Hello, Mark.
I realize that whether the relationship is discovered early or late, certain types of people are going to respond categorically and be unable to think outside the box. Personally, I care little for that limited type of thinking and such people have little to offer me, regardless of the subject.
Yes, some may initially have another basis for insulting you, such as with comments of “who wears the pants,” etc. The fact is that over time, as you both express yourself on various topics, unless you agree on everything and share the exact same perspective on all subjects, others would soon see two distinct people. In r/l you and I have convos with married couples all the time and very seldom see collusion in their arguments. Often the couples are as much at odds with each other as two people can be. I don’t understand why that same thing can’t happen here.
And besides there are other reasons that frankly are none of your biz.
Please understand: At the outset when I asked the question, I wasn’t trying to pry into private affairs for specifics or even trying to make a point. It’s simply that since I wouldn’t do it myself and so saw no reason for it, I was only trying to understand the reasons why a married couple would keep their couple-ness (?) a secret.
Thanks for your note. You’ve given me something to think about.