apologies to ubms.....confessions from the o
by Miss.Fit 16 Replies latest jw friends
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Miss.Fit
Confessions from the dark side.
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Miss.Fit
To all you non JWs who have married a JW.....or ex-jw who decided to go back...
I do not claim to speak for all JW spouses who decided to marry out of the faith. But I might give you some perspective and insight to your mate.
If you can bear with me and my posting I will tell you my side of the story.
Missy
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nonjwspouse
I look foreward to hearing your story.
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Miss.Fit
I will address this to my own UBM:
honey I can't believe that we have been married for over 26 years. every year my love for you has grown. remember when we met? I was working at a fast food place, and you would come in and order two sandwiches and a large drink everyday.
I was 19 andliving on my own.
You did not know this at the time,that I was a struggling J. W.I was raised to believe that it was wrong to date anyone that was not A Jay. W.but what can I say ? You had a beautiful smile and when you asked me out I had to say yes. I almost changed my mind..but my co-workers cheered me on and my best friend was dating a non JW and she seemed happy. So I decided to take a chance. There wasn't very many prospects at the hall and I was lonely.
Remember how I made you meet me at the Duncan donuts?
After all you were "worldly"aand I didn't know you. I was really scared and nervous I was going against everything I had been taught.
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Miss.Fit
I was very inexperienced but was determined to keep my virtue. You didn't know this but I had arranged for my friend to stop by the DD to check you out. We wanted to make sure you weren t an axe murderer.
She gave you a thumbs up. I arranged for her to meet me later.
We had a great time. I was trying to bury my guilt about breaking the rules. But you were so sweet and considerate. I could not see how it could be wrong to spend time with you.
Remember how fast I jumped out of your car when you got to my car? You leaned over and I was already out the door.
I figured that I had blown it. But the next day you sent over a dozen roses with a note that said" same time same place"and then called me at work to see if I got them. How could I resist? After the second date you asked if I trusted you enough to let you see where I live so you could pick me up f or our next date.
Sweetheart you will never know how much courage it took for me to tell you I was a JW. Do you remember the talk I had with you. I was trying to live in 2 worlds. I wanted to be honest with you. I didn
. we laughed about how fast I jumped out of your car after you. Broght me back to my car. Remember how you leaned over toward me......and how fast
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friendaroonie
This sounds a lot like my experience dating a jw and she did noy T know I was an Ex jw.
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Miss.Fit
Sorry having trouble posting.
I let you know up front that I was saving myself for my future husband. I was not interested in casual sex. You agreed you would respect my wishes.
Looking back , I see how selfish I was being. I wanted the best of both worlds. I knew I wouldnt be dfd for dating but being imoral was another story.
My heart was divided. I knew deep down I was going to have to make a choice. you asked me to marry you. Remember how I told you I had to think about it?
You didn't know ....I couldnt find a way to explain what was at stake for me...or how it would affect you. but what you didn't know was when I gave myself to you ..that was my answer.. I knew then I had choosen a life with you and had turned my back on everything I was taught and believed. I knew I had sinned against god by not waiting for my wedding night.
I saw myself as dead I knew I wouldnt see paradise. I also knew better than to confess. I knew what happened.
Your family embraced me.
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garyneal
My mother-in-law sent a letter to me after my wife and I moved in together and said that she had left Jehovah for me. I could not believe what I was reading, my mother-in-law was saying that my wife chose me over Jehovah. What really struck me as odd about it was that I attended church myself and considered myself to be very Christian.
Of course, I know now why she though this way, but back then I did not know better.
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Miss.Fit
You never did forgive my mother for not coming to our wedding. She said she couldnt afford to make the trip. I knew if I asked you, you would have paid her way. I think it was easier this way. I did not invite my middle sister because I did not want to put her in an akward position. My sis...well she came any way...I should have known.
I am so sorry that I equated loving you and marrying you with sinning. I never told you that. What we have together should be celebrated.
My dear husband you have been so patient with me.
For the first 2 years of our marriage.. I was totaly inactive. Remember when you took me to your mom's house and we all went out on her land and chopped down a christmas tree? That was my first christmas. I really tried but I could not get into it.
One day a J W sister came to the door. I really cant explain why I felt the need to go back. I felt I had a chance to redeem myself.
You did not standin my way. You told me if it made me happy to do it but you didn't believe in it. You always said you didn't need a
group to tell you how to worship god. I never told you how lonely I felt going to the meetings without you. I would see couples together and feel sad. I did not listen to the orgs. Counsel.. I was unevenly yoked...and it was my choice.
I never told you that one of my burdens wad knowing