*Facepalm* What do you make of this cultish email I just got from my JW friend? What do I say to her?

by Julia Orwell 55 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  redvip2000

  So who is that organisation if it’s not Jehovah’s Witnesses?

  IMO, this is the biggest hurdle when trying to open someone's eyes. Most people that i've debated with, although agreeing with the issues i raise, revert back to this question. If they are going to quit the Watchtower society, they want a better alternative - someone who is doing a better job.

  Trying to convince someone that they can "do their own thing" is not easy. People are used to having and following rules and regulations. They are used to having a structure and boundaries they feel confortable with. Trying to push this responsability on the individual is not an easy task - in fact many don't want it. They find it easier to follow directions.

  I understand it because this was the last hurdle for me as well. I recall conversations with some friends and family about issues within the Watchtower and each time i asked myself "Who else is better?".

  It is only when you finalize realize the purpose of a church in not dictating and managing your life, but instead simply providing spiritual support and association, that you come to consider that it's ok to be a part of a group that doesn't necessarily thinks like you.
• 

  flipper

  JULIA- I feel your letter is very polite, to the point, yet avoids any cult triggers that might upset your friend. Emphasis on love, thanks to her for her concern but you and hubby are " good " . Good job. It will be interesting to see if and how she replies. Your friend reminds me so much of my JW daughters aged 26 & 25 it's not funny. Exactly the way they would word things when they used to write to me. Good luck. We are here for you my friend
• 

  problemaddict

  Julia,

  I am sorry i am getting to this thread late. You and I are in many parallels. I too have received a couple of letters from people I respect and admire. People too smart to still be shoveling around the same old excuses for being wrong. I will never get used to...

  "Jehovah never said his representatives would be perfect"

  "it is humble to acknowledge mistakes and move past them (as if that ever happens)"

  "who else?"

  I mean these are the weakest of the weak arguements for joining or staying part of a religion. Sure we change, make mistakes, and require you to believe what we say as though it is the voice of God but are subject to wrongness......but we aren't perfect (que sad trombone sound). Its just nutty.

  I like your letter back to her, but it shows a tired kind of meh feeling in it. Why not spruce it up with a couple scriptures. You can kind of tell her how you feel without telling her how you feel if you do it right. You can maybe introduce in a very kind way that you think the faithful and discreet slave is a parable, or whatever it is you think. Refer her to the actual working of the scripture regarding "the light getting brighter". This is a proverb regarding the actions of a righteous one, it is clearly not a prophecy to explain error in the last days. For light to get brighter, would it not have to at least be "light" to begin with?

  Perhaps using the scripture she showed you regarding headship, is the bst way to explain that, that is the arangement you are ok with and going to live by. You don't blame Jehovah for what those in his name have done yadda yadda.

  I was able to actually speak with a CO our family is close with over many many letters regarding things he would have never actually known or spoken about. It was just the way they were written I had to pay special attention to. It was a little exhausting, but it was certainly worth it.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  I did thnk of those things but I realized that anything committed to writing could be used against me in an apostasy trial. Although I'm very happy with my fade n have absolutely no doubt I'm doing the right thing, I don't have the emotional stamina to face a jc. So, I wrote that last reply with the assumption it would be shown to the elders and therefore totally avoided anything religious, and tried to keep it on a friendship level by updating her on family as I always do.

  I haven't had a reply. I don't think I'm going to get one. She's smart enough to read between the lines of what I've written to see I no longer believe in the organization, but there's nothing the elders could use against me either.

  She was one of my last ties to the cult so maybe it's just time I da myself.

  Interesting point about the 'what other organization...sure it ain't perfect but it's the best one...' It's like saying it's ok to take heroin because it's not as bad as cyanide. How about taking neither? That's the point we need to get jws to understand.
• 

  steve2

  What a lovely worded reply to her Julia. She would have to be an extraordinarily vindictive woman to read anthing apostate into your letter. She may copy it to others who may not view it so charitably - so be it. You may be surprised if she does reply...stranger things have happened. Still, yours is a very well considered reply.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Thanks. I drafted it three times because I didn't want to leave anything to chance since jws are so sensitive bout everything.

  And as I was saying to a fading friend in my old cong, I've accepted that the part of my life that had those friends in it is over, and I've realised that although I think highly of them and have affection for them, they now belong to the past.

  I'm actually resigned to cutting my ties with the last of my Jw friends. it doesn't leave me with any feelings. My psychiatrist said it's time I strike out on my own and develop my own groove until I'm ready to join another group, be it a group of new friends or academic associations or whatever. It's an incredible journey few jws will experience.
• 

  Honesty

  Get out and find some new friends, Julia.

  There are tons of people who love their friends unconditionally.

  You don't need the mental stress that continuing to dialogue with hardcore cultists is causing you.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Amen. I got my own groove now and plenty of new people to talk to, plus my non Jw friends from years ago are so supportive of this process.
• 

  Sammy Jenkis

  "...I've accepted that the part of my life that had those friends in it is over, and I've realised that although I think highly of them and have affection for them, they now belong to the past."

  You're preachin' to the proverbial choir, I can relate on a grand scale.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  *Sigh* it's so good to have people who understand! It really helps the healing process. My father's been telling me ever since I became a JW I was too good for 'that mob' as he used to call them.

  One of my old friends learned TTATT years ago and we just reconnected after she learned I'd woken up too. I never knew she'd turned because her fade has been watertight, but I'm just thrilled to have a friend spanning both pre-ttatt and post-ttatt days.