Outrageous memorial experience *sigh* (page 2)

new boy

"By their love you WILL recognize them!" Christ had it right.

Wow! This is an odd post. In years past, I knew an anointed sister who was DF'd and she was still served and still partook. We had other non-aointed DF folks who usually sat in the back, because they felt better doing that ... we did not assign seats to them. And we simply passed the emblems to them, and they nicely passed them on down the row.

I do recall one time being told not to count a DF person in the attendance records ... but, later on this was corrected.

normie67

...to my knowledge in the truth (some 25plus years)there has never been or have I ever heard of seating the DF'd in a specific row. i.e "The Disfellowshipped Row"...its true most df'd people tend to gravitate to the back of the hall....but I have never seen or heard of the ushers passing over (no pun intended)the df'd people..I am not saying that it has not happened, but this sounds a little fishy...

just my two cents

n67

orangefatcat

What I want to know it who the hell made them judge and jury!! Matthew 7:1 comes to my mind.
God forbid if any one of them become disfellow shipped.
What goes around comes around, and not the bread and wine!!

Hyghlandyr

This experience is precisely why disfellowshipped ones should not play the game by the WTBTS rules. Make up your own rules. Sit in front. A friend of mine was surprisingly invited to the funeral of a family member recently. She told them she would not go if she was going to be shunned or have to sit in the back. They agreed she could sit with the family.

Until she got there. Then they tried to direct her to the back row. Several times the attendant did this. She refused and sat near or at the front anyhow.

I understand not going to the hall if you are bothered by it. I told the elders if they dfed me I would absolutely go and sit in front and smile and talk and wave and generally be my congenial self. Among other things that prevented them from dfing me. Who knows in the future they may still try.

If I were dfed I would go to the memorial at hall where I was not known. I would probably partake. If I were going to partake I would go to extensive lengths with a makeup artist to make myself appear old. Then I would remove the mask and inform them I was dfed hehe.

Joy said

I would have said a year ago that this behavior shocks me, but not any more. Be glad you saw first hand that the wtbts is not 'christian' when they can't even do what they say.

An examination of christian conduct, writings, and philosophy since its beginning will demonstrate that this kind of haughtiness, and acting contrary to your words, is exactly 'christian'.

there has never been or have I ever heard of seating the DF'd in a specific row. i.e "The Disfellowshipped Row"...its true most df'd people tend to gravitate to the back of the hall....

Why do you think they gravitate to the back row? If a disfellowshipped person leaves the witness he is no longer a member. If he continues to participate, especially with reinstatement in view, then he is a member who is being disciplined. There are certain things elders expect from a dfed person for reinstatement. These vary but acting dfed is one of them, including being nondescript, like sitting in the back. This is also important because if a new one talked to a dfed at the meetings there would be gasps. As complicated as the doctrine is, as hazy as the rules are about it, and as disgusting as it is to most people, few witnesses want to explain right away to a study who just came to a meeting, why such and such a person must not be even greeted.

What I want to know it who the hell made them judge and jury!!

We did. By joining, with the knowledge that we could be dfed. We did by adhering to their rules for dfed people if we are dfed. We did by trying to get back if we are dfed. And we did by being shocked that they should act like judge and jury when we give them consent to do so.

If you have read my posts in the past, you have seen that I simply refused to give them that authority. I told them plainly I did not consent to their authority, I did not passively assent to it, and I know the watchtower does not take authority by force, do they? I also informed them that they never were my elders, I did not know them, and they never would by my eldres. I had not consented for my publisher record card to be transfered to them.

I look at it this way, they can continue to judge me. I personally dont mind. But I will not give them authority over my soul, spirit, conscience, mind, or any other aspect of my life.

But then the same goes for the rest of you talking monkeys on this planet.

messenger

The protocol described in this post is truly outrageous. At the same time it is outside the guidelines offered to those who participate in the JW Memorial. ALL in attendance are offered the opportunity to partake, even if they are df or da. If this story is true it would appear some local elders developed their personal protocol for how the Memorial should be conducted, they were out of line. If the individual concerned wanted to make an issue he should write the wt and tell them the story and ask why he was treated in this manner. The elders would get a letter in short order and the df one might get an apology.

When matters such as this are offered it is important to not add more to the problems at hand that do not have substance. There is no wt protocol for for not serving DF ones at memorial.

SPAZnik

*fuming* GRRRRRRR.

my last memorial experience was a doozy too....but i was still "in" at the time...technically that is...my father gave the memorial talk...all full of himself up there in front of everyone like his patriarchal sh*t don't stink...

i didn't hear a word of the talk...the words that kept ringing thru my ears the entire time...were the totally preposterous words he had cruelly said to his wife (my step-mother) that very morning over some non-issue that pissed his "holiness" off...this is how he spoke to his own wife that morning, he said in a venomous tone: "well CHuck you Farley, what makes you think you're so Muckin' Fuch you Bun-of-a-Sitch!?" sadly he wasn't joking. what a christ-like personality. good thing they picked someone like him to give the memorial talk.

SPAZ

LOL @ Elsewhere - wouldn't it be nice!

Hyghlandyr - amen to making up yer own rules!

*still fuming* Liquidizer/MackOz- that really BITES.

Grrrrrrrr.

sweetone2377

That is truely sad. I can just imagine what serge of varying emotions ran through this man.

BTW, when I was DF'd in 1997, procedure (as explained to me by the men on the power trip) was that I was to sit in the back, near the door. I was to wait in the car. I had my watch set by the KH clock. My dh (not baptized then) would come out and let me know just when they started (as they were always fellowshipping well past starting time). I was not to come in untill the opening prayer was over and had to leave before the closing prayer. I do not recall the Memorial that year. I'm not sure if I was allowed to handle the emblems or not. But the sitting in the back row near the door....I do remember that all DF'd or even those who had been either publicly or privately reproved were required to sit in the back row. As if we all had leprosy or something.

Now, how things are done now, I don't know. I can only imagine that they have gotten worse.

Shelly
Former victim and recovering wonderfully from a broken spirit
Smile, because we all have been freed from slavery!!

Pierced Angel

That's truly disgusting.
I was there only because of my mother. I am disassociated and I ended up sitting in the front row and I was the first person on our side to be handed the bread and wine, so I guess it maybe depends on the people or congregation. Either way, it was wrong, but t hen again, so is the whole religion in my opinion.

Anne

Outrageous memorial experience sigh