As much as it will hurt you to hear this, you need to look at her objectively and face the fact that as a person, unfortunately your daughter is a total cold bearch. Move on and let her be.
I can't take this crap anymore. It's time to get pro-active!
by BONEZZ 60 Replies latest jw experiences
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cog_survivor
Hi I'm a little late to the conversation. But I wanted to pitch a thought or to in. I echo what Jam said
Have you considered that the JW shunning your daughter is engaging in may be a convenient way of manifesting her anger over the divorce?
From the way you describe it, thing were not amicable between you and your wife. Your daughter stayed with her mom and has probably been hearing a lot from her side about your married life and divorce plus all the trash talking about apostates from the JWs.
You think of her as a 32 year old woman, but the part of her that relates to you is about her age when your relationship was broken. The way a child or even young adult relates to loss is different than an older or more mature person. Likely to her mind you broke her hopes and expectations and she is using the only tool she knows to get things back to where they were. Don't expect her to be rational about this. Human beings aren't always even without the Watchtower.
I think you should continue to try to reach her, but very carefully consider how you do it and the tone. It may raise the walls higher.
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jemba
If you send a video to the co-workers maybe it could be asking them for help in getting through to your Daughter who is stuck in this crazy mind control cult. All the best.
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jgnat
Good on your grandma! I can't imagine anyone more convincing than a grandma speaking from her heart.
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KiddingMe
Maybe in the video, G'ma can reference JW.org, and how glad she was to see under FAQ "Do You Shun Former Members of Your Religion?" that the JWs don't shun family members and that as long as there is no religious ties the normal family affections and dealings continue.
"What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah’s Witnesses? The religious ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings continue."
Maybe this will spark something in your daughter...maybe it will cause her to at least notice how deceiving the WT is to public about their shunning policy. The site doesn't mention as they have in the recent conventions that this only applies to persons living within the same household.
So G'ma being away from the JW for so long could be very delighted in the answers on JW.org...that may open a door for your daughter to at least clarify her current behavior to grandma.
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gingerbread
Divorce is one of the most difficult and painful things to go through during life. It's a death in the family without a person being buried. The real victims are always the children. And the process injures parents and grandparents. Perhaps your daughter is acting out. Is she mimicking behavior - of the religion or her parents? Divorce is the result of relationships without honesty, communication and often times passive / aggressive behavior.
If you want to continue the pain, trash your daughter in public (on YouTube...really??). My comments are meant to encourage honest communication between you and your daughter. Perhaps you're still hurting because of the failed marriage. Do you think your daughter is on your ex-wife's 'side'? Do you still want to 'fight' with your ex? Is it really your ex that you want to trash in public?
ginger
By the way, I was raised as a full blown JW, married out of obligation (because of the rules) and spent over a decade of my life miserable. Children came from this 'mirage'. I learned to act like an adult after the divorce. I took responsibility for myself and my relationship with my kids. It was much better for my children and myself when I learned to 'move on' from a failed marriage.
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notjustyet
Have grandma hold pictures of the gchildren and say that this is as close as I'm allowed to be with them.
NJY
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Frazzled UBM
Bonezz _ I sympathize - having your only daughter treat you like that is dreadful - it is every parent's nightmare. Taking into account that it has been going on for 9 years and there seems little prospect of her breaking free, I can see why you are minded to do this. You obviously realize that she will most probably (99% probablitity maybe) see this as an outrage and typical of a Satan-inspired Apostate and grist for the mill at her KH and with her mother but there is an outside chance that it may have an impact on her (who says the WBTS and the Witnesses should have a monopoly on emotional blackmail) and if you don't identify her or your mother by name you reduce the public humiliation aspect. But most importantly is the beneift from exposing the WBTS lie that they do not break up families. Hopefull it will get lots of views on YouTube. Good luck Frazz
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RayPublisher
Bonezz I can't wait to see the video- YouTube is an awesome way for a lot of us to get a handle on how we feel and help the rest of the ex-JW and fading JW community.
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Vidiot
Remember that Australian WT rep who said that "shunning is a myth"?
I'd have loved to see someone walk up to that guy (on camera), declare himself politely and kindly as a dissassociated XJW, and try to engage in a polite and friendly conversation with him, just to watch his reaction.
Rick Simons once mentioned that the WT lawyers - when meeting with Candace Conti and himself - treated Candace with very little respect. In my experience, nasty people can never hide their nastiness for very long.
Put any kind of loyalist in a position where he has to interact with a defector, and his barely-contained hostility and resentment will practically ooze out of his pores; he simply cannot help it.