Zombie,
I guess I can see how other’s comments relative to your husband might bother you. However, under the exact same circumstances, I just don’t see it being a problem for me at all.
For one, people who’d assume that my wife and I held the exact same views would be making a very stupid assumption, one that would easily be put to rest as they objectively read our respective posts. (Just like people who deal with us in r/l, it wouldn’t be long before most got the point that my wife and I were two distinct individuals and would respond to us accordingly.) The minority that insisted on being stupid would be easy enough to ignore.
It works here! For example, people know who Larc is and who ZazuWitts is. ZazuWitts doesn’t always agree with Larc—has strongly disagreed at times—and the adults here understand how normal that is in a marriage. If someone says that she ought to get control of her husband, they’d only be joking since we all know Larc is out of control and we have deep sympathies for her because of it.
Secondly, just as it doesn’t faze me when I’m called names here, I wouldn’t care one bit when a total stranger accused me of being domineering (or, in your case, not being submissive). Do you REALLY care what accusations strangers make about you? I don't.
Others would ask me to control him. His views were what I considered, "outa control" and I wanted nothing more than to distance myself from him after a while.Funny! Like I told someone in email, if my wife posted I’d be the first to make it known and seriously doubt either of us would lose anything in the long-run. If anything, the poor woman would immediately get a lot of sympathy from the board.