A wasted life. (page 2)

DesirousOfChange

LISA ROSE - There is a saying I love, "Its never too late to be what you might have been".

That's a great attitude to have (or try to develope)!

Doc

Crazyguy: Most people who pass through this world have essentially wasted lives, IMHO. How many people with brain power similar to Einstein's have spent their lives carrying water or digging in the ground with sticks just to survive another day? How many people have died young in wars, accidents, and of horrible diseases? The average life span in ancient Rome was about 27 years.

When you put things into perspective, you are one of the lucky ones. As LisaRose pointed out, at 46, you're still young enough to start over. You are probably in good health and have enough food and clothing. You may even own your own home. You're so lucky!

Set goals. Start living for today instead of lamenting the past.

I have had many failures in life, but I can't blame the Watchtower for all of them. I just pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.

This moment is precious. Live in it!

gypsygirl

Well said Mum!.... and all of you who mention that it is never too late or "it's how you play the cards".......soo true. Crazyguy: your story is my story, altho' my interests were a little different. I was ambitious and smart and could have gone far had I been given the opportunity for more education or support in exploring my interests. However as a JW I ended up dropping out of highschool to get married at 16, and had a child by 18. (When I was young, many of the the JWs were getting married young in our area).

I am now in my mid 50's and have only been away from the WT for 12 yrs. Since then I have gone to Japan and toured with a dance troupe, gotten my GED and went to school and became a licensed vet tech, started my own pet sitting service which became large enough that I was able to quit working for other people, taken belly dance lessons and became involved with some performing, become involved with a city choir, and most recently I've gone through some extensive training that enables me now to facilitate workshops for people who need to build their self esteem, and learn to change their thinking so that their thoughts are mostly positive, and to just be able to have more love for themselves and others. The past several years have been a whirlwind of exploration and learning and new experiences. I'm not saying that any of this has been as easy as it would have been had I been younger, but I am here to say that it was worth the effort and had I stopped to think about what most people my age were doing, I might not have done any of it.

As for your kids, I wish you all the best and just want to say HAVE PATIENCE with them. And the best thing to remember when you are being faced with an unpleasant situation is to just have and show UNCONDITIONAL LOVE........something we as JWs were never shown.

My kids are now grown (4 of them) and all now xJWs. Each one of them have issues surrounding their childhood, which causes me pain and regret. They have to figure out what they need in life in order to move on and I can only offer my support and love. I cannot take back the damage that has been done but can only go forward each day. They all know and understand that I was only doing what I knew how to do (or was told I should do) and the time. I didn't know any better.

Be brave, be strong, go forward in life with fire and intention. Like the saying, "Live like theres' no tomorrow!" There are plenty of years left for you.

Hugs to you.

His Excellency

bump

rebel8

It's pretty normal to go through a phase of, "omg, I wasted so much time." And that phase might last a while.

When those thoughts and feelings come, just recognize them for what they are--a stage in healing.

NewYork44M

Remember that everything up to this moment is over. Dwelling on the past wastes your future. Get over it, move on, and have a successful life. Life is so fleeting you can't spend too much time in the past.

Success is the best revenge.

jgnat

I recommend The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life by Philip G. Zimbardo, John Boyd.

Living in regret for a short while is OK. Marinating in it will just drag you down. I'm a former battered wife and single parent. I set aside educational hopes to raise my little family. That's a twenty year bite. I could ponder my regrets or choose to live with zest now.

A wasted life.