No! I'm not going to go to the authorities. I understand why they are doing this. It's just very hard to swallow.
Please help. I am losing the plot.
by wordyword 56 Replies latest jw experiences
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OnTheWayOut
I would go to their residence, knock on the door and ask whoever answers about your mother's health. You are not bound Watchtower rules and your father's wishes do not trump his daughter's need to know the condition of her mother.
I have to agree. As far as Dad just closing the door on you, maybe so. But really really tell him you need to know Mom is okay.
You could also show up during a meeting. If they aren't there, tell the elders you are worried sick about Mom.
I am really hesitant to do anything involving the police.
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exwhyzee
WordyWord. This is nothing but black mail. I'm sure Jehovah (if he exists) doesn't want anyone to be blackmailed into serving him. Do you have any Non JW relatives or maybe you know their neighbors well enough to ask them to check in on your parents? If you explain the situation to someone your parents know who are a non-JW's, it might embarrass them a little to have an "outsider" know what they are doing to you. Especially if the "outsider" made arrangements to visit your parents and brought you along as a surprise guest. Most JW's don't like to do their shunning in front of anyone but other JW's...it makes them realize how primative and mean it is when an outsider sees them engaging in this practice, especially to their own children.
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Crazyguy
Isn't it amazing how these people act. Jesus talked about leaving the flock to save just one sheep, yet these people say that if you're not in the flock be gone, totally ass backwards from what Jesus said.
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BackseatDevil
(1) E vo stick is real good for wood, laminate, PVC, and organic material (like leather). It's no good for metals (especially stainless or galvanized), coated materials, or in places that will prevent it from curing properly (on a heated surface or in cold weather/high humidity areas in which case it would probably be best to glue the shutters from the inside).
(2) If there is one thing I know about older people it is that the older they (we) get, the less likely they (we) are to change mental direction on things they (we) hold dear. It's kind of a univeral law. At this point, they have seen too much to "prove" that Jehovah is the one true god and he speaks through the faithful and discreet slave. You have to wonder about any organization that puts blind faith over human love (family or otherwise), but that is a different topic. At their age, one tends to think about what would be best for them during this time. After all, you still have from your age to thier age (in the 80s +) to live life... they do not. They are on a short time schedule, you are not.
Does that mean you have to lie for your parents so that they may continue peacefully? No. But there are ways to present 'distance' without presenting conflict. It's touchy if the other person(s) are definitive in their yes-no/black-white/god-satan/light-dark decisiveness. And unfortunately, once a division has been made, typically (not always) you have to wait for them to approach you.
All of this is dependant on the persona of your parents and how well you can (taking a lesson from the Theocratic Ministry School) adapt the message to be easily digestable for them. In the meantime, do some research on the history of religion, the bible canon development from conception (or watch the Cliff Notes version via "Mysteries of the Bible" on the History Channel) and develop your own sense of who you are and what you believe.
Your parents may be wrong. THAT is a lot for you to handle... especially having so many years in the "truth". But you don't have to talk to them like they are. It provides you with peace of mind... and somewhere in the middle they can peacefully have hope for you without disrupting their own 'happiness'... whatever that may be. That's just my opinion. I'm a person who didn't attend my father's funeral because I'm DF'd and he was an elder... so take this all with a 'grain of salt' or... boulder of salt rock.
(3) I'm shocked to find out there are still Kingdom Halls with windows. Seriously.
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clarity
Wordy ........ I so do commiserate with you.
That hurt in your gut is a bummer, it is such a betrayal to be cast aside by
Mom & Dad, or your kids (which I am going thru btw) it is such an unnatural
turn of events!
Stay strong ..... hang in there ........keep posting & take a deep breath!
I think if knocking on your parents door doesn't get them to open up,
then ya, my first instinct would be to go over to the neighbors & ask if
they have seen them lately. Maybe one of them would go over with you,
Exyzee's idea sounds like it might work.
clarity
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Narcissistic Supply
Be strong. I can do all things through christ who strengthens me.
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*lost*
Feel for you. Awful situation.
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nugget
I would send a get well card unsigned, saying heard you were unwell and was thinking of you. I would also arrange for flowers to be delivered in the name of the grandchildren. This lets your mum know you are thinking of her and are aware of her situation.
If your father is controlling it is very hard to make any inroads into his way of thinking but by sending cards etc from yourself and the grandchildren you are doing something positive and showing them that they are still important to you. It is also less confrontational.
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coffee_black
Brilliant suggestion, Nugget!
Coffee