*Facepalm* What do you make of this cultish email I just got from my JW friend? What do I say to her?

by Julia Orwell 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    A bit of background: she is a sweet sister who has hard a really hard life: mum killed in an accident when she was young while once-an-Elder Dad was off having an affair after having been released from jail after serving time as a pedophile; she spent months in hospital after the accident which killed her mother; brothers jailed as pedos, ex husband left her cold with their 6 month old son- she's had a tough life and is a really sweet lady. She's intelligent, caring, forgiving and articulate. Far too good for JWs.

    She 'brought me into the Truth' as they say, and as such we've always had a pretty good bond.

    Now, after the gossip/slander fiasco of another so-called friend running around telling everyone I'm an apostate and not to talk to me, I unfriended my JW friends from Facebook with an explanation. I couldn't bring myself to unfriend her, so I just sent her this:

    Heya,

    I know this gonna sound really harsh, but I'm messed as at the moment after a really good 'friend' has gone and slandered my around Mudgee congregation, and the gossip has been going nuts in a few congregations, {I don't know this for sure; just fishing around and assuming that's what's been happening} about me.Never in my life have I been treated with so much venom and vitriol, just because I dared to speak up about some injustices and lies as I have been recently.

    It's been a torrid a time as I've been slandered, shunned, abused, unfriended, insulted in my own home, and pestered at times, and I've had enough of this treatment. Therefore, I've been unfriending so-called Jehovah's witnesses from my facebook page for my own peace of mind.Of course I can't bring myself to unfriend you based on how long we've been friends and how I know you are above all that stuff. Just to let you know, if youthink I've become the disgusting creature I've been described as in the rumours, I'll be disappointed to say the least, but I'll certainly understand if you unfriend me.

    Your friend always, [Julia]

    And today she sends me this lengthy email, and brace yourself:

    Hi [Julia] and [Julia's Husband], {interestingly, she's never addressed and email to both me and Hubby}

    I’m so sorry to see and hear that you’ve been so hurt and disappointed.

    I don’t want to go through all the details of what people have said, as I have no way of verifying it, {so people have been saying stuff} however I’m sure you would acknowledge that when you share things on Fb which really are critical of Jehovah’s organisation/literature etc, you’re bound to get some reactions from your friends who will of course be feeling they need to demonstrate their loyalty for Jehovah and his organisation. {always the damn organisation} It is so very easy to find reasons to be critical – the organisation has never claimed to be infallible, and in fact has always said ‘the light is getting brighter’ – {yet if you point out their imperfections, well, you know the rest} in reality we’ll have it all down pat around the end of the 1000 years when we’re perfect.

    And I get the feeling that’s the real underlying issue – a loss of faith in Jehovah’s Witnesses as God’s organisation in this time. {I told you she was smart} This may well be brought on by real injustices – there has never been a guarantee that all of Jehovah’s people would use exemplary Christian behaviour 100% of the time. You only have to read the Gospels to realise the first century Christians had all the same problems, and in fact even Judas, who was hand-picked by Jesus Christ himself, was allowed for a time to embezzle money and still be in Jesus’ close company. However I have always observed, over 33 years of being a baptised Witness, it is only a matter of time and God’s Holy Spirit, that if anyone needs to be disciplined or refined, it happens.{The same Holy Spirit who allowed her pedophile father to made an elder, then the very same Holy Spirit to 'refine' him after the kids were molested}

    It is clear in Matt 24 that along with the many signs of the Last Days, Jesus prophesied a ‘Faithful & Discreet Slave’ – who would have 2 responsibilities – to lead true worship by giving spiritual food, and organise the preaching work which Jesus clearly commanded has to be the purpose of the Christian congregation. Remembering the true faith –

    MUST:

    • · Teach that the Kingdom is the only real solution for mankind
    • · Honor God’s name
    • · Base it’s teachings on God’s Word
    • · Be politically neutral
    • · Preach the Good News worldwide
    • · Adhere to God’s moral standards

    {I'm not going to point her to JWfacts.com where he mentions all the others doing these things}

    And it MUST NOT:

    • · Go to war
    • · Be involved in worldly politics
    • · Teach that God is a Trinity
    • · Teach that the Soul is Immortal
    • · Teach Hellfire
    • · Have a paid clergy etc etc – you know these things as well as I do!! {Just to remind me I'm wilfully ignoring the Truth; also, not going to point her to JWfacts yet}

    So who is that organisation if it’s not Jehovah’s Witnesses? It is so very easy to be critical, but can you honestly tell me of an organisation that is anything like this? Honestly, it’s a miracle what Jehovah with Jesus as Head of the congregation has been able to achieve with such imperfect people.{Why must there BE an organisation? The first Century Christians associated together in congregations, but didn't have a highly structured organisation until they became the Catholic Church...!}

    Can you read a scripture for me (in any translation) – 1 Cor 11:3. You’ll notice there’s God, then Jesus, then the Husband, then the Wife. So for us to be really under God’s rule, we are accountable directly to Him. {then why do I need to follow an Org? She undermines the whole argument for an organisation in this paragraph}Our faith therefore should be firmly focussed on the example of Christ, not on any imperfect human. When we do this, we’re looking up, not sideways. This to me has always been the solution for not getting waylaid by anyone’s imperfections – they really are irrelevant in the bigger picture.

