JW's and Marriage (page 3)

ConnieLynn

Most witnesses I knew got married right out of high school.I was married to an elder (I got married before I was 18 to a guy age 28)...I would have left earlier than I did, but I didn't know what I would do.

That is so sad for people raised as a witness. You're whole support network is made up of witnesses, so you don't dare tell someone how you "REALLY" feel. And if you did leave, where would you go, what would you do?. No witness in good standing would let you stay with them.

In addition, since you have never dated without a chaperone, you intimidated around other men, and get nervous if they look at you. It's a set up so you think you can't leave.

Hyghlandyr

Teejay my situation is very much like yours I think. In another post I stated I am a hobbit. I just like staying at home...read cygnus post about the one wish...hehe.

Connielynn right on darlin. I dont think I could date a man and not be uncomfortable. It would just be eerie for me. Them lookin at me and all that...no thank you.

Room 215

The shockingly high rate of marital failure and/or family problems is one of the uglier secrets of life in the JW world.

It would seem that the two main reasons are: (1) They often marry too young, or simply to slake their unexpressed passion. Since marriage is the one socially acceptable way for young JWs to deflect the constant pressure to pioneer, go to Bethel, etc. as wellas the only way to get laid and not get ostracized, they jump into marriage.

(2) The naively buy into the notion that since they have ``the truth'' all of their innate natural compabilibities and cultural disparities will cause them no problem and will melt away unbder the unifying force of their mutual zeal for the cause.

Hyghlandyr

Room 215 said

The shockingly high rate of marital failure and/or family problems is one of the uglier secrets of life in the JW world.

Personally I dont think marraiges ending in divorce is a failure. We have this concept only because we are told that marraiges must last a lifetime. I am content with relationships of all sorts coming and going, though amiacably would be prefered.

Elsewhere

Hyghlandyr, good point.

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

teejay

Personally I dont think marraiges ending in divorce is a failure. We have this concept only because we are told that marraiges must last a lifetime. I am content with relationships of all sorts coming and going, though amiacably would be prefered.

Hyghlandyr,

I’m liking you more and more. You may be way off your rocker, but at least you got company!!

Just this morning I dropped off my baby at the daycare. The lady who runs it is a JW, very good people... known her and her family 20+ years. She and her husband have invited us to her 35th wedding anniversary. We’ve accepted. Like I said... they’re very good people. The fact they’d invite me, who they KNOW has been inactive for years but it don’t bother them one bit, says it all.

Anyway, I can’t remember what she said this morning, but I responded by saying that 35 years married to the same person is ridiculous. She laughed, but I was serious. Like I told her... “nobody’s THAT interesting.”

Relationships are like books, or movies. No matter how good they are, you don’t want to read or see the same one over and over and over again for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Do you?

LB

Many stay in the marriage for certain regardless of how bad it sucks. The women in my son's in-law family seem to have a knack for getting out of it. ALL of the women there managed to set up their hubbies and get them DFed when they wanted out. While that might seem difficult you havee to remember they were raised in the truth which of course gives them certain insights.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Xena

Room,

The naively buy into the notion that since they have ``the truth'' all of their innate natural compabilibities and cultural disparities will cause them no problem and will melt away unbder the unifying force of their mutual zeal for the cause.

I remember hearing that as long as you apply the scriptures ANY marriage will work! lol

Hyghlander I totally agree with you on that! I think relationships are constantly growing and changing...and sometimes that means growing apart and moving on...not always the easiest thing to do but sometimes the best for all involved.

lol teejay I am one of those people who keeps books forever and re-reads them...but I do need more than ONE book to keep me satisfied.

expatbrit

Seems to me that whether a marriage "fails" or not depends upon the intent the partners had going into the marriage.

If they married with the intent of forming a lifelong partnership, and are unable to achieve that objective, then the marriage has failed.

If they married with the expectation that the marriage would only last a certain amount of time, and after that time has expired, they seperate, then the marriage has met the objective and the breakup is not a failure.

Expatbrit

Xena

Depends I guess on how you define failure expat. I think if you leave the marriage with good memories and stay friends you can't really consider it a failure...just a turning point in your life.

JW's and Marriage

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