Hubby's going to the big meeting instead of celebrating our anniversary

by KariOtt 46 Replies latest jw friends

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  Honesty

  Kari, if he comes through on going to Gatlinburg and you want to see something unusual then take the Gatlinburg Parkway between Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge one afternoon and turn left beside the Gatlinburg Welcome Center onto Banner Drive. Bear left onto Wiley Oakley Drive and follow it up the mountain.

  A female bear sow with 5 cubs (an unusually high number of cubs in one litter) has been foraging for food in the vicinity of 1009 Wiley Oakley Drive for the last month. If you see them, stay in the car and don't get too close.

  I have pictures of her with 4 of the 5 cubs taken from the back porch. The 5th cub was camera shy and ran away when he saw my niece taking pictures of his momma and siblings

  Also, all of the roads through the National Park with the exception of U.S. 441 between Gatlinburg and Cherokee, N.C. are closed but U.S. 441 has some pulloffs with great vistas, especially around Newfound Gap. I heard that the road to Clingman's Dome just south of Newfound Gap is still open but I haven't personally verified that to be factual.

  The elk are in rut up until the end of the month or the first week or two of November and if you go to Cherokee there are a couple of open fields near the Ocanaluftee Visitor Center on U.S. 441 where you can see them early in the morning and also between 3 and 7 P.M. I haven't been down there yet this year because I plan to combine 2 trips into 1 and go into the Cataloochee Valley at the same time to photograph them there but the valley is in the National Park and the road is closed. The valley has the largest herd but there is a modest sized herd near near the Ocanaluftee Visitor Center.

  If you go and hear the sound of a trumpet don't worry it ain't Jesus, it's a mature bull elk warning all the young bulls to back off.
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  ruderedhead

  You were way harsh, losing it! You didn't know the background (i.e., he changed the rules 6 yrs into the marriage), and yet ripped her a new one. I think your reasoning is off as well. He hurt her feelings, she had a knee jerk reaction, vented. When they worked out the situation, she posted how happy she was, basically letting everyone know he did the right thing, and you still criticize.

  Perhaps your own troubles are clouding your outlook? I hope the craziness ends in your life soon. In the meantime, have a glass of wine, take a deep breath and relax.

  Kariott, enjoy your weekend! Glad you used your head with your hubby. If it makes you feel any better, my husband has not celebrated but one or two anniversaries in 33 years,and it was because there was something he wanted to do, and even ruined the surprise party our kids tried to throw for our 30th. Sometimes it hurts, but I look at the bigger picture. He's a good provider, we have 4 amazing kids, he helps out my sister & Mom financially when they need it, he's still very active in the bedroom. I have a great life. Sometimes we just have to take a step back after the initial hurt. hope the weekend is everything you want it to be.
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  losingit

  I'm actually pretty relaxed, had a nice Stella and a deliciously hot Reuben sandwich for dinner. In my pjs and enjoying the night.

  Look, my point of view is my point of view. Like I said earlier, I understand being hurt. Oh I get it. My troubles are not clouding my outlook, they are CLARIFYING it. If she's claiming that she likes to be the submissive wife, then patience is called for. Patience and long suffering. Im coming from a very similar situation as hers. She also said that she had known him for years before they met and that she knew who she was marrying with all of his cheating history. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for a woman who wants to be submissiveand knew the deal about jws, even if he chabged the rules 6years in. Call me a jerk. Call me whatever. She cant be crying ASSHOLE when she wants to be submissive. Doesn't work that way. Nope.

  And while I was writing, i was sipping on my hot tea.
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  losingit

  And she can't be crying ASSHOLE when *he's trying*. It'd be different if he didn't make the plans. That would've been him being the ultimate jerk. But guess what? He made the plans! calling your spouse an ASSHOLE before they have a chance to fix the situation is just MESSED UP. She called foul before the foul was committed. Whatever, not feeling her position at all.
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  KariOtt

  Until 2 days ago we had plans to celebrate. I got angry when he changed the plans. So I do have a right to be PISSED OFF. Losinit I'm sorry your marrage is ending. Deal with it.
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  losingit

  KarriOtt -- stop being a cry baby and deal with yours. Respect your husband . Give him a chance to prove himself before you dog him out to everyone here. Grow up and be a partner.
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  nonjwspouse

  Losing it, and Kari, I get you both. A UBM being married to a JW ( or progressing towards baptism) is crazymaking.

  There really is no way to accuratly describe the awful "limbo" we exist in, never knowing when the WT will rip something in our husbands away from us. Never knowing if our husbands will chose the WT over us if there is a choice to be made.

  When marrying an inactive or dfed or das, or unbaptised one that claimed not to be interesed in ever going back, then does, we were decieved. It is a massive game changer that we have to live with if we remain married and figure out how to deal with. Especially to anyone who was ignorant of the WT and only learned enough when getting married to think the WT "religion" was just "odd" but not dangerous.

  Th WT becomes a third person in your marriage. One that controls emotions, actions, and time from the mate. One that changes with the wind sometimes.

  The only way to survive the marriage is to do as losingit says. The only person you control is you. You can either do what makes you a better and happy person, or you can compain and make your life miserable. The one thing you can not do is compromise youtself. You must demand respect, respect for your boundries and you as a person. If that is gone then the marrriage is gone.

  I wish I knew the answers, really I do. Each person has a different answer to fit themselves, thier own life. Mine is still "in process" ....so crazymaking.