AND WHATEVER PERSONAL RULES THE ELDERS APPLY
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gma-tired2
Only Jehovah Witness petty rules take the fun out of any happy gathering.
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Band on the Run
I see such tacky weddings. Throwing money on a grotesque dress and mediocre food only shows you are low class. The more society churches in NY often have simple weddings. I used to look at wedding gowns in up scale stores for inspiration. The dresses were of the finest quality but simple. Recently, I had time to kill and went to a local bride store. Oh, my God. The ugly polyester dresses for more than $1,000. J. Crew has far better quality for around two hundred dollars. The zipper was metal and inserted incorrectly.
Saving a down payment by not throwing a fling for everyone who hates you is nice. There is no need for women to play fairy princess anymore. The man should celebrate the bride.
It was a big deal when Witnesses started wearing wedding dresses. If you are a sample size, you can find great dresses for a fraction. The seams are very large in wedding dresses to accomodate alterations. My friend went from an 8 to a 20 in the same dress.
I will take a nice honeymoon or down payment any day and any time. My ideal wedding would be in Paris. Only it is difficult to book a Protestant wedding b/c there are so few venues. A wedding should celebrate a commitment that exists morally and legally. It should not be a show.
Many women who could well afford a vulgar dress settle on one that can be recycled. Another source is hand me downs from former brides. I know good marriages despite a gown from a divorced bride. The divorce rate is 50% Life goes on after the wedding.
Queen for a day. Fool forever.
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rebel8
Us kids/singles used to get SO excited when we got to go to a wedding, because we could dance and dress up. Other teens were going to dances and proms so this was our only opportunity to do something remotely like that normal rite of passage. Of course we had censored music and dance, but it was something.
I was never thrilled for the couple. I mean, happy for them I guess, but just pondering what it means made me sad. A whole life with no career, part-time jobs, pioneering and a man to boss you around because he's superior to you. Now the only thing you have left to look forward to in life is maybe climbing the jw social ladder by your husband getting appointed to man the book counter after meetings, and a lifetime of weekdays driving around with a bunch of dull gossips, bothering people at their homes.
Then if you're lucky enough to stay alive through Armageddon, you get to be with the same person forever, with all the same friends and boring hobbies, plus the added tasks of farming and burying dead bodies. Yay!
A jw wedding always seemed sad to me--a sense of resigning oneself to a lifestyle of gloom and endless boredom. Kill me now.
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Band on the Run
Times may have changed but weddings were a failure in JW terms. Full time service at Bethel or Gilead, special pioneering were the goals. Marriage itself distracts. Children are the nail in the coffin. My parents were ostracized when they married. He left Bethel to marry her. She had to pay for her own wedding band. Fashion design was her dream. Her sisters and she had the most wonderful outfits that they sewed. My mom's wedding gown had Scottie dogs on it. Not exactly how royalty marries.
Her father worked on his car until the very last minute. MY gf did not change into better clothes.
I grew up across the street from an Irish Roman Catholic Church Those brides were worthy of Cinderella. The bells would peal. I always wanted ot sneak in and see how pretty women were married. My parents used the pealing of the bells to lecture me about how bad Catholics were. A four yer old girl has no doubts about what kind of bride she will be.
Marriage is serious. There are so many Witness divorces. Marry rather than premartital sex. I expect marriage and the legitimate, barely,sex drive many to a premature altar and livng grave.
When both my same age female cousins married, I was allowed at the bridal shower and wedding. They were not wedding gifts. Cheapo, crass things like measuring cups and spoons. I actually cried. Sex for m easuring cups. Worldly women hold out for far more. Very sad.
Is it truly all right to marry now? Weak people married. I always thought I would do special works for Jehovah. Marriage was for losers who could not keep it in their pants.