Caleb's Prayer To Jehovah After Trashing Sparlock To Keep Jehovah From Experiencing A Major Depression

by frankiespeakin 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Please click the louis armstrong video and read.

    Dear Jehovah I approach you in Jesus name this is what I want to say:

    Yesterday I tossed my farvorite toy "sparlock the warrior wizard" in the garbage can because my mommy who is one of your witnesses said it would make you sadly depressed. I beg for your forgiveness in Jesus name, if I had known before hand I would have never excepted this gift from Johnny my worldly friend who mommy said was most likely going to be destroyed at armageddon because his parents are worldly and make you very sad because they are not Jehovah's Witnesses like my parents.

    And after thinking the matter over I decided to burn Sparlock just to make sure you forgive me, I'm so so sorry I made you sad please don't take my life at armageddon. If burning Sparlock is not enough to make you happy again and get over your sadness I would gladly do anything else just to make sure your OK and not sad. Maybe I can pull his arms off cut off his head and pluck his eyes out if that will make you happy again.

    I never ment to hurt you in any way Jehovah I hope you feel better. And just let me know any time any where what more I can do to make you happy again.

    Bye bye in Jesus name amen

    When you smilling the whole world smiles with Youuuuuuu!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC_XM4l1DHo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOH_mioL3TU

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    jehovah - he's a sensitive little sky god, ain't he?

  • Joliette
    Joliette

    @ Mr.Jones5 very hypersenstive! I couldnt be friends with him.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    MrsJ,

    Sure is especially when it is his feeling not ours.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Caleb's return visit on Jehovah in prayer:

    Dear Jehovah I love you in Jesus name I hope you feeling better! I just wanted to let you know I have been thinking alot about you. I actually love the way you slaughtered all those people durring Noah's day they had it coming even the babies. Which brings me to the subject of my baby sister she pulls my hair and even bit me and it hurt,, please don't get sad over it she is little and don't know any better please forgive her in Jesus name I pray amen.

    Ps: Also mommy and daddy are fighting again, I don't know who is right and who is wrong, please don't kill them we need them, where will I live? or will you put them and me and my little sister to death along with them? I don't think we did anything wrong? Please forgive me Jehovah and I don't want to make you sad in any way but it don't make sense to me please forgive me Jehovah.

  • PaintedToeNail
    PaintedToeNail

    frankie-You are a mind reader! As a little kid, I used to pray like that (without the arm removal & eye poking-out stuff) that Jehovah wouldn't kill me for some crazy infraction...so sad! Kids are really made to feel that they are worthy of death in the borg.

  • Calebs Airplane
    Calebs Airplane

    Dear Jehovah:

    One more thing... Can I please keep my yellow airplane which you already know is based on dive bombers of World War II like the Corsair F4U and the Junkers ju-87? I know my toy airplane represents wide-spread genocide and destruction, but at least it doesn't represent "magic", right?

    In Jesus name.

    Amen

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Did that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag joke-hova ever do anything for me? Or, did that thing make sure my needs would br frustrated in every way possible so I would end up becoming a jokehovian witless? For that, I would be interested in being a distributor in Sparlock items. Only I would actually consecrate each item to Satan so they would double the depression for joke-hova. And instead of getting rid of them, I think you should get some more. And worse ones.

    Along with a Ouija board, Tarot cards, ritual tools, black candles, and researching every legitimate site on Spiritual Satanism you can get. And start practicing. That ought to get joke-hova on Prozac. And Paxil. And Welbutrin. And Zoloft.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Caleb talking too mommy about making Jehovah sad:

    Caleb: Mom does Jehovah get sad alot?

    Mom: No Caleb Jehovah is a happy God

    Caleb: So Jehovah is happy?

    Mom: Yes

    Caleb: What makes Jehovah really the most sadest?

    Mom: When people don't beleive in him and they don't listen and obey him that makes Jehovah really sad

    Caleb: I know just like our song at the kingdom hall "listen obey and be blessed" my favorite

    Mom: That makes Jehovah happy

    Caleb: Why does Jehovah kill people when they make him sad?

    Mom: Because Jehovah made everything thing he has the right to do that if people make him sad

    Caleb: I'm going to do my best to never make Jehovah sad ever

    Mom: Oh I'm so proud of you Caleb you make Jehovah, Mommy and Daddy happy, I hope you alway make Jehovah happy

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    This is one of the best and revealing posts I've read here.

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