Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery. (page 5)

fresh prince of ohio

Greetings Bruja-del-sol from not-so-sunny Ohio USA! :) Glad to know you're living you're dream. I have anxiety and depression issues that greatly reduce my ability to enjoy life, unfortunately.

I've been out of the JWs for 11+ years now, but as I stated in my opening comments, I'm still a JW in the way I view death and mortality, and until recently I wasn't fully aware of this. It was reading about the fear of intimacy, and learning about its close relationship to fear of death, that made me realize that I still have a lot of work to do in terms of getting JWism out of my system.

gingerbread

As a JW, we all were 'praying for the end of time' to come a.s.a.p to relieve ourselves of the difficulties and troubles of life. This real motivation is thinly veiled behind a curtain of 'works' to bring mankind our message of salvation.

If we really believed this message, we would be spending every waking minute going from 'door-to-door'. When I realized this, I began to question the validity of this religion.

Before birth you know nothing. After death you know nothing. Period.

To loosely quote Joseph Campbell - There is no meaning to life. Life has meaning when you engage with it.

ginger

Rip

It's a pitty, cherished life to vaporise but no choice. Although we can pritend to know anything about it but we don't. Eternal life is a gift and a gift to who ever excercises faith and that gift can't be disputed or predicted because it depends not on works but on grace.

Bruja-del-Sol

Hi fresh prince of ohio, I can relate to that, even though I don't have such issues with death and mortality.

I've had JW-parents who 'programmed' me by always telling me that NOBODY can be trusted, to be more specific I myself as their daughter wasn't trustworthy! And as a child growing up of course I always proved them right by my actions (telling little white lies every now and then, only because I was scared to death for my dad who used to beat us kids up for any wrong doing... and I'm a very bad liar, my body language and face will blow my cover big time, always!)... It's part of the JW'ism that is still in MY system.

Problem is that still to this day I always feel the need to prove anything and everything I say, do, think, write etc. Sometimes I drive my husband crazy with it. I have a hard time making (and especially keeping!) friends, for I always feel that I'm not good enough to be their friend. Or they're not good enough for me, which also happens a lot. 'Judgemental' is my middle name... wonder where I got that from :S

Sometimes I really wish I would have had normal parents, brought up in a normal family where they love each other unconditionally... I know my family think I'm 'mentally ill' because I left the cult, but it's THEM who are the ones being mentally retarded!

I've had therapy for all of this and came a long way, but I'm still not completely recovered from my 33 years of mental prison! That's why I keep reading on forums like this. It softens the pain to know I'm not alone going through all of this.

And yes, we live our dream by living in Spain, but the dream also involved having a lot of money... and that part hasn't come true yet (not by a long shot!) ;)

Whenever I feel down or scared by financial troubles (or any other troubles), I always listen to an old song by Southern rock band 'The Outlaws': "Keep prayin'"... always makes me feel a whole lot better and strenghtens my believe that everything WILL be alright, one way or another!

Chin up fresh prince, it will get better when you keep looking at the bright side of life: you're out of the cult! That's a great achievement already!

fresh prince of ohio

Well so much for all of that. The news stories about fukushima and the US debt have me right back into death-terror JW mind.

HBH

Bro, you need to have things in perspective. You local nuclear power plant presents a far greater danger, get some iodine pills and set up a plan for peace of mind. Economicly, Japan is far worse off the the US. Their debit is 24 times revenue, the US is 4.5 times debit to revenue. Japan is toast in a few years, it may take the US quite some time.

If I were you, I'd take a trip to the islands somewhere warm, and do some chillaxing, even if you are a strong thinker.

HBH

fresh prince of ohio

It is no fun being me.

fresh prince of ohio

HBH, I would ask you, what does Japan being "toast" mean, exactly?

Will the japanese people starve to death?

HBH

Fresh Prince, hope your doing well.

Sorry about my taste in idioms. I'm not an expert, you can do some googling on how economys collapse, but to answer, I'd say not really. Also, Japanese culture is different than the US.

In short, what will happen is the banks close, bonds collapse, much wealth is lost, followed by hyperinflation, rendering the currency useless. This has happend in many smaller countries in the last 20 years, and it didn't result in famine, but it is bad.(Argintina) Remember though, the statis quo will be maintained at all costs. People have been betting on Japan collapsing for over 20 years, yet it goes on.

Knowing these things don't bother me, journeys come to an end, and new journeys begin. "Disturbance and rest", it is natural. I wish you well in your soul searching. It's wise to be prepared, but don't get hung up on doom, think positive and hang tough.

I live in the Southeast US, pm me if you like.

HBH

fresh prince of ohio

I've read about Argentina.

I can only imagine all too vividly what a similar financial collapse would mean for the USA.

It's time to get out of this world, seriously. Who in their right freaking mind wants to live to see what's coming????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

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