Are these "worldly" people he is going fishing with? Hmmm. I would be really hesitant to isolate myself with someone who has an obligation as elder to disfellowship all who should be disfellowshipped. It sounds to me like some last ditch effort love bombing to me. He wants to get you back. It irks him that you can just turn your nose up to what he believes is the truth. If he was really a doubter or coming unravelled, he would step down as an elder in my opinion. I guess there are a few nonbelieving elders, but it seems like a creepy thing to do, (stay an elder while secretly being an undercover agent for the dark side.) I would trust such a person even less than a straight up believer. But, yeah, i WOULD say if you really want to go fishing with this guy cuz you like him and plan on having an ongoing and growing, mature, flourishing adult relationship with this person AND you want to go deep sea fishing, then go. But unless the above is the case don't go. It would be lousy to be stuck out at sea and trapped by a guy who is trying to re-convert you. You can't just swim home in that case.
Last night the one cool elder calls me
by confusedandalone 40 Replies latest jw experiences
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AnnOMaly
... or do you want us to just leave you alone and act like you have puilled of some great disappearing act?"
You've been given a pass. Take it.
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Hortensia
I agree with you. Cut the cord. Let them DF you. If they leave you alone, they'll still call you up for jobs, hit you up for money, that sort of thing.
I'm glad you were firm with your parents and brother. They got into that financial mess, let them figure it out. Rescuing people all the time stunts their personal growth. You know they aren't going to go homeless or starve, so why should you have to clean up their mess?
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jamiebowers
Are you sure this elder isn't trying to delay your df'ing so your parents can receive money from you with a clear conscience?
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scary21
I am pleased to hear you are not giving your hard earned money to family that are going to kick you out of their lives.
It would be kind of funny to choose the "disappearing act " and then see how far you can go before they DO disfellowship you.
A thousand Christmas lights on your house.
Very vocal to everyone
More Halloween decorations than anyone on your block
Maybe some flyers put on the cars at the KH.
Could make for some funny stories !
Scary Sherry
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Vanderhoven7
Betcha your parents fears about being unable to receive your money after being disfellowshipped were conveyed to this elder.
He would probably prefer you fade - and so would your parents....and your brother...so trash-talk and guilt could continue to be poured on thickly....in the hopes that these would motivate you to dole out the dough (which is all they really want anyway).
I would send a letter to your congregation's elders and c.c. the WTBTS saying you no longer believe the GB represent the Faithful Slave of Matthew 24. (and if this were me, I would add that I believe Jesus is the mediator for all Christians and the WT has nothing to do with God's approval or salvation)
That would force their hand without your cooperation. Then they, and their unbiblical disfellowship and shunning policies will be at fault for what happens next. I would not give them any encouragement lest you be an accessory to their lovelessness.
P.S. I think the second fishing invitation is as phony as the first.
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notjustyet
If you really want to tee them off, give them the check with Loan Written on it and then when they deposit it, put a stop payment on the funds, leave them hanging. Not sure you might get into trouble on that one.
NJY
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sarahsmile
So the elders paying for a fishing trip! I would go fishing and listen to what he says. Nice exit gift.
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Aunt Fancy
The decision you are making is a huge one and I had the same thoughts as you do. We have been fading for a year now and sometimes I feel like I should just DA myself and get it over with. We have taken our time with everything to make sure we are making the right decisions for our life. Someone posted that to DA would be playing their game and you don't owe the WTBTS anything and it really made me think. They are right you would be playing by their rules and doing exactly what they want you to. On the other hand I also realize we are still on their books so to speak and that does bother me at times that I am still connected to them.
I would not go on a fishing trip with them because you have moved on and to listen to all of their nonscense would really probably bother you. Why put up with listening to all of the cult talk and you will find you have nothing in common any longer. When we just started to fade we had dinner with our very good "friends" and we came home and both of us said we did not enjoy them like we use to because their way of talking and what they talked about was so weird to us now. Even if it is a free trip I don't think it is orth it. Besides you can't smoke the cigars you love!! :) LOL
Hang in there!
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DeWandelaar
I have seen it in other topics of you (ConfusedandAlone) and to me it is crystal clear they all want to use you for their own benifits:
I mean, come on: a CO that calls you to get some bethelites to work but is not caring **** about your spiritual needs, parents and brothers who want to leech your money before you get DAed or DFed, an Elder who does not care about DFing you or you being lowprofile? I mean: what is wrong with these guys? It is all snake like movements that I sense in these topics.
Like I said in the other topic: please be aware...