AVOIDING A SHEPHERDING CALL: Suggestions pls (page 3)

Oubliette

Besides not going to meetings, is there anything they could have on you for a possible JC? That'd make a difference in how you handle avoiding them.

Also, do have family still in? Do you need to fade quietly or can you just tell them to F-off?

grumblecakes

i dont think they have any intel for a jc.

i have a bit of family in and one other reason i need to fade quietly

You know some elders care. YOU can use this to help your fade. Tell them you've been suffering depression and being at meetings don't enourage you, but further expose how bad you are at pleasing Jehovah. Tell them you've started medication and that you'll be back as you can.

Or any variation of this.

The point is, avoiding the call can cause red flags, but taking it and overwhelming them with how low you feel will usually cause them to try to encourage you then leave you be.

never a jw

"I am gonna be very busy the entire month. Thanks. Some other time". Just don't detail what your activities will be (watch TV, play video games, etc)

Comatose

Just don't ever go back! Nows the perfect time. If they are already freaking out then it can't get worse and will only get better from here.

Aunt Fancy

Going to a meeting is going to put you back on the radar. If you just don't answer the phone or door they will give up. I wouldn't go back because they are controlling you. It will get to the point where they will only try to contact you when the CO is in town, during the Memorial season and the DC.

Hortensia

I do think that if I were in the situation and the elders sat in a car outside waiting to catch me as I left, I would call the police and report suspicious activity.

zed is dead

Listen to what UnConfused told you. Depression is the best way to avoid them.

zed

smiddy

I know its alright for me to say now, that I have been out these past 20 years or so ,why do people put themselves through so much stress when confronted with a shepherding call from a jehovahs witness ? In my day we didnt have the internet and its encyclopeadic information available to us ,exposing false doctrines,flip flops,wrong expectations etc,etc.As a previous post said why cant you be honest and state your true feelings ?Is it worth the deception ,lying,not being truthfull,hedging what your true feelings are to hold onto a relationship with family members who would disown you in a flash if they knew how you really felt ?Are you content to be a victim of this cult ?Are you content to be a captive of this cult because of family members who will cut you off if they knew how you really feel.

Not just you ,but people in similar circumstances to you need to analyze who is the victim here.

smiddy

grumblecakes

for everyone who just suggested:

'just walk away, why do you care' 'just get out of the cult ' ect..

i know, id llike too. its not that simple.

for most of us, our lives are entangled (jobs, housing, ect) with jws. it takes time and careful manuvering to disentangle.

AVOIDING A SHEPHERDING CALL: Suggestions pls

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