Fading hurts so much!!

ILoveTTATT

Hi!

Yet another update on my story:

For various reasons, I still have to go to all meetings. (I am looking to change my personal circumstances to allow me to live somewhere else so I can fade easier)... I actually don't mind going to the mid-week meeting since I can comment on the Bible reading, and slowly but surely I can introduce little seeds of cognitive dissonance... making it seem like I am super interested in what the Interlinear says or that people can actually go and check out the manuscripts for themselves online! It takes me a while to think of ways of saying what I want to say without saying it!! "Here is an APPARENT contradiction"... "EVIL APOSTATES WOULD SAY that..."

The rest of the time, though, I need a strong drink after the meetings... to numb my mind a little... the utter nonsense that is said in the meetings makes my blood boil!! I am apalled at the stupidity of humanity!!Knowing TTATT and going to all meetings is just... torture!!

I will start making a plan to fade out, and stick to it!! 1 meeting lost the first month, 2 the second, and so on...

BluesBrother

Comiserations....I have been there and done it, even felt that I had to conduct meeting parts , for a while (I felt such a hypocrite!)

Perhaps the stiff drink would work well before the meeting ?

DesirousOfChange

Circumstances necessitated that I attend yesterday's Public Talk & WT Study.

PT was incoherrent and simiply made broad statements about this being the ONLY TRUE RELIGION without any use of the Bible to back up the point. This guys was not qualified to be doing public speaking. Good voice, good delivery, but cannot compose a message.

WT was simply telling Elders (and thus everyone) to be nice, approachable, friendly, humble guys. Basically telling them to do all the things that none of them are doing. Gag.

Doc

Mum

I like your idea of moving. It worked well for me. No one was knocking at my door or bothering me in any way. Life was paradise!

Hang in there. It gets easier as time goes on.

Vidiot

ILoveTTATT - "Fading hurts so much!!"

If you're still attending all the meetings whilst knowing the Truth about the Truth, you're not fading.

You're a member of the "conscious class".

ABibleStudent

Hi ILoveTTATT, Hang in there and keep on venting on JWN, so that you can successfully fade with your JW family.

When you do move, if you can, go to a congregation that is just outside of the territory that you live, so that the elders will be less inclined to visit and only go for as long as it takes for the old congregation to forward your card.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Comatose

I'm an alcoholic thanks to the religion. Haven't had a drink though now in a long time. Watch the numbing?

adamah

ITTAT,

I wouldn't worry about feeling like a hypocrit: that's part of the religious baggage that you're carrying around, where hypocrisy is a great sin in the Bible. You'll need to reconsider it's worth, since there ARE morally-justifable situations where it's perfectly acceptable to appear hypocritical to others (figuring that out is part of reestablishing healthy personal boundaries).

Fading IS tough, since you're trapped in limbo, neither fish nor fowl. It's a bit like bungy-jumping off a bridge where the person is too paralyzed with fear to jump, but doesn't want to face their peers disappointed faces for NOT jumping, having to take the "walk of shame" back. It's arguably as tough as being shunned (depending on individual circumstances).

Just be careful not to replace one problem (JW cult) with another (alcoholism): both are just different methods of avoiding confronting reality, and life is better served when you're seeing it for what it IS, not what you WANT it to be.

Adam

jgnat

I attend meetings on occasion too. I make sure it is rare enough to keep me off their radar. Being unbaptized, an "Unbelieving Mate", female, with absolutely no "status" helps too. Meetings don't hurt me. They bore me to death. I think you can move from pain to indifference, too, by detaching yourself mentally.

My blank notebook is my friend. I tune out the talk and write whatever I want. Sometimes a quoted scripture will inspire me and I will dig deeper to see what it really means.
I treat the congregation as a sociological study. Who is on top? Who are relegated to the dustbin? Chat up the marginalized.
I religiously protect my personal space and my privacy. If I am tread on, I tell the offender that it is inappropriate and I don't answer their question.
Empower yourself with your exit plan. Remind yourself that you are no longer chained to the organization, and your freedom is in sight.

By the way, sometimes a comment will move me to righteous indignation. I purge that by giving a handy elder or pioneer sister an earful. Then letting it go. It is okay to be real. People respond to genuineness; even cultists.

Let me know if these tips help.

BU2B

Ilove TATT you have a PM !

Fading hurts so much!!

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