Oh dear,reading these comments, makes me weep with shame and guilt, and brings home to me just how destructive it is for children in this organisation,and I was one of those very parents who imposed those beliefs on small children believing implicitly that this was indeed the "truth" and the best "education" I could give to a child, and,....I was wrong,very very wrong. Theres no good saying sorry now because its done and cant be undone,but it will never change how I feel about what I did to my children in the name of love. We did believe that this was the truth and we did belive that we were serving God,but actualy we were serving the elders and the rest of that congregation,there were times when we went against our own natural instincts as parents,such as birthdays and xmas and school disco,s and all those other things that vulnerable little children need and enjoy,remember that phrase" your better with no friends than friends in the world" no wonder our children lived "double" lives,who could blame them,the poor things. We all survived and my children are lovely, confident,sucessful young people who were much kinder and more loving than us and when we said how sorry we were for what we had imposed on them for years,well,they said "look Mum and Dad,dont worry,were all fine we all love each other and were still all together" God Im so lucky I realy am,but if I had my time over again I would bring my children up without the damaging toxic influence of any religeon,love is what makes children grow,just love,thats all. So everybody,here is one set of parents who recognised EVENTUALY their love may have been sincere but it was sincerely misguided. So young people,were sorry to you all and one day your Mums and Dads may be writing you just such a letter,try and be kinder to them that they have been to you,hatred is wearying and you die a little bit more every time you let it chip away at you ,I know this,but because of all of you on this very forum I have stopped hating those people who were so vile to us,and were recovering as a family. Thanks everyone realy thanks so much.
Growing up as a JW was a form of mental abuse for me
by Miss Fitt 47 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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Band on the Run
There is nothing to add to these eloquent descriptions. My mom had her true self where no Witnesses could report her. School was my salvation. It was my great escape. They were RC and memorized their catechism. I could never preach to them. They thought that the Witnesses were not Christian. There were competing ethnic RC churches so I could attend the other church. My mom said I spontaneously cried my soul out to go to school at three. She escorted my bro and I to elite free library and teaching college preschools. I think it was Romper Room. I loved kids my age
The whole gang of neighborhood kids hung out all day andearly evg. in our park
There wete free programs. It was so much fun. I recallboldly leaving my block to investigate what kids wete playing. Meetings were hell. Conventions let me see other kids in agony. Assemblies included my relatives KH so they treated me to ice cream.My father punished us w no sweets so I sold my soul for ice cream and not being abusef.ew
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JakeM2012
I appreciate all the personal experiences,.. this has helped me. I'm 50 and remember having to take a note home from my first grade teacher to my mother that said I was not allowed to bring any more books (Truth Books, etc) to other students or use the class to as an audience to "preach to . It was totally embarrassing. I wish I had a copy of the letter, my mom probably used it for an experience of how the world was persecuting her children.
The issue didn't go away when I went to music class because during times of the year the class would sing "seasonal" songs, but I had to personally explain to the teachers that I couldn't sing certain songs, all of this is in front of the class or at least where they could hear. We were instructed at the KH and by parents to not just sing but to give an explanation of why. This was all before any JW Education brochures.
I also had to personally explain to the teachers why I wouldn't salute the flag, or say the pledge and just stand, the National Anthem you remain seated. Here again, we just couldn't not say the pledge, we had to give an explanation as to why.
Some might incorrectly argue that this made me strong; but it just made me feel like I did not belong in society and like an ass. When I was in fourth grade I remember being asked by a student that lived in the neighborhood if I wanted to play catch. Just throwing the ball back and forth. My brother turned me into my parents for "associating with worldly people". My mom bought me a net that would bounce the ball back to me, therefore, I would not have to associate with worldly people again.
When I was in high school I had a friend that asked me over to his house so we could ride horses, as his family had several. (We both lived in the country) My dad protested and forbid me going because it was with a worldly person. I asked him outright, "Dad, do you go to lunch with some of the contractors that you work with"? and I named specific names. He eventually let me go ride horses. Unfortuneatly, even if you were "permitted" to go, you had a guilty conscience and couldn't just enjoy the situation, as you were in the midst of horible "worldly people". The Witness attitude affected everything.
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gorgia2
Reading everyone's experiences during a JW childhood has been comforting for me - thank you - I was one of those children who fit neither in the 'world' or in the KH. I yearned to have the simple freedoms of the kids at school. I used to wonder why I was considered 'bad association' by age ten at the KH.
Books and music were my escape. I read here others found solace in books too and I am so glad.
gorgia
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Sobeit
Appreciate that is not easy to relive such sadness, but these childhood experiences needs to be told
In hopes that they will not be repeated.
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Heartofaboy
Hi Jake, do you remember being told at conventions, 'You young ones at school, you have a unique territory to bear witness in & start bible studies'.
Did you hear the 'experiences' at conventions & read in the mags of the uber JW kids having bible studies with friends at school & their teachers being soooo impressed with the WT book they decided they just had to use them in the cirriculum?
And then the headmaster read the book & said EVERONE in the school should have this Watchtower book & bought one for each pupil..............so this uber JW kid placed hundreds of books & we had to feel encouraged to do the same.
How useless did it make you feel when you tried to do as the borg suggested & witness at school & it went tits up & alienated you from the teachers & other pupils even more?
Pretty wretched didn't it & as georgia says above you felt you didn't fit in with the JWs because of being such a failure at witnessing nor did you fit in with the world & this is has such a negative effect on a child.
At one convention the district overseer said to all the kids that they should try to start bible studies with their friends & if they refuse to study you should seriously consider if the other kid was a suitable 'form of association'.
The kids were advised to end the friendship.
Some of my siblings did just as they were told & now as adults looking back deeply regret listening & obeying this advice from the borg.
Another thing a kid shouldn't have to worry about is being TORTURED & PERSECUTED.
The end was always soooo close & persecution could start at any time & 'when they turn on true religion brothers & sisters.....ARE YOU PREPARED FOR IT??
Surely this was mentally abusive to the little kids sat hearing this, I know it was a perpetual worry for me.
And the only way to survive was to STUDY STUDY STUDY the 'spiritual food on offer from the borg, how will God bring it to your mind when you need it to endure the very difficult times ahead if you haven't STUDIED BROTHERS'
And the little JW kids are exposed to all this at the meetings & conventions whether they are colouring in their little books or holding their teddy the things said are heard by them & it is very frigthening.
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Number 6
All those experiences her pretty much mirror my own.
Being at school as a JW was a long list of things we couldn't do. Every opportunity that presented itself was one where we would look wierd and stand out as odd.
Physical intimidation was largely absent [thank goodness] however there was the daily running the gauntlet of jibes, remarks,snide comments and the general feeling of being disheartened about what the day would bring.
My ar*ehole of a stepfather also used to take the greatest of delight in dragging me round territory in the FS knowing I would be brought literally face to face with school mates, if not at their doors then certainly out in the street. It was pure hell.
Trussed up like a chicken on a hot sunny sunday afternoon seeing the looks of contempt on school mates faces, knowing that in some 24hrs I would be facing comments and ridicule at school. And unlike my school mates, my step father was not shy at lifting his hands for his percieved infringement of watchtower rules.
Our parents should hang their heads in shame for what they put us through.
Craig
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Heartofaboy
My parents do feel ashamed Craig, they are beside themselves with regret for putting their kids through a JW upbringing.
I'm sad for them to be in their last few years & have so many regrets over the life they wasted serving the WBTS.
They have told me they would never do it again & wonder at how they were so gullible to believe the JW's knew the 'truth'.
It has been a long hard struggle for them over the years & the Watchtower organisation has been a harsh master.