Was Your Leaving The Witnesses A Very Gradual Process Or A Quick One? (page 6)

factfinder

Gradually over about 5 years, but I knew something was wrong and had doubts long before that. I also witnessed lying on the part of elders and ms, gradually it caused me to have more doubts that Jehovah's spirit was really there.

Crazyguy

I grew up in it but was never really that spiritual. Always had that nagging doubts about why would a god of love kill everyone thats not a JW just because they may have rejected a 5 minute presentation at the door or never even heard of JW's. Then a couple of years ago with the economy being toast and looking to find work went to another state far from my family. While there and even before was trying to be more spiritual, not missing meetings and service etc.

In this other state going to a DC one of the GB in his talk mentioned that right before 1975 many at Bethel thought 75 was it and he did not and they accused him of apostate thinking. Well bamb he just admitted that 1975 was a bigger deal than they had said so I started researching it trying to stay away from outright apostasy websites. Then I thought well if these men were really not anointed then that would explain all their mistakes but not necessarily mean the ORg was wrong just imperfect men.

Then after returning home from the other state I started studying the book of Revelations with a friend, the bible book not the JW book. But i would go to that book to help me for the Bible book and it became hard to stomach the stuff in it. I could not agree that the bible would have prophecies in it about us and our little conventions etc. how arrogant i thought. But while studying with this friend and realizing that the men in New York were majorly imperfect i really became interested in the bible. While reasurching the bible I came across the 2001translation.com website and all it wonderful info. There is where i first got a clue about the JW understanding of the Mediator and the New Covenant and after doing a thorough research and destroying the JW's ideas on those subjects the house of cards all fell down and I'm done.

satinka

Three months after the elders found out about my dance partner/boyfriend, they gave me the boot.

Thanks elders. That was just what I needed to get on with my life!

satinka

After all...you can't write a good book without certain cooperative components!

satinka

brainmelt

I started researching my doubts last October, started to 'fade' early this year, dropped Thursday meetings in February, went out in service once a month and my last meeting was in April. So it was all fairly quick, about 6 months but it felt like forever and I got to the point where I knew I couldn't continue anymore so I just quit, husband followed me out.

Jazzbo

Raised in the org but I was always fairly cynical and skeptical about the whole thing. I actually like the Bible and historical study, etc. Publicing speak and all that stuff came easily for me and I was quite good at it to be honest. I did value some of the friendships and the family relationships so I rolled along and made a successful career for myself in the business world and had a parallel success in the organization. My idea was that I would do the best I could to help people and control the bad guys as best I could. Became really tired of the monumental level of ignorance in the organization. Nauseated by the actions of many COs and DOs. Got real fed up with the way my kids were treated when they got University educations, got removed as an Elder and to my shock quickly learned how many people had actually resented intellectually stimulating Watchtower Studies and Book Studies. Became irregular. Moved and went to a congregation where no one knew me and had no idea of my capabilities. Nearly everyone in the new congregation where about as bright as fence posts. Very tiresome hearing weekly expositions about how God was directly intervening in everyone's life. Became inactive. Decreased meeting attendance to occasional. Congregation boundaries changed and I arrived one day to find I was in a different congregation where no one knew me from Adam and wasn't the least bit interested in me at all. Said to myself, "That's great!" walked out the door and never went back.

Finally-Free

Quick. I'd already wasted what should have been the 20 most productive years of my life. Why waste another minute?

W

grumblecakes

I seem (and from what I've seen on threads) find it easier to just think and talk about the logistics of fading or leaving the organization. The one foot in front of the other every day avoidance of witnesses, deciding not to attend, not returning phone calls and texts. Thinking and talking about one thing that made us snap and not go back. Rediculous elders, rules, fake friends, injustices and atrocities congregation members committed, hell even decisions & mandates made by the GB. That all is a GREAT deal of crap and legit to discuss for hours upon hours.

There is one aspect less commonly addressed.

There is something I find way harder to talk or think about though....

Most of us used to share something in common. Most of us (although it seems silly now) used to belive we would live forever, our every need would be met, every wrong righted, every freakin tear wiped from our eyes. We would be reunited with our deceased loved ones again, alive, as humans just the way they once were. We belived that god himself was listening when no one else was and cared and would fix everything.

We suspended facing our own mortality and grieving our losses. In the process of leaving the witnesses we are confronted with those ugly truths all at once and that can be pretty freaking difficult (lying awake at night ripping apart inside at the realization that oh yes, you will die. All the people you loved that died, that was it. You'll never see them again. And no, no one is listening. You're alone.)

The answer I think for me to the question posed in this thread is a little more involved unfortunately.

So yeah, the big screen moment where you just said "F***you!" to the elders and peeled out of the KH parking lot, tires kicking up rocks and a big clould of dust, never to return again is one thing...the collateral damage of learning your most deeply cherished hopes were a big perverse farse and a carrot dangled on a stick is another.

SAHS

“grumblecakes”: “ We suspended facing our own mortality and grieving our losses.”

Actually, I was constantly aware of my own mortality since around 14 years old even though I was a JW in good standing since birth. (I’m 47 now.) That’s because I always doubted that I would be good enough to survive Armageddon since around 12 years old, and then, since I was around 14, I was extremely worried that I had sinned against the holy spirt. (That is precisely why my user name is “SAHS.”) By 16, I was pretty much sure that I had, in fact, already sinned against it. My long-time elder father would from time to time scare me about doing this since I was about eight years old. I went through so much shame, guilt, anguish, and fear that I couldn’t even bring myself to talk about it to anyone until I was much older.

So, I didn’t get to suspend my own mortality for very long in life – it’s pretty much always been staring me in the face.

The one good thing is that through my research over the last decade or so, especially on this site (it’s been somewhat of a god-send for me), I’ve come to realize that the whole JW/Watchtower theological structure is just based on men’s ideas and simply doesn’t add up under any scrutiny. Furthermore, I have been tending toward an open and non-commital agnostic understanding about the existence and nature of “God.” In the end, I believe that we are literally part of the universe itself and ultimately will return to it as more elementary constituents. (I.e., “dust,” comprising silicates, carbon, calcium, and other elements.)

teela(2)

Quick. Arguing with my father yet again about going to the meetings (I was 15). He slammed on the brakes of the car. Said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. Opened the car door walked home. Elders asked through my dad to meet with me. Told Dad to tell them to get lost, bunch of dirty old men. I did attend an international convention for about 30 mins after this many years later to help my aging parents.

Was Your Leaving The Witnesses A Very Gradual Process Or A Quick One?

Share this