No Natural Affection... (page 2)

DesirousOfChange

You won't like this, but. . . .

people do what they WANT to do.

Theyll find some excuse to do it.

They'll find some way to do it.

Bottom line: They will DO IT.

If they don't. They just don't give a shit.

Doc

I'm sorry you had an accident and were hurt! Lots of ice on that neck and when it starts to feel better, get some physical therapy if you can. Get some rest. If you hurt your neck, you might find you'll start hurting in other places as well over the next few days. Take it easy! Healing takes place during rest.

As for your parents, well, they belong to a religion that teaches them it's OK not to love.

Thor

So sorry for what your going through! I do agree with Hortensia rest and try to take good care of yourself!

Mrs. Thor

Sammy Jenkis

Sorry to hear about your accident, I hope you feel better soon. As far as the drama with your mother all I can recommend you do is let it be. Something similar happened with mine and it always seemed that I said or did or would be responsible for the bad because the truth wasn't in my heart anymore.

I wish you the best and really am sorry your own mother can't see more to you as a person and an individual, unfortunately worth is determined by your religious standing. If the almighty is really behind this place it must really make him laugh to see how many families are destroyed because of his one true religion.

All the best,

Well excuse me if my car accidence conflicts with your meeting schedule! I'll try to plan around that next time!!

Mum

I'm sorry about the physical and emotional pain you are suffering.

I used to work for a personal injury attorney, so I want to advise you that if the accident was not your fault, you probably need to get an attorney to ensure that your medical bills will be paid and you will come out with some cash to help you get back on your feet financially.

LisaRose

I am sorry about your accident, hope you are OK. Well, shame on you for having it on a meeting night, I am sure that they will learn something that is far more important at the meeting than your health and well being. Not. Really, I never got the whole thing of going to every meeting no matter what. It's just the same old thing, week after week. I guess that's why I was a lousy dub.

Well, now you know where you stand. It hurts, but now you can see you don't have to worry about hurting their feelings by leaving, as they have shown you what their priority is.

Scully

The District Convention™ really slammed home to most JWs the importance of Loyalty to Jehovah™, even when important family matters come up. If it interferes with Meetings™ and Field Service™ then you're expected to go to the back of the bus, especially if you are No Longer One Of Jehovah's Witnesses™. If there was someone Studying™, who was never a JW, and *they* were in a car accident, you can bet your sweet bippy they'd be all over that person like a dirty shirt, demonstrating what Loving™ Christians™ they are. But for people like us, we aren't even worth an email or a phone call, much less an in-person visit.

I totalled my car 10 years ago, and called my mom afterward. She asked if I was ok and were the kids ok. Once she was reassured that we weren't injured (save for some whiplash that needed physiotherapy) she excused herself because she had company. She said she would call back, but she didn't.

I had surgery a few years ago, and again called my mom to let her know, and to find out some family history that might be important for the surgeon to know. I was home recuperating for 3 months and didn't even get a call, or even a get well card, from my JW parents. I could have died in the OR and they wouldn't have found out because they never effing bothered to call.

Last year, I was off work on sick leave for 3 months. Same damn thing. I spent a weekend with my sister and actually stopped in to visit my parents on the way there, but they wouldn't even answer their effing door for me.

Yet, if I don't send them a card for their wedding anniversary (which I forgot to do leading up to my surgery) my mother has a bloody coniption fit and complains that I'm a terrible daughter. You'd think maybe they'd clue in that maybe, just maybe, something was wrong with me and it wasn't all about *them* at the time.

All that to say, I get you, I really do. *hugs*

sarahsmile

I could be wrong here but you mom is like some women I have noticed in women groups. It like they have to fill there time up to feel important. It also need to be in control of everything in her life.

Maybe if you deal with her different because it just not working for you.

Try not to fall for what she is saying because she really just want you to make her feel loved. She is turned off.

Say things like I would really love to see you and I miss you. Any time she says anything about the bible or meetings. Just go back to how you need her and your father right now. I bet your mother is never on the emotional level just logic. She just giving you her list of dos.

But she sure does know how to make you feel less important because she been doing it her entire life. It makes her not feel hurt.

JakeM2012

lostinnj83,

Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope that you recover soon from the accident. I am also sorry for the internal family turmoil from a supposed "christian family". Graciously, this experience helps me appreciate that I am not alone in the continued SAGA of a multitude of Jehovah's Witness's dysfunctional families. Your experience helps me appreciate that these are learned traits from the "mother" organization.

The reason I comment is that, similar to your situation, I had a motorcycle accident over two months ago (Recent) which I probably should be dead, but I lived, (Dammit). I was coming home from work out of state for the weekend. I spend five days in the hospital, 4 of them in ICU, (Intensive Care Unity).

Within a few days after exiting the Intenvsive Care Unite of the hospital with minimal recovery, I tried calling my Mom (only parent living), and left messages on her cell phone and her landline answering maching indicating I had someting important to tell her, and to please call me. (I did not want to unnecessary alarm her) That is a total of two messages She has not returned my calls to date.

The reason I post this is to substantiate and agree that many families of Jehovah's Witnesses are "dysfunctional" to say the least. I'm not "whinning" about Mother and am not an ungrateful son, I sincerely appreciate all of her sacrifices. However, because of the WTBTS organizations continued preaching of hate, I believe that many of Jehovah's Witnesses have lost the last shreds of what might be called "natural affection".

Aunt Fancy

I am sorry to hear you were in an accident and hurt. I would have your neck checked out just in case because it can cause you a lot of problems in the future. I have had a surgery on mine and you will want to make sure it is covered. Yes, ice it and get plenty of rest and don't be surprised if the next couple of days you aren't hurting all over.

I am also sorry to hear you are dealing with a mom that is being unloving at a time when you need her. Sad to say it is common for someone who is in a cult to act this way. They always say how loving they are and that was what always bothered me, I saw very little love when I was in. I will never understand a parent that doesn't show love when a child is hurting. I always went to my son, daughter in law and grandkids whenever they needed me whether it was a meeting night or not. I guess that is why I am out now!!

I think when you can get to the point where you stop expecting her to act like a loving mom it will be less painful. You have to realize it will never change unless she wakes up. I don't know about any of you but it really seems like JW's are very self-centered. Hang in there and get better real soon.

No Natural Affection...

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