She knows when I am lying. She knows when I am keeping a secret. She has this really weird way of reading my mind sometimes. We once went to this JW party. At the party they had this game where you were given a secret word and you could only say a one word clue to the other person and they were supposed to guess what the secret word was. The person who had to give the least amount of clues won.
My secret word was pillar. So, I was thinking Sampson cause he had to push all those pillars down. But, I got mixed up and gave my first clue as "Solomon". She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "pillar". Everyone thought we cheated but there was no way we could have.
She just reads me like no other person can. Both children I was pregnant with she knew I was pregnant before I told her. There were no clues and I never even told her I was trying. I don't know how she does it, but she does.
I love her dearly. She knows where I stand and doesn't say a word about it and I know that takes great courage. She is one of the most loving, selfless persons I have ever met.
But, her comments, even though out of love, completely break my heart sometimes and there is nothing I can do but listen...
Sometimes hearing about how bad apostates are is completely heartbreaking. And I know she is not trying to teach me anything by saying it, I know she is not trying to hurt me in any way. I know she just tells herself that I "think a lot" and "have a lot of questions and opinions" and tries to convince herself on some level that I'm not actually an apostate. But, I know deep inside she knows what I am.
And as close as we are, as much as we love eachother, this pains me more then anything...