Off to tell the family...

Gypsy Sam

The day I've been waiting for is here. I'm flying home to see family and some old friends, most of whom are JW. Since learning TTATT a few months back, I came to the decision I would have to tell my parents that we are no longer active and don't have any plans to return. I'm planning to keep the focus on the fact I can't In Good conscience witness any longer. Based on the child abuse policy that continues to protect a pedofile over a child, I have to take this stand for my own peace of mind. I'm aware of jwfacts and other sites. While I only plan to keep it on a few topics and stick asking questions, instead of telling them things, I'm a bit concerned what their reaction might be. My teenager is completely unconvinced organized relgion can possibly be the only way, so we are united in a sense. Whatever the outcome, I have a good network of unconditional friends so I have good support. There are several inactive members in my extended family and while I'm not sure of their reasons, they aren't being shunned. The key seems to be not pointing out too many errors or conflicting info regarding "the society". Wish me LUCK, lol. Tips welcome.

Carpe Diem!

crmsicl

Wishing you a successful visit.

I think your plan on asking questions to them is good.

When they ask you the probing questions try to turn it around with a question. Awhile back a poster gave some examples of this strategy.

Kool Jo

This is a bold step, well i wish you all the very best....thankfully you have friends outside the cult that will be there for you regardless.

Peace

Kool Jo

Narcissistic Supply

An exciting journey.

Be Strong!

adamah

Good luck!

Be sure to stay away from presenting your CONCLUSIONS (ie what you've decided), but present, and ask questions (think of the Socratic method).

Remember that in the end, you have no responsibility to save anyone else (aside from your own immediate family): you didn't create the dynamic, but you only are able to control one person: yourself. Your distant family are ADULTS who need to make the proper decision under their own steam, and won't see any "truths" that they're not ready to see for themselves.

Adamah

problemaddict

Well normally I would advise against this, but I think your mind is pretty made up, and it isn't unique in your family. HAveing other support, and your wife and kid on your side is EVERYTHING. So good on ya.

Good luck in the conversation. Remember whatever the "reason" you give them, there is simply no such reason. it might be good to start out vague. Does that make sense.

"I feel the GB has just kind of been overstepping their bounds recently."

"I feel like we have ignored some of the more unpleasent parts of our history and I have many questions about that."

"I think our internal policies on certain things can damage family relationships, fail to protect abuse victims, and even cost someone their life depending on what is being taught as current that year. So my conscience is accusing me, and I am stepping away from the religion of my youth to try to understand Jehovah better."

I of course don't know if any of this is accurate, but if you do get into specifics, its best that THEY be the ones to ask you about them. If you strike first with details, it is easier for them to shut down. When they ask you for it, it can be a different reaction.

Just my 2 cents. Keep us updated on how it goes!

Glander

If you are staying in their home during your visit it might get awkward if you drop the news on them as soon as you arrive. Know what I mean?

Timing might be important if you don't have a plan B for coping with an instant shunning.

Let us know how it goes. Hell, you might get them all out!

Good wishes, Gypsy Sam

DesirousOfChange

"I feel the GB has just kind of been overstepping their bounds recently."

Or you could try: I feel the GB has just kind of been overlapping their bounds recently."

Doc

skeeter1

I had to tell my parents that I didn't beleive in the Truth. I started out with showing them the misquotes and outright laughing at the 1914 change. I accomplished insulting them, insinuating they were stupid because they beleived in a religion that was stupid.

So, if I could do it all over again . . .

I would start the conversation with thanking them for being your parents, for the loving guidance, etc.

Then, I would segway into their own choice to leave the religion of their youth to become a JW. I would repeat how they saw too many problems in the other religion, and found comfort in this one. Then, I would remind them that that is fine for their decision.

Then, I would simply state that I found too many things wrong with the JWs, and the Governing Body is not a leadership that you want to follow verbatim. If the parents wanted to know more, I'd simply refuse to tell them at this point. Perhaps in a month, you can tell them one of your issues with the JW church. In other words, take it slowly. Don't turn your back on God, but just state that you don't believe the Governing Body is carrying on Jehovah's work.

I applaud you. To thine own self be true, and thou can't not be false to any man.

Gojira_101

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Shyla

Off to tell the family...

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