First post (page 3)

skeeter1

Onlly teach your children to believe in what you believe in. If you have doubts, then don't teach it to them. Or, tell them that "Daddy & mommy are not sure..."

Life does not have to be absolute. Isn't that what the JWs try to teach, absolute certainty? Everything is pretty much black or white, and the indiviuals in the group fear straying from the group's deemed prinicpals. The Society tells you that your and their life depends on you teaching them as the Watchtower Society has decided the Bible to be. Chess game is evil. College is evil. National Honor Society is evil.

I tell my children all the time that I don't know all of the answers, and that life holds many mysteries. I warn them to beware of anyone who thinks they have the all-knowing answer.

I met with a psychologist who speciliazes in helping people out of high control/cultish religions. Know what he said? There are two rules in running a cult. The first rule is: 1) the leader(s) must first convince a convert that they speak for God (or the most high form of fill in the blank) ; and then 2) the followers must sit down, shut up, or else. The "or else" is that they face punishment by the group. The fear of non-obediance runs very high, causing pyschosis for not being able to reach the leadership's almost impossible goals of purity and blind allegiance. Know what else he said? I was born in, raised in too. He said that I would always feel, "like a stranger in a strange land." I didn't have a 'normal' to revert to. He said it would be normal for anyone raised in one of these groups who leaves to feel that way. So, when I feel like I don't fit in, I accept it and move on with my life.

As far as your children. If you do stay near the JWs, please don't allow them with ANY JW alone. I'm sure you figured out the pedophile issues inside the Kingdom Hall.

Welcome,

Skeeter

Newly Enlightened

Welcome to forum, glad to have you here with us. Yes, just vent here, most were in the Borg for years and will be happy to support you and we truly do understand what you are going thru.

Hubby [Brother of the Hawk] & I were both JW's for 43+ years, raised in it, so believe me we understand! We even survived the 1975 fiasco! Our daughter Shyla [Gojira_101] is on here also, she was a born-in and in it for 29 years.

Peace be with you on your journey.

EastCoastMindFree

skeeter1 you hit the nail on the head with the feeling of not belonging and in a strange land, I really wonder if I will ever feel "normal" or whatever that means, we have much to lose but that is why I am fading and I do not plan on being activly against or anything like that because I respect peoples decisions they make in life. But I do truly in my heart know that this is a man made organization and Im halfway through reading Crisis of Conscience which is a huge mind opener and basically affirms the doubts I already had.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

steve2

I really wonder if I will ever feel "normal" or whatever that means,

Good point EastCoastMindFree. It's sobering to keep in mind that the difficulties that are experienced by those raised in the religion who leave it are similar to reports of the difficulties experienced by those raised in any strict religious organization. If you look up websites of ex-Christadelphians or ex-Mormons you'll see similar stories of adjustment difficulties. I recall reading in the news media a few years ago about the significant troubles that ex-Amish have when they try to adjust to living in the secular world after having been raised in Amish communities.

The longer I have been out of the organization, the more I realize that what I had originally thought was unique to the JWs is not that unique at all.

LostGeneration

Hey EastCoaster!

Good to hear you have been fading for two years already...usually people are only gone a month or two and they come here because they are getting the riot act from family or the elders. Sounds like you are pretty much on the way out without too much trouble.

Keep thinking of your children as you make your decisions. If my parents had balls, they would have left in the late 70's after the whole 1975 scam. Instead, I was subjected to a JW lifestyle through my teens, and I unfortunately bought into it and didn't leave until 5 years ago.

Opportunity cost is my biggest regret. Every hour, day, month, and year spent as a JW is one lost in the real and beautiful world that surrounds us. Don't allow your children to waste precious time in a man made cult! Damn the consequences, whatever they may be, live your life for yourself and your children, enjoy each and every day how YOU want, not how some stooges in NYC say!

Aunt Fancy

Welcome! I live on the east coast too. You are very fortunate that your wife is by your side and you escaped at a young age before your children are indoctrinated. You are doing the right thing by not going back. If you feel the need to have religion in your life do some research and choose one that isn't a cult or high control. The more you read you will realize that most of the main doctrines they teach are false. It takes awhile to get that "crap" out of your head but just keep reading and researching.

smiddy

Welcome eastcoast

You havent said whether your wife is on board with you or not and this could affect what advise is given to you.Much easier for you if she is , much harder for you if she is not. " Captives Of A Concept " by Don Cameron is what did it for me. Glad to have you on board

smiddy

Fernando

Religion and the "Good News" are mutually exclusive.

(Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

OnTheWayOut

I don't know your family situation, but fading is difficult with JW family and raising your children "normally." The kids can't help but tell grandparents about birthdays and holidays and the JW family feel an overwhelming obligation to train the kids about "Jehovah" even behind your back.

Make the kids your priority no matter if it forces issues. Don't cave in to some JW training and outlawing birthdays or normal kid activities to appease family or elders. Expect to lose JW friends.

Sorry for the rough straightforward delivery. People need to hear how hard it will be. You could be DF'ed for allowing normalcy in your kids lives. Do it anyway.

That's my opinion. Welcome to the forum. People here can help you through it.

First post

Share this