Could always put an SOS letter in the magazines you place. Something along the lines of "I came to your door and gave you these magazines against my will. If I don't do it I may lose my family".
Who still goes to meetings and out in field service?
by SloppyJoe 33 Replies latest jw friends
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inbetween
well, another elder here, doing the absolute minmum without raising suspicion yet. Like to quit, but while working on my wife, it seems better to stay in "position". Over the time, i had some sucess, but not enough to come forward as "secret apostate".
While waiting for the right time, I try to get through time wasting meetings and FS. Meetings get interesting as i try to figure out all the fallacies, hypocritical statements and pure nonsense. In the meantime, i try to use the flip/flop of some WTS teachings for the advantage of some brothers. Fotunately our BOE is not hard core, and sometimes I could convince them to a more liberal viewpoint. Of course, all this is merely a little drop in the fire.
I still feel also gulty soemtimes, for even through my being in, still promote this cult. Then again, I feel like being held hostage, and have no other choice, if I want my family to remain intact.
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SloppyJoe
How do you guys serving as elders deal with judicial matters?
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Phizzy
Is your family really "intact" with you living a lie within theri midst? unable to speak your mind with them ?
Man up and speak, and make them defend their beliefs, and defend their love for you by not rejecting you, just because you doubt that which they cannot defend.
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respectful_observer
We are still regular meeting attenders. My other half, although not "awake", doesn't really like going to the meetings and finds them even more of a chore than I do, which makes it easy when "better offer" comes along-- friends from out of town, a brunch invite from non-JW friends, beach weather...you get the idea.
As for service, we're techinically "low hour publishers" TM on paper, but in reality we haven't been out door-to-door in almost 3 years. Thankfully, no one seems to really notice, or is willfully blind to the situation. We're well-liked in the hall, good speakers and regular, eloquent commenters, so we've been able to fly under the radar for quite a while now. My other half never complains about getting to sleep late on the weekends, but will occassional express feelings of guilt around this.
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SloppyJoe
As for me I manned up years ago and realized it was going no where. With the latest watchtower changes my family has already talked about how exciting and neat the changes are. I used to go round and round with my parents about how the GB was the real Faithful and discreet slave because they decide everything anyway. I was told that is not true and anyone of the annointed can write articles and submit teachings through the watchtower. Now that they changed it to what I said 10 years ago, the response was, I always thought it should be this way just like I thought the generations teaching was incorrect in the 90s. Bear in mind my mother and eye had a long discussion in probably 1993 about how 1994 had to be the end due to the generations teaching. I am sure this is how most conversations go with J dubs. I actually find it to be pointless and a waste of time to even try to talk about it. It goes no where and as long as they can rationalize that the light is getting brighter and are excited about new thoughts, there is nothing that can be done. It truly is easier to let them live in their world and live in my own without their knowledge of it.
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BU2B
Also I am unable financially to leave. If we were to split due to the great rift this would cause, I would have to work 2+ jobs just to make it, leavfing what time for me to see my daughter? She would continue to be raised as a JW. At least as long as I am around I can inject some sanity into my family. I must wake them up, as she gets older I cannot be a hypocrite and teach her things I know are wrong. It seems that I am in a no win situation. No good way out. I plan to study the nulite with my wife for family worship soon, and plan to feel her out, how she feels about the changes, then using open ended questions to hopefully help her think. Its my next attempt to help her break free of the mind control, if just a little bit.
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problemaddict
It is facinating to see all of the faders and how they deal with it. It really is.
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Quendi
Reading the experiences of those who are fading on this thread has given me much to think about. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to remain with this cult when you know you can no longer support any of its practices and teachings. The additional pressure that you must feel from other family members must be very difficult to endure. I am glad that I got out when I did. I was disfellowshipped and finally abandoned all efforts to be reinstated after five years of trying. The day I finally turned my back on Jehovah’s Witnesses was a very happy one for me.
Still, I can’t completely understand how a man can serve as an elder in this execrable organization. How can you serve on a judicial committee in good conscience? What do you say to someone asking for counsel and expecting it to be given in Witness-speak? How can you give public talks defending the basic teachings of the WTS? I for one couldn’t do anything of this nature and would have to ask for my deletion from the BOE. I understand how the expectations of family members may play a part in the decision to be an elder, but this is your life we’re talking about and not somebody else’s. Staying on as an elder would not lead a man to happiness if he no longer believes in the cult.
I don’t mean to be hyper-critical of those who are fading because each one of us must find his own way out if that is his wish. And some stay on precisely to help their family members whom they love dearly and deeply. But it seems to me that it is one thing to stay in for family or fade quietly and quite another to serve as an officer for this cult, either as a ministerial servant, an elder or some other capacity. How long can you do so before being asked to do something or take part in an action that you should have nothing to do with?
Quendi
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Phizzy
I was a lover of Truth, with a honed conscience when I was in, honed, not by the WT, but what I determined to be right.
I stopped giving Public Talks when it took me too long going through all the WT outlines to find a subject that I could speak on with a clear conscience, even then I had to scrap a lot of what the outline said, so I stopped doing them.
Shortly after I resigned as an "appointed man".
Then I really began to wake up, until finally I realised that someone such as me who loved Truth and his fellowman could have nothing more to do with the Tower of Lies.
To constantly live under the pressure of being like a Spy in a foreign land is not good for ones mental and physical health, to go against your own conscience is to deny who you are, and it is to submit thoroughly to the Cult.
They've got you, they own all of you.