Fading ... Do You Owe Witness Friends An Explanation?

by What Now? 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  jgnat

  I've always thought that Blondie has great balance for these sorts of things. One way she sifts the wheat from the chaff is if a supposed friend mentions that they miss you, remind them that the door swings both ways and she can always call you up to go out for coffee. In fact, before you hand out any more explanations, go for coffee first. If they refuse to go to that much effort, you have to ask yourself if they are interested in you or your news.

  Every exiting Witness should include things to add to their life, not just take away. If you love entertaining in your home, start getting to know your natural neighbours and have a little "do" at your home. Maybe join a community cooking class. Find some new friends.
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  Aunt Fancy

  You find out real quick that most of them are conditional friends and you don't owe them a thing. It is amazing she deleted you right away when all you told her was that you were having trouble, that is what you call a "real friend"! I too would be upset that the gossip has gotten out of hand because at this point they are lies but realize the source and they aren't worth it.

  You have a great way of making new friends and that is through your children. Get them involved in sports and activities that they weren't allowed to before and you will meet plenty of people. It is hard to meet new people but take every opportunity to do it. Also get involved in something you love and that way you have something in common with others.

  Hang in there because it is a roller coaster ride but it does get better the further away you get.
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  ThomasCovenant

  I didn't fade.

  I explained to the two couples that we were close to that I didn't believe a word of it anymore, after my research, and that our relationship would no longer be able to continue, due to the fact that they would continue being Witnesses and I wouldn't.

  I suppose I was the one to cut them off and out of my life.

  The one couple suggested I was suffering from depression and that was the last we had to do with them.

  The other couple said they wouldn't judge us but I knew it wouldn't work.

  That was about 9 years ago.

  I feel honest about myself.

  I saw them both at a funeral recently at the Kingdom Hall and we all chatted and laughed as normal.

  Probably it could be said my friendship was just as conditional as theirs.

  My friendship was based on them being honest and principled.

  When I told my parents that I was leaving I explained to them that all my former friendships with Witnesses would have to end.

  My parents said ''don't be silly'', but I told them I wouldn't respect them if they did carry on with me, as they would be going against the very belief system that they allegedly followed.

  To be honest with myself, then 'Yes' I did feel I owed an explanation to my friends to explain why I was no longer going to continue with them.
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  Phizzy

  I have thought about this quite a bit recently, I have only given explanations to my close JW family.

  What I would love to say to an active JW is : "I left because my love of Truth and my Bible trained conscience demanded it".

  This throws down a direct challenge to them and their faith in the Org/WT . I don't get to talk to JW's much these days, I am considered a "spiritual danger" LOL, so the opportunity may not arise, but if it does I will throw that one in, not that I feel I "owe" any JW an explanation.