Cheers! Here's to lost opportunities and forgotten memories.

pronomono

It's 1am and I'm halfway through a glass of brandy. I've been cleaning out the closet (literally), and reminiscing about old times and decisions I didn't make. It's times like these I regret being brought up as a witness the most. I love my wife, but she's not the one I'd have chosen if it wasn't for my faith. Looking through old school albums, seeing my best high school "girl" friend and now seeing her 10 years later on FB, I wish that I had taken that leap, forsaken my faith for love. It would have been worth it for her. But alas, I'm stuck in the here and now. Bottoms up. Here's to love lost and missed opportunities thanks to the WTBTS. Love you all.

Simon

I know how you feel

Train Of Life

Written By: Praveen

Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.

They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their head and cry.

But I don’t concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.

So strap me to the engine,
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.

I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.

I want to see what’s coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life’s too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.

So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front, and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.

It’s all right to remember,
That’s part of history,
But up front’s where it’s happening,
There’s so much mystery.

The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It’s looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.

It’s searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You gotta drive the train.

pronomono

Thanks, Simon. I needed that. The first two verses hit the nail on the head. It's time for a change in outlook.

Simon

I was actually looking for a different poem which was about someone looking out of a train window at a village and wondering the life they would have if they have been born and lived there, but the train kept to the tracks and they had somewhere to go ...

It was a classic by an English author, I'll post it if I find / remember it.

2+2=5

Try not spending to much time dwelling on past regrets, what ifs and could have been thoughts. They can drive a person crazy. I have almost lost the plot completely by letting these things consume me.

Concentrate on now and appreciate what we have. Cheers, I will have a beer. Its only 4:30 in the arvo here and I am just home from work.

LoisLane looking for Superman

Pronomono , My sister just died this week. As my daughter and I were walking this evening she reflected what would her Auntie give, to be alive again? She

would give everything for at least one more day. She said, Mom, you and I are alive. We have what money can't buy. We have our life to live now.

As a JW, our lives were micro-managed. Now, myself, I have freedom to choose what I want to do. I don't know about you.

I hear what you say that if you were not a JW, you would have picked a different wife, a different life.

I think you could say, for many of us, well, stand in line. lol That is not an original thought.

It is OK, to give it a few minutes thought, of what might have been, but dwelling on it, might put you back into JW dreamland, where you do not live your life

now , but you are waiting, waiting, for some mysterious time in the future when all your dreams will come true.

What can I say to you Prono, when I wish ( ed ) myself a different life and wished I had done the horizontal rumba bumba , when I was young, with those young

guys I loved?

I console myself by saying I could have been born into a 3rd World Country and if I had, I probably would have been dead many years ago.

There are all kinds of ways of consoling yourself. Stay active. Look after your health. Don't get diabetes, and prostate problems, and erectile disfunction . What

if your life did change drastically in 10 years, 15? Did you stay healthy enough to enjoy having sex with your old girlfriend?

You must stay healthy for your future. You never know what it is going to be.

LoisLane

pronomono

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement all. I'm sorry to hear about your sister, LoisLane. My thoughts are with you.

I really do have a lot to be thankful for. I know my thoughts and feelings aren't unique. Looking over previous posts is encouraging seeing what you all have done to cope. It's just different when you are the one fighting the emotions and mental anguish. As has been said before by others one foot in and one foot out the door, it's a lose-lose situation. But by staying in the organization, you lose more. Learning to cope with the immediate losses and moving on from past regrets is the toughest part for me.

Thanks, all.

LongHairGal

Simon:

That is a very touching poem. I spend too much time looking down memory lane and it isn't good for me so I have to work on this.

Lois Lane:

I am sorry about your sister. You are right that we have our life to live now, free from the micromanagement of a sick religion. I also relate to what you said that if you had been born in a third-world country it is likely you might have been dead years ago.

We have much to be grateful for!

ruderedhead

LOVE the poem, Simon. Thank you for sharing it, I think it is something most of us ex-witnesses need to hear from time to time.. Prono, hope you are feeling less melancholy today. When it comes to thoughts about your old girlfriend, remember, things always seem greener on the other side. She may actually be a real biotch to live with, you just never know. Try to find your passion in the life you have now, so you have no future regrets.

LoisLane, I hope you are doing better after the blow you got from your sisters death.

adamah

Prono, try to avoid simply trading one fantasy for another fantasy, i.e. it's easy to grasp the fantasy at imagining how care-free life with that old GF would be now, if not for the JWs, after facing up to the fact that the New System fantasy never will be. (That's not just a JW thing: the old "what if" ex-GF fantasy is common with non-JWs.)

Instead, the goal is put ALL fantasy-thinking behind you, and to try and live the life that you HAVE, soberly seeing it for what it is. Reality is not for the chicken-hearted, and hence why so few choose to do it!

If you decide that your wife is not able to grow with you, and the differences are irreconciliable, then you owe her and yourself the obligation of confronting it head-on, rather than ignoring the issue and hoping it will just resolve on its own (like the JW's New System cure-all). It's up to you to figure out whether you can, in the immortal words of Crosby, Stills, and Nash, "Love the One You're With".

Adam

Cheers! Here's to lost opportunities and forgotten memories.

Train Of Life

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