My August Update (page 3)

OnTheWayOut

Laverite, I relate. My JW mother goes to R-rated movies with her UBM, she has always allowed another non-JW family member to make medical decisions for loved ones to avoid the blood issue. My in-law family is made up of people who were DF'ed for years and others who waited until retirement to become baptized. None of them is UBER- that's why they were upset when our nephew all-of-a-sudden wanted to be UBER-JW instead of going to college.

I suppose I am saying that I am free to be myself (almost) and let my wife waist a small part of her week every week going to cult-training.

Most of my problems with her remaining a JW come from two things- the organization preventing people from growing and thinking for themselves, and the fact that no matter how much someone detaches themself, they can always be reeled back in by some doctrinal changes or some spin on world events. Heck, even Flipper went back after Sept. 11th before he learned TTATT.

I will continue to encourage personal growth in my wife and hope for the best.

OnTheWayOut

So while I was gone at work all day on Thursday, my wife got the guilt bug and realized she had zero hours halfway through the month and went out in recruiting with some of her cult friends. Her guilt carried over to the weekend. On Friday, she said she was going to go to the local English Convention to pick up the Saturday session she had missed.

Saturday morning rolled in and her guilt wasn't strong enough. She hit snooze on the alarm quite a few times. When I finally said "Aren't you very late?" she said she didn't feel well. You parents can relate to this one- she piled on too much. She said "My knee hurts and I feel sick from swimming in chlorine yesterday." A while later, she wanted to go out for breakfast, but then kind of remembered that she was too sick and changed her mind.

Sunday morning (right now)- she is supposed to go back out there for recruiting. She turned off her alarm and asked me to wake her in 15 or 20 minutes.

Oh, the turmoil of doing what you hate to appease Jehovah Watchtower.

confusedandalone

OnTheWayOut - CONGRATS!

Hopefully this is the beginning of a new beginning. I would think nothing could be more troubling internally for her then to struggle to do something she really doesn't like to do in front of you, when she knows that you know she knows what she is doing (I have never in my life typed somethign so confusing).

Regardless lets hope this is the beginning

flipper

OTWO- Thanks for the update. Somehow this thread escaped my attention when you put it out. I'm amazed that your wife went to your aunt's birthday party. Good for your wife and for you ! It shows she is not as strict as she may have once been years ago. I think they used a term about JW's being influenced by " worldly " ( LOL ) attitudes at an assembly one time as " gradualism " in how some JW's will gradually veer away from WT Society rules and regulations. ( WT Society always made up these weird sayings and words ) I'm glad your wife's DC car group was full so she decided to go with you !

When you asked her to , " Tell me what they are doing. " That was brilliant on your part. It forces her to think about the fact that like most JW's - she doesn't have the foggiest notion in hell what WT leaders are doing because it's nver fully disclosed to Witnesses anyway ! So in her own thoughts without admitting it to you she may think " good question OTWO asked me. I wonder what the GB IS doing ? Why don't they tell us ? "

If she can start asking hersel questions like that it may get her to thinking WITHIN herself- even though she may not admit it yet to you. Good job buddy. Keep the good work up. You're doin' good. I'll give you a call sometime soon

humbled

I am just impressed at the tenderness of your responses to your wife. You could use many of the moments when she is vulnerable to criticism through her inconsistent actions to sling zingers at her. But you don't. And it is evident that she trusts you emotionally. I am happy for the both of you.

Maeve

OnTheWayOut

confusedandalone, don't worry. I understood your thought. But did you understand that I understood? I guess I didn't know if you knew what I knew.

Flipper, great to hear from you. Thanks for your thoughts.

Humbled, I have thrown some zingers out there in the past. It's best not to, in this case. For me, zingers would have made me think of comebacks and could have helped awaken me to TTATT. But not the wife.

Mum

OTWO: I'm glad she's getting some experience mixing with "worldly" people. She is, I hope, perceptive enough to realize that they are all individuals and not as scary as they have been painted by the WT. Congratulations on your progress with her.

It's a cross you have to bear, not bare:

Bear (noiun): an animal

Bear (verb): to carry

Bare (adjective): naked

Bare (verb): to unclothe, make naked

OnTheWayOut

Mum, she does well now with many "worldly" friends. I was just trying to improve my English with bear/bare. Thanks for the help.

exwhyzee

OTWO...Hi J.

The fact that she didn't want to go to the Assembly without company is very "telling" and is indication of how much the social aspect of the religion is really what is keeping her "in". From what you say, it seems like she is satisfied with her circle of friends and the details of the doctrine don't seem to matter that much . It seems like she only cares that the "big chunks" make sense and that her circle of friends remains constant for the momemt.

OnTheWayOut

Yes, Exwhyzee. That is what I say. That only gives me the longhaul hope of things changing with her social circle.

My August Update

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