    [Julia], I am distressed and saddened by how you’ve been affected spiritually, you are far too precious to be lost to this. I would like to offer to study with you, {I'd rather eat live redback spiders}with the purpose of strengthening your relationship with Jehovah and his Son {His ORGANISATION}. Can you please promise me you’ll talk about this with Jason prayerfully and get back to me?

    So I know exactly how I can counter all her points and reason on them, but I know from experience that does not work! Last time I did that, well, I got slandered around as an apostate!!!

    I care very much for my friend, as she's a wonderful lady. When she finally does have to shun me, she will do it with a broken heart, not because she wants to but because to her, it's a black-white matter of loyalty to the OrgHovah. I don't see a good way out of this; to be able to reply yay or nay, and keep her as a friend, or at least not hurt her.

    What should I do? I dearly look forward to your comments, aposta-brothers and sisters.

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    Hey Julia - that email was Rationalisation Central - she knows the problems but will use her reason to twist everything around so that she can still be part of Jehavah's organisation and nothing will deter her from that. She is now in 'Love bomb Julia and Jason back into the organisation by convincing them it really is the Truth despite the problems' mode. Once she realises this is a forlorn hope she will be forced by policy to disown you even though she really really won't want to do this but her loyalty to the organisation will win out. So be prepared. I feel so sorry for you because it will be very sad when it happens. So I suggest you don't do anything to prolong the agony for her and you by giving her hope she has a chance of luring you back in. Good luck. I really feel for you and your hubby going through this - you are in for a bumpy ride but you have the great advantage of doing it together and you will come out the other end better for it. Take care and best wishes

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Thx. I can't believe I missed cutting out my husband's name! Oh well, surely that won't out us... and if it does, the dirty little hypocrite reading this and reporting us to your thought police, hear this: be a Christian about it and talk to me before running off to the elders; and while you're at it, tell them you have been on an 'apostate' site. Don't think they will be kind to you either; it's all smiles at the hall, but fall foul of CW and PE and wait til CW strips you to the bone and PE snubs you at the hall while CW does the dirty work.

  • zound
    zound

    It's frustrating.

    You could agree with the list she compiled and mention that God's moral standards would include doing everything to protect children from abuse - and information you've researched has indicated that the Watchtower are not doing this.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    That would be hitting in the guts. To be perfectly honest though, I don't want to delve into anything to do with that religion or org. I'd like to just say "I don't believe it any more," without explanation or refutation of what she's said, or anything like that. It gets so emotionally draining.

    But we know with JWs you can't just say you don't believe and leave it at that. You can't say that to any fundamentalist really. Also, that would lead to a JC as printing out an email and showing to someone counts as 'two witnesses'.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Yep - a letter from the heart cult.

    Sorry you are facing all this crap.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    When a person steps out of the JW parade, when your no longer in lock step your devalued in the minds of those who march on. It's that way in any organization. You have become the 'other.' You can not and will not be treated as an equal.

    The only witnesses who will acknowledge you as a meaningful person will be those on their way out or who have gotten out.

    It is time to move on......and yes a departing witness needs to vent....we are lucky to have this site. But bottom line all of your love and fine works are no longer valued by JW's.

    What I hated most was being treated as a nobody which is why I had to build new relationships and friendships. I've made a success out of my family and professional life. The JW's I grew up with and served with are devalued in my mind. This is not to say I don't have fond memories of some of them but I have marched on and it was they who dropped out.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    I feel the same way I suppose- I'm going my way and they're going theirs.

    I just found out she's unfriended me from Facebook. She must have blocked me because I can't find her anywhere when I do a search or search mutual friends' lists. A little research has just told me that either she has disabled her account or blocked me.

    So an imploring email on one hand, and a facebook block on the other? I'd like to believe she's just disabled her account, but my instinct tells me otherwise.

    Funny thing is, 6 months ago this would have driven me to a depression. I've been driven to depression by friends breaking it off before, years ago over something non-JW related. But now, I've been innoculated against it somehow. Probably the fact I've been expecting it helps, and I've already weathered it from other 'friends'. I'm not mad at them though because I understand the grip their minds are in, and that most of them are victims.

  • BroMac
    BroMac

    Don't know how lucky you are to have such a good friend

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Lol yes, she just wants to save my eternal life in the watchtower programmed way. It's sickening that they fear so much because of the cult crap spewed out, and how that fear of either being your friend and being killed by Jehovah or losing his favor makes you or cut off your friend or worse, a family member.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit