Why are the moms so attached to religion?

by ILoveTTATT 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  ILoveTTATT

  Please don't take this the wrong way, I would love it for women to comment on this thread because I just can't understand something!!

  Here's the pattern I see:

  Mostly guys in here.

  If the guys are married, their wives usually stay a JW, or it takes 3 times as much time to convince a woman to leave than a man.

  If the guys have a JW father, the father is open-minded and can be more easily persuaded to leave. The JW mother stays, even shuns for many years until her death.

  WHY???????

  Why does religion/cults affect women more? Why is it harder for them to be convinced? Maybe guys are convinced by logic (show them doctrinally that JW's are wrong) and women are convinced by emotions (show them that JW's go against basic human emotions like motherly love)?

  Please, don't get me wrong... it's just a pattern I am seeing... If ex-JW women have an idea or insight on this, that would be appreciated!! Maybe the "silver bullet" for guys is different than for women... maybe there has to be a specific book on how to help women to come out of JW's...

  ILTTATT
• 

  Narcissistic Supply

  Men get their balls cut off by the jw's at baptism. Women just want to make each other "feel" good. Maybe men want their balls back. I have no idea why women do what they do. But when a bunch of them get together they have no brain, pretty much. They need the testosterone in the relationship to have any hope of making good decisions.

  Call it whatever you want.
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  jgnat

  I've worked in a nearly all-male environment and I assure you that if you get a load of miners on a school bus, every one of them, their IQ drops 50 points. Double that if they have a woman driver. I think both sexes behave better in a mixed environment.

  Yes, there are more women attending church, all across the board.

  https://www.barna.org/culture-articles/579-christian-women-today-part-1-of-4-what-women-think-of-faith-leadership-and-their-role-in-the-church

  I think it is the woman's interest in family, community, connectedness that drives her to stick it out longer than the man. It just so happens that the WTS is on the more abusive end of the scale.

  There are men's groups dedicated to attracting men to church ministry. Their theory is that churches aren't manly enough.

  Keep in mind that my relationship breaks the "norm" listed above. I'm the "unbelieving mate", even though I attend a church of my own, and my husband is the Witness.
• 

  Frazzled UBM

  I have also been thinking about this one. I had JW knock on the door and as always invited him and his young offsider in and offered them water and had a chat. So he was doing his sales speil and I was tyring to set him straight on a few things and starting talking about how mysogynistic the organistion is and his response was but if that were the case why are the vast majority of Wintesses women. My response was because they are self-loathing but on reflection I don't think that is the answer. I think the answer is that one of the strongest methods the WBTS uses to get and hold on to members is soical and emotional manipulation - making you feel bad if you say or do the wrong thing etc. and I suspect that women are perhaps a bit more susceptible to this than men. I thnk this is an extension of what jgnat refers to as 'connectness' - what the WBTS does is manipulate that need for connectness.
• 

  trebor

  In general, if you ever been in a serious relationship with a woman, there is the understanding there are much stronger emotions tied to even the most instinctual aspects of the relationship (aka sex) than for a man. For example, in the most blatant of terms, many men can just have sex without there being this strong emotional connection or feeling behind it. Many women, on the other hand, most of the time, like to have and feel the love, the emotional, the compassion, and passion behind the love-making.

  You have to consider being a part of the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses as being in an extremely unhealthy and very damaging relationship. Ever see a talk show and wonder why (usually) a woman will stay in an abusive relationship typically more so than a man? It has nothing to do with logic or intelligence, rather women (in general) are in touch with their emotions better and the ties that bind them are stronger.

  Enter what the Watchtower Society controls and/or manipulates - The BITE model:

  Behavior
  Information
  Thought
  Emotional

  While there is an emotional section specifically designated, a person's behavior is strongly tied to their emotional state as well as information and your thoughts can be of an emotional nature. Having the Watchtower control and manipulate emotions the way it does, many men may be able to just disregard or tuck away much of the emotional grief or loss associated with the Society being wrong, for women, for many of them, you're taking about never seeing family, friends, presently and the future "promise" of the Watchtower's interpretation of a paradise on earth with the living and dead loved ones again - The emotional grief may be just too much as the emotional investment was much greater for them; not that men don't have the same losses or feelings - Just that it is stronger, deeper, and more encompassing for women in many cases.

  Again, in general, the emotional connection and bondage is much stronger for a woman - As would be the heartache and loss on an emotional level. Ever heard of someone dying of a broken heart? It happens.

