Hubby found out about me celebrating my kids birthday...

by cognac 16 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DeWandelaar

  Wow... to be honest... if this is the situation in your marriage then I wonder why you not already left?!

  Ratting each other out is not ideal in a marriage
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  Joliette

  That is so childish that your husband would go back and tell people at the hall. Good for standing up for what you believe in. I AM SO HAPPY to be out of that wack ass legalistic cult.
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  jean-luc picard

  More to the point: did your children have a great time?
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  flipper

  COGNAC- So sorry you are dealing with this. Have you started building up friendships outside the JW organization yet ? It may be a good time to start doing that, if you haven't already. Good for you in standing up to your husband and holding your ground. A marriage shouldn't be tortured by each party wondering if they are going to rat each other out or not. I had that in my 1st marriage to a JW fanatic ex-wife and she would rat me out to elders at the drop of a dime. It destroyed any trust we had or love for that matter. And that's a question you'll need to ask yourself : Do you want to bring your children up in a loveless marriage or environment ? Only you can answer that question or deal with the consequences of your decisions. Hang in there, we are here as a support to you if you ever want to talk,O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  StAnn

  {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to Cognac. So sorry your husband isn't your support, as he should be, but I bet your 4 year-old had a blast!
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  rmt1

  (Hi, everyone. All my immediate blood relatives are dead in the cult and will never escape. I have no reason not to post on this forum. I grew up in Central PA / Harrisburg congregations.)
  
  I'd put holidays right at the top of the list of ways in which JW born-in are permanently damaged and rendered susceptible to neuroses and psychopathy. A little closer to what I think is the medical reality: born-in JW _brains are permanently damaged_ from the chronic sustained cognitive dissonance of adhering to the holiday issue against all evidence of general enjoyment, marking the year, and social support. As this goes on in age it creates a sunk-cost incentive to circling the wagons in denial, requiring further gymnastics in dissonance, more brain damage, more lying to yourself our of your own mouth and into your own ear.

  Ideally, you will get them out before they have the faintest clue or slightest appreciation for your salvation. If you make it work, you'll be better off to have temporarily thankless children who have a future, and who go through a typical maturation process, than amputated, lobotomized, porceline angels who duck step and hand out tracks when your platform talking heads wind them up.

  I believe the highest metric of your success will be if they never thank you for it, because you saved them before they started recording their lives.
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  smiddy

  He sounds like a weasel who sucks up to the elders to get brownie points .I am a male, and I support my wife , if we have a difference of opinion we discuss it , I`m speaking generally here as neither of us are witnesses anymore .Your husband sounds like a WUSS .I commend you for standing up for your convictions , but sad to say their are consequenses when you and your extended family are involved in this cult .He needs to realise that a religion who does this to a family ( come between husband & wife ) is not a religion worth staying in .If he is stupid enough to forsake his wife and child for this religion , then take him for all he`s got and get a good divorce lawyer and start a new life for yourself and child .You will be better off without him.( If he doesn`t come to his senses )

  smiddy