Seems very easy to leave now, why do people hesitate?

by Xanthippe 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  blondie

  If by fading one means mentally separating but still physically participating in some way...

  If by fading one means leaving physically and mentally and no participation or belief

  If one thinks fading will mean you will keep some or all of your jw family and jw friends intact...now that is illusive and impossible.

  I have 13 years of nonattending, no field service, no gatherings like memorial, assemblies/conventions, weddings, funerals, no contact initiated. We are polite to those we encounter as we go around town, but no discussion of why we don't come, none.

  Inactive jws are viewed with suspicion and jws are told to limit their social contact, be uplifting and keep the conversation on only spiritual things.

  I always felt that fading was an interim period between knowing TTATT and adjusting your lives financially, socially, etc. To think that there will be no change in your relationships with jws is self-deceiving.

  It is an abusive organization and people abused in any sense can heal and move on to positive things, but your past will still be a memory and something to consciously deal with.

  So if you miss a few meetings, don't "preach", it is a start.
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  JakeM2012

  It appears that apathy is a growing problem within the congregations. I make the causative connection with people in the process of "waking up". It is my opinion that the first thing people stop doing when waking up is donating money. They will keep up the appearances of going through the motions for years, but stop donating.

  As noted before there are many reasons that people must stay in. As several older friends have said to me, they have "too much invested" to leave. It can be a huge loss in relationships and even financially to leave with the shunning and hatred that is reinforced regularly at meetings, conventions etc. about the mentally diseased apostates or ones who quit believing.

  Recently, I went back to my home town and visited with a very select few. The subject of what I was doing in the organization never came up. They didn't ask, and I didn't tell. I don't think they can afford to ask. We were happy to visit one another and enjoy the time together.
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  DarioKehl

  Preserving family. It's as simple as that. This f**king cult uses this as a weapon. It doesn't matter how available information is, the consequences are exactly the same.
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  OUTLAW

  If one thinks fading will mean you will keep some or all of your jw family and jw friends intact...now that is illusive and impossible.....Blondie

  .............................

  
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  Xanthippe

  Thanks for saying that Millie but I don't know about admirable, I just hate being lied to. Once I found I'd been lied to I thought how could God let this happen? My life was in ruins and he just didn't seem to be there anymore.

  Blondie and Outlaw I think you are right in my case, my family would have shunned me for fading anyway. Some families are just prone to bearing grudges and being unforgiving.

  Other people have a great family and want to get them out, perfectly understandable.

  IMHO people should ask themselves if their family is really worth the pain of staying in the cult for years, not all families are.
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  Sail Away

  I left because I refused to shun my disfellowshipped son. I was the last one in my family in. I walked away after 42 years, not even knowing TTAT. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My lifelong "friends" stopped initiating contact after 5 months of nearly daily phone calls, visits, letters, emails, texts, etc. They all shun me now, but we have our family intact except my diehard JW in-laws. Sadly, there is no easy way out.
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  Village Idiot

  I was already fading before my disfellowshipping. That wasn't a conscious decision but I would have gotten to the point where I would stop attending altogether. I was suffering anxiety attacks out in field service. That stress led me to write a letter to one of the elders. That was what got me disfellowshipped. I don't think I could have survived today's circumstances in the Witnesses without dropping out quickly.
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  James Mixon

  Millie2210 " Tradition". Most people stay in the same religion of

  mom and dad.
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  Ignoranceisbliss

  Waking up is much easier with the Internet. Losing your family will never be easy though.
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  Simon

  It's probably easier to leave bit it's also easier to be "less in".

  The whole religion is becoming a watered down version of what it used to be. It's becoming a lifestyle religion and they don't want to make it too difficult.

  It also probably gives people less reason to leave. At one time it was a hard choice to make but now - meh, you can associate while not being such a zealot.

  That's how it appears to me.

  There's also more information now about how to leave or at least reduce your involvement without making it a hard issue.