  Not to forget also the organization 'cripples' women like they should be viewed in a 1950's sitcom. They do not give the illusion or feeling of power to women as they do to men (This ironically enough helps in a small way to leave the Society). They condition women to believe you need to look to their leaders. Even at the bottom of the barrel, men are "at least" the head of a woman in any adult relationship and interaction (Including preaching door to door, prayer, and decision making). All those subtle and not-so subtly items, consciously and subconsciously, bubble to the surface when you’re going to make, or think about making, a life altering change as leaving the Watchtower.

  There are exceptions for both genders and rules are broken constantly, but in general, overall, I believe the above to be the causes of the difference you (and I) have seen and experienced.
• 

  adamah

  IloveTTATT asked,

  Why does religion/cults affect women more? Why is it harder for them to be convinced? Maybe guys are convinced by logic (show them doctrinally that JW's are wrong) and women are convinced by emotions (show them that JW's go against basic human emotions like motherly love)?

  Generally speaking, the women are the decision-makers in the family for healthcare, religion, education of the children, etc. Why? Likely societally-reinforced AND biologically-rooted, as the mother is the KNOWN parent of the children (she gave birth to them, so they are assuredly HERS, regardless of who the father actually may have been). She forms a greater bond while breast-feeding them via release of 'bonding' hormones, etc.

  Moms are inherently more nurturing than fathers, and the decision of which religion thus falls under their domain (especially since it's often a decision made on social factors, like which other moms are making).

  Aside from a societal tendency to tolerate public emotional displays in women moreso than men (where little boys are told that "big boys don't let others see them cry in public"), JW women are actually ENCOURAGED to EMULATE the behaviors of women they see in the society's literature and video (catch the histrionic emotionally-overdrawn depicted in the prodigal son video!). So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, where if the WT can ENCOURAGE emotional reactions in members, the person becomes MORE SUSCEPTIBLE to persuasion via future use of emotionally-based appeals. It's a vicious feedback.

  The Society KNOWS that emotions are the arch-enemy of rational thought, and they do their damnedest to discourage thinking rationally vs acting on emotions.

  Adam
• 

  gma-tired2

  I have been thinking on this subject for a while. Women are definitely more emotional than men. Speaking for myself only, I remember doubts since I was in my teens yet I always dismissed these doubts because of emotional attachment to family, I spent 50 years wondering why I always had doubts but never asking questions, I always felt I was the only one experiencing questions of why I understood scriptures differently from others. I attribute this to emotional ties with those I love. Even now at 65 I handle my JW family members from the emotional level.
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  sir82

  Can only speak from my experience.

  It is definitely an emotional issue for my wife. JWs in a sense "rescued" her from a life of casual sex, drug abuse, alcoholism. etc. They gave her a direction, a hope, a purpose in life, things she never felt she had the remotest chance at.

  She loves God and feels that he is using JWs to accomplish his will - after all, that's what happened to her, right?

  She knows there are serious problems with the leadership and many JWs are hurt by the callous policies.

  But she is also convinced God is real and will hold accountable all those who "stumble" others, even GB members if necessary. Meanwhile, her philosophy is "just keep your nose to the grindstone and do what you know is right".

  She doesn't give much thought to doctrine, so the flip-flops and inconsistencies don't really matter to her.

  It is an emotional connection - it feels right, so it must be right.
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  BU2B

  Sir82 thats my wife to a tee! She says that even if there is corruption even as far up as the GB, Jehovah will cleanse it and fix it. The thought that it really isnt "gods organization" does not really come to their mind though does it. She thinks they at least have the basics right, no immortal soul, paradise earth, no war etc.. and because of this she feels it must be "the truth". She does not realize that the only reason she believes in paradise earth, only 144,000 go to heaven, 2 hopes etc, is because that is what she has been taught by the GB as truth from her childhood on up, and does not realize there is no "holy spirit" on them at all, and it is all just opinions of mere men.. Its very frustrating, but hey! its a start.
• 

  TD

  Marta Trzebiatowska (Why Are Women More Religious Than Men?) has pointed out that in religions that marginalize females, women generally find other ways to express their religiosity, (As in genuine acts of charity) and often do have a more postive experience than the men as a result.

  For example, how many practicing JW ladies understand how abusive a CO can become behind closed doors? How many would even believe it if they were told? I would imagine it's pretty easy for a man to get disillusioned with the religion if he's exposed to its nasty underbelly regularly and often.