Manda,
I have been concentrating on planting mental seeds, like others here have suggested. ( btw thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone) One particularly good one was " What if I were wanting to join a cult, what would you do?" I asked would he leave me alone to do whatever I wanted, would he even care? His reply was to do research and try to show me what I was getting into, he even said " I'd do what you are doing". I was floored and speechless. I didn't know if he was just saying what I wanted to hear without meaning a word, or if he was being for real at the time. After I gathered composure and continued in the same line of reasoning like, " but what if I refused to look at anything you produced calling them all obvious lies?" etc, and his discomfort, I think he actually did understand and meant what he said, or at least saw the striking similarity. That was close to a year ago. He is still "on hold" not attending any studies or meetings and missed the recent convention. He grew a beard. I believe maybe my seeds are taking root. But I am still not sure.
I get it manda. It is a daily challange. Over a year ago when in couples therapy agreed to keep the WT material out of the bedroom and not read it in bed as he had been doing. I explained it was a massive trigger and we were arguing all the time. I did say I would not object him reading the NWT anytime. But only the Bible and no WT materials. I agreed to do the same, but also I could read my Bible anytime. He agreed, though broke that promise a few times at firsn ( claiming I had no right). Several explosions later he has finally stopped ( Yes, I have extreme difficulty not confonting the issue, especially when he has in effect lied to me.)
I feel for you. It is very difficult. This forum has been invaluable to me. Also the yuku.com exjw forum was the first place I ever posted. Though not as active as this board, it is extremely welcoming and helpful.
I don't want to "converT" him to anything. I just want him to wake up and recognise he is in a cult and stop wanting to get baptised, jepordizing the family ties with his active JW mother and inactive father. I know my husband does not fully agree with some of the "rules" and WILL eventually be taked to by elders and placed in a very hard situation if he becomes baptised. One that I know is a problem is our young child goes to a Catholic School and he knows I have no intention to take her out of there. ( Neither did he) Public school here is bad, and other private schools we could not afford. Imagine the field day any power loving elder would have with that one. He attends special functions there when our child is in the function and wants him to be there.
His relationship with his parents is very close. If he gets baptized ...well it's like watching a train wreck, helplessly.