How do I get them to stop houding me? (page 3)

flipper

I wanted to add this - that Jehovah's Witnesses do NOT understand the recognition of your personal boundaries or privacy. If you give them an inch- they'll take a mile. So THAT is the reason you need to be firm. Not because you're being a prick- it's because JW's won't get the message any other way many times unless you are firm. Just a thought

AnnOMaly

It's true about many JWs not recognizing personal boundaries (what Flipper said).

Somebody a while back rapped determinedly on our door (I assumed it was a delivery man - it was that kind of knock). Hubby was out; I was in the shower; the kids answered the door. Somehow, even though he asked where we, the parents, were and he was told by the kids (who vaguely knew him), he decided to enter our home and wait rather than just leave a message that he dropped by and would catch us again. He had a mission and he was going to fulfill it! Hubby returned home and, once I had finished showering and dressing (I didn't rush), we dealt with him, but his bad manners were pretty annoying. He said his piece, satisfied his conscience, and I doubt we'll see him again for a long time - if ever.

Someone else, who has known my family for many decades, popped up on my doorstep one day after her morning FS. I was right in the middle of cooking lunch for the kids so I got one of them to answer the door. Next, she was in my kitchen, itching to get me to herself so we could talk, even though she could see how inconvenient it was. I offered her nothing other than distracted chatter and smiles while I carried on with what I was doing - not even a coffee. She and her FS partner didn't stay long ('We must get together sometime,' etc.), although, amusingly, they tried (and failed) to place the latest magazines with me before they left! Auto-pilot, I guess. The great thing was, I felt no guilt, no anxiety, and I hadn't been manipulated into following her agenda!

tiki

I really think the best thing to do is to ignore. If you have numbers you can block on your phone, email ,etc......do it. or simply just not be there. constant hounding is totally aggravating and the extent of it depends on the type of people you are dealing with. I think Flipper nails it in his responses. There are those who simply have no concept of boundaries. They get the idea that since you were a part of the group at one time they have some sort of hold on you and it just isn't true. I know of one individual who actually - heard it with my own ears - said to my husband that he was HURT and OFFENDED because he (hubby) no longer went to meetings and commented. seems he really enjoyed my husband's comments (which made me cringe at times because he never really fully bought into it) but, hang in there......do what you like and feel right about and ignore them.....

good luck!

steve2

If you have no close family, relatives or friends in your congregation, the chances of ignoring the witnesses' attempts to contact you are more straightforward.

joe134cd

We'll I can clearly see that I am the odd one out here. Since I went cold turkey I haven't heard nothing from anyone in the congregation. No elders visits, no nothing. Sorry I do digress it may be a bit of a lie. I did have a pioneer phone me up for a 5 minute talk on how I was. I said I was fine and I'm guessing her motive may been from the perspective of been able to report time rather than out of concern.

In some ways I am relieved that it has gone this way, as it has made my exit a lot smoother. But on the other hand I am quite hurt to think of all those decades of my life that I invested into that religion (and up until recently I faithfully reported F/S), and not even one person could drop by and say "how's things". I guess it goes to show how much a part I was of a loving organisation. Huff.

greenhornet

Well that was me 20 years ago. All i did was change my phone number, never answered the door. In fact un pluged the door bell. My Kids and close freinds had a key to the door to let them selves in. It took about a year but they got the message. I just went cold tukey. Now I live in a diferent city with a new wife. When they call, Im just another house holder that says "Im not interestand"

How do I get them to stop houding me?