Fading hurts so much!! (page 2)

DATA-DOG

Skip every meeting you possibly can! Service too! I have to be honest with my wife. I tell her that the WTBTS is going to get it for what they are involved in. I say that GOD has always cleaned up " his people " when they get out of line. What can she say?? I tell her that I can't handle the legalism, and won't always go. Hey, it's a start! She even defended me to the Elders! Who knows what will happen, but at some point you have to express your feelings. Once you do, things get a little easier. I am not pressured for " Family Mormon night " as often, and that's good. I even said that I had no problem reading and discussing the Bible, but I would not teach what was false, because that would be doing my family a disservice and would hurt my conscience. So far, so good....

Julia Orwell

Fading does hurt because you are leaving behind something you've known, and people you've known, for years or a lifetime. Your head goes through various stages too: denial, anger, bargaining, depression...before you adjust to a new way of life. Best just to walk away, but not possible if you have family in.

ILoveTTATT

Thank you all!

I have a habit of not writing back, to comment, but this time I will!

@ Blues Brother - Thanks!! Wow, I cannot IMAGINE giving parts on the meeting, thankfully I have a convenient situation now where my cards are in limbo and neither the elders from one hall nor the ones from the second one know where I am... that's good!! However, because of not wanting to dissapoint my GF's family, I still have to pretend that I am a "good JW"... hope to move soon (as soon as I get a job in the other city), but even where I am I want to slowly fade away!

@ DOC - exactly!! I wanted to comment on how mysogynistic (against women) the Bible really is!! The WT gave ONE example of how impartial Jehovah supposedly is, and everyone agreed, but I was shocked at the fact that NO ONE (besides me) thought of the many examples where God clearly discriminated!! If it was a boy - X amount of days of uncleanness, if it was a girl - double. Guy gets killed for touching the Ark, David gets away with adultery and murder, and his kid dies for his (David's) sins!!

@Mum: Yes, I will move ASAP. I need a job first.

@Vidiot: You are right. I am not fading. I need to start to fade.

@BibleStudent: Thank you for your constantly kind words. I think that given my current situation, when I move I will be able to fade at a much faster rate. I will give your suggestions a try.

@Comatose: It was just a figure of speech. I am not planning to get drunk either before or after a meeting. I was just saying how I need some form of stress relief because going to the meetings and holding back your thoughts is very stressful.

@Adamah: Thank you. Like I said to comatose, I was just using a figure of speech. Sorry if I spooked out some. I guess it would have been a LOT worse if I had used the figure of speech "somebody shoot me"... lol... But regardless, I need some sort of healthy stress release. I guess I should go and run (exercise) or watch a movie or do something fun after every meeting. Maybe post on JWN and rant as much as I want and say here what I wanted to say...

@JGNat: You are so lucky!! I guess that I am lucky in a sense since I have had no "priviledges" for some years, I am just a low-to-zero-hour Joe Schmoe publisher. THANK YOU for your suggestions. They are great, and I plan to use them ASAP. I guess I will just read the Bible or something, and bring a notepad to write whatever I want. I am already sitting way in the back so that no one sees me. I am glad that after the meeting I can discuss things with the GF and vent a little with her. I have also noticed the power of one of my comments; I have changed the comments from black-and-white thinking to just a little critical thinking.

@BU2B: I will answer that one privately. Thanks.

@Data Dog: I am skipping service too!! I have successfully done 3 months without reporting because of the "my cards are in limbo" situation. When I am forced to go out in "serve-us" I try to go alone and I pretend I ring the doorbell... Lots of "Not at Homes"!! lol

@Julia Orwell: Fading does not hurt for me because of that. Unless I was fading in the area of the world where I have most of my friends, then it would hurt because of that. It hurts because keeping knowledge to myself is one of the hardest things to do for me!! I feel sorry for humanity to think that so many people, not only in JW but in so many cults, have their lives destroyed because of ignorance and evil people taking advantage of sincere, good people!

Love to you all!

ILTTATT

whathappened

I quite cold turkey, I couldn't stand being inside the Kingdom Hall once I learned ttatt. I am sorry you still have to suffer through those mind numbing meetings.

sarahsmile

Yeah you can only handle the meetings for so long after the fact. It makes me wonder if the majority of the elders and JWs know when people are ready to leave.

Take care

Glander

The well plotted Fade is like removing a big piece of adhesive tape from a hairy part of your body. I am of the "rippitquick" school. Not into the slow peel torture. A drink before and after helps.

jhine

I can't comment on how to fade , but I would say to take encouragement that while you are still attending you are dropping out little seeds that could help someone else to see TTATT . In fact give yourself a big pat on the back , you little resistance fighter , but I will say zis only once !!!

LouBelle

I take my hat off to you that you can still go to meetings...I couldn't and didn't do it. Once I knew TTATT it was too difficult for me to keep my mouth shut.

All the best with your fade.

flipper

ILOVETTATT- I understand how hard it can be. One word of advice- you womn't be able to calm down from the emotional anger you are feeling until you TOTALLY stop attending meetings. You still may have anger even then- but by keeping attending meetings it's like you are unknowingly opening up an open sore and pouring lemon juice into it thus hurting yourself over and over. It's why you are upset.

Here's the deal- once we've come to understand about the WT Society's deception and the TTATT our honesty within us causes us to squirm every time we hear deceptive words come forth from WT representatives- no matter who or where we hear it from. Even just being at meetings - subconsciously even though you disagree with what they are saying- the dangerous mind control techniques implemented can still enter the WT thoughts into your brain causing doubts. If you doubt that it's that influential- how is it then that ex-JW's who have not attended for years 5 years or more will go back, start attending and then get reinstated ? Why didn't they inform thmselves about WT injustices while DFed ? Because they were STILL under the WT mind control influence.

In my opinion- you need to totally get away from meetings if you don't want to be unwittingly drawn back into the mind control. WT mind control IS that strong. Just my opinion from what I've observed in almost 10 years out of the JW cult. Take care. We are here for you, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper

ILoveTTATT

Dear Mr. Flipper:

Totally agreed. I have doubts about the doubts sometimes. When that happens, I sit down and review the facts that I know. To combat the doubts about the doubts, I challenge myself to find more and more stuff that's wrong and verify it for myself. For example, I went to the KH library and looked up the 1969 awake, I have taken pics of the "Studies in the Scriptures" and have seen the actual pagan symbol.

I am reverse witnessing using a pseudonym online. This helps.

Unfortunately, I cannot stop going to the meetings completely. I can make a designed fade. In fact, this week I will miss my first meeting. =)

ILTTATT

Fading hurts so much!!

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