sorry late reply - think in South Afica we just get things late!
Yes sometimes it is hard for me to think that there is no god - but one has to come to this conclusion if you see the horrible things happening in the world today - and there has been no step in from the higher power.
.but on another note - when one thinks of the human body / babies / etc that is a marvel! but apart from that - then I just don't know.
All I know is my life from moment to moment - and live in the moment.
thanks everyone!