How do I get them to stop houding me? (page 2)

RubaDub

Try putting a sign on your front door ... "Religion is a Snare and a Racket" according to JF Rutherford.

It may cut down on some of the harrassment.

Rub a Dub

laverite

No magical answers, but I like the following approach:

Delete the texts, assign the emails as spam, screen your calls. When they pop by, say that you thank them for their concern but you have to go. Then shut the door. Within a few months, it should ease up.

wisdomfrombelow

I don't know the people who are trying to keep in touch with you but perhaps some of them are genuinely concerned about you as a person and not just as a publisher. As a witness they don't have the usually times and methods to keep in touch with old friends -- holidays and birthdays -- so don't assume the worst and if you ignore them they will usually leave you alone.

gingerbread

You can't stop them.

But you can control how you react.

You can show up at a Sunday meeting about once a month for a while - and deal with the 'encouraging' comments and questions. That will keep you on the 'o.k.' list for a while. Turn in a time slip with an hour or two. Skip the next month.

Don't answer the door or phone. Don't return messages. Don't argue or try to prove a point. Don't make excuses.

NEVER indicate that you are having doubts about the 'truth' or 'new light'. It will just open up a can of worms.

Fade slow and smart.

AnnOMaly

If you visit the Hall or see anyone from the Hall just smile, be pleasant and polite. Show them that you're happy.

They can't argue with NO. They can't communicate with you - if you ignore them.

This method is working for us!

ginger

Dis-Member

This worked for me. Changed my number. Told them that I am not happy in that congregation and am seeking another. It worked.

Although I am smack bang in the middle of their territory and only a stone throw from that hall and walk past it daily, I have not had a single visit from anyone in well over half a year what so ever which although somewhat upsetting at first it suits me just fine now.

It upset me when I used to believe they were sincere and good and genuine people.. now I know oh so much better, they are the very last people I think I ever want to see.

krejames

Ann O'Maly you hit the nail on the head. Absolutely they mean well (from their point of view) and the only way to deal with it is to stay in control. It will take time (I last went to a meeting back in May and I still get calls from blocked numbers and my doorbell rang on Sunday around the time after the meeting). It takes time. It's early days - it's part of the deal if we don't want to DA or DF.

steve2

In the early stages of stopping meeting attendance, the very best coping strategy is Do not make it worse. Stall, stall, stall - and in the meantimedo your homework. It is common in the early stages to experience mixed feelings about your fade - and Witnesses are so well-practised at presing the right buttons to activate your fear, obligation and guilt (FOG). It is literally one day at a time. I know of no other way through this.

To put a positive spin on their hounding you, at least it shows they have some semblance of "concern" and are trying to do what they think is the right thing. We often hear about posters who stop meeting attendance - which is met with a deafening silence from their local congregation. You can always, but always, thank them for their concern.

Crazyguy

Tell them your doing critical research of your religion just like that book of there's said to do and when your done you'll contact them with a hole bunch of question like why do we say the greatcrowd is going to be on earth when revelations chapter 7 says there in heaven and why is Jesus not the mediator of all humanity just the 144k even though the bible says other wise. They will probably leave you alone after this since they won't want to answer your questions. Elders don't have bible knowledge.

Scully

Change your phone number.

Move.

Filter their email to your junk mail folder.

Show up to a Meeting™, but without having showered or combing your hair for a couple of days, wearing some ugly, ill-fitting clothing from the second hand store. Have a wide eyed stare, drool a little, and twitch occasionally. Take a small Tupperware container of water and make sure the seat is wet when you leave half way through the Public Talk™.

That should fix it.

flipper

You really don't even have to reply at all. Eventually they'll stop hounding you. If you aren't looking at keeping a relationship with any of these JW's- you owe them NOTHING, notta, no explanation whatsoever. Just don't return the calls or texts.

Now if you DO plan to stay in touch with some, just say you are depressed and working out things yourself and tell them to respect and give you your space and privacy in order to sort things out. Tell them you appreciate their concern. And that YOU will let them know when you want contact.

I had an elder keep contacting me, trying to call me for about a month after I stopped attending. He kept telling me, " Flipper we need to meet , Flipper we need to meet with you. " Several times I answered and said, " We've already talked. I have nothing more to add or say, good day. " Then he'd try to keep talking and I'd hang up on him. If you want them to TOTALLY stop bugging you- you need to be firm and not worry about what they think. They'll stop, believe me

How do I get them to stop houding me?

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