The grass is not always greener

by hollowheart 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • hollowheart
    hollowheart

    Hello to all,

    I have posted only a couple of times and remain a little elusive. It is not because i dont want to mingle but more when i want to post on a little of my story, the words i want to write seem to mass with events and moments that are so overwhelming i cannot function anymore. I get so writing my post before my heart seems to shudder, I get a pain in my core that removes any words i want to write, and at this point i log off.......

    I am 31 and it seems like yesterday i was among my "best friends" in the congregation, Tim, steve, and mark. I was 15 and can still smell steves aftershave as he walked in the hall. Within 6 months i was on my own as they had all left the truth leaving me alone and banned from contact with them.

    A few months later, december 20th 1998 i stood up in a hall of 1500 people puzzled as to why nobody else had stood......I was unique?

    The speaker asked me to raise my voice answering the baptism questions so all 1500 could hear my answers, shaking with the deafening silence i walked to the front door and began to get changed.

    The water was warm and the time submersed seemed to last for minutes, when i broke the surface the roar of applause was almost too much.

    Hugs, kisses and well done's for the next 4 hours that is apart from my father who merely said the amount of applause was due to the brothers and sisters knowing it was an early dinner as i was the only one baptised.

    School was an odd mixture of bullying and being lonely. The only highlight was one particular teacher, the one where the boys were rendered speachless when she walked in the class room.....including myself, i was 15 and utterley mesmorised by this womans beauty, i remember her eyes were more powerful than any enchanting story i had ever read or any sundown i had witnessed.. her name was nicki

    I had come back from the meeting one sunday and took off fishing, i had been left school around four months by this time. I was fishing without concern with catching as i just loved bing outside, it was not long after the air changed and everything became still. I had though i had hooked weed as the real jammed with a bump, Then after a few minutes of heaving the rod this way and that, it was at the moment i was going to go for break that the line took on its own life......

    It was my biggest fish to date, and i could not wait to get down the path to tell my parents. It was a meal tonight with a few brothers and sisters and one of my sisters who had briefly come back into my life, little did i realise it was going to be the last ever meal with my parents and any brothers or sisters.

    We had finished the meal when there was a knock at the door which my mother promptly answered, She came back in telling me in a rather surprised but gentle voice that it was for me.. I had no callers anymore as i had lost my friends so i was a little confused, when i opened the door my skin tingled, the hair on my neck became charged ....."hi, i hope you dont mind but i was just passing and thought id call in to see how life outside school was?" It was nicki, the school teacher.

    My mother gave her tea and i chatted with her still confused but now alone in the living room, after a while i walked her up the path to her car where she gave me a hug and asked me before she left to jump in her car and listen to a peice of music she loved.

    As i listened she leaned over to me and in words i cant explain placed her lips on my mine in the most passionate but tender way imaginable.

    "meet me at the garden center tomorow at 1pm" and with that drove away. I walked back down the path, my legs were drunk. I was nervous my parents would have seen even though the car had been concealed by the large hedge at the top of our path. As i opened the door the house was alive with "good association" and i cast a glance to my mum who smiled and said "ok?" somehow i kept it together and answered "yeah fine"

    As i lay on my bed my head spun with the words "its normally in the first 12 months after baptism you are tempted with a large test of faith" And it had to be a test as this teacher had hardly had any interaction with me at school, i was the innocent one of the class, who did not swear and was polite.

    I longed for my old friends of the congregation and i replayed the events of the evening over and over and over, before i knew it i had lain awake all night and 1pm was coming quickly yet slowly enough for me to want to grab the hands of time turning them forward.

    It was the start of journey to where the grass was going to be greener..............

    Tbc

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I can't see any of this working out.

  • zeb
    zeb

    so what was a teacher doing hitting on a teenage boy?

  • insearchoftruth4
    insearchoftruth4

    Did you wake up yet or are still dreaming? What a dream...mmm

    I was in 'love' with my 4th grade teacher, she was beau-ti-ful and I'm an incurable romantic..

    insot4

  • flipper
    flipper

    So you actually experienced this ? Wow. You have a great writing style- I was half expecting this to be a novel and leading up to a very interesting story. I'm sorry that you experienced this as I'm sure it caused a lot of angst as a teenager trying to keep it from your parents. How is the situation going now ? Are you and the teacher an item ? Or did she stop trying to seduce you ? Kind of sounds like a mrs. Robinson scenario. I can see how this has caused you lots of stress if you are trying to stay in the JW organization. Hang in there, you are among friends who have been through similar tests. Although I can't say any of my high school teachers tried to plant a wet one on me , I'm sure it was a different experience for sure. Take care we are here for you

  • hollowheart
    hollowheart

    Hi again all,

    Short breaks inbetween, they could be a few hours or a day or two i dont know...there is a moral to this, and i guess i talk for many where an event has caught them unaware......i would like any youthful ones never to go through what i have the last 12 years. I thought doing what i am would either get me removed from the forum but it is worth it if only one young one learns from this who is involved with jehovahs witnesses.

    Where i am if you climb one of the mountains without planning it will likely give you a life long injury.

    I arrived on the carpark to the center, i was in turmoil. Just could not put a handle on what i was doing, against jehovah and the devious meeting of this woman which would devastate my parents, I just could not stop what i was doing, i was mesmorised by this woman and as bad as it was me not long one of her pupils it did not matter. for the record she was 28 years old. As many know, attention of the opposite sex is deeply frowned upon unless marriage is the intent, leading to many young ones in thier late teens deeply confused withing Jw society.

    Her car pulled up on the car park, walking over i hugged her but slightly reserved. I got in the car and she started the journey to her home.

    Nervously on arrival i entered the tall apartment building, there was a faint pleasant smell, and the smell inside the building will never leave me. Climbing the stairs we entered her apartment.........................

    I did not want want that moment ever to end, she lay with her head on my chest....I cannot describe what went on, it is not appropriate, i think my heart would bleed itself dry if i were to try.

    She dropped me home in the evening, not late but late enough for my mother to check my alibi to know i had lied, i covered it with yet another lie and went to my room. It was done, i had to get away from my parents house.

    The next evening after an uncomfortable day with my mum it was time to go to the meeting, "i dont want to go" i said "you are going whether you like it or not" my mother replied....I knew not to argue and got ready, i spent the whole meeting my head bowed and still on a high from nicki.

    When we arrived home i had all i could take, i put on two pairs of trousers, three shirts and two jumpers. that will keep me going i thought.

    I went out for a walk and called nicki from a pay phone, she came and picked me up... I could not explain to her about the "truth" as i called it then as it just did not matter, all that mattered was my time with her.

    Three days had passed, and staying with nicki was like three days on morphine.....I was petrified of my parents, jehovah and the organisation yet i had not one thought of them whilst with nicki. Then the inevitable happened, she advised i go home. I could not begin to find the words to describe how i felt on that journey home. I arrived home to be greeted by my mum, no hostility just mum. It is perhaps my saddest memory of how i must have worried them and hurt them yet she was refraining from going too hard on me. I said i had stayed with a worldy friend and that was all, before i knew it two elders were knocking the door.....i told lie after lie so as not to get into trouble or be disfellowshipped, and at face value took there sheparding.

    I then contacted tim in the next few days who was disfellowshipped, and made my break to go and live with him. I had left no trace of where i was and enjoyed peace and quiet seeing nicki often and being free. Then one evening she called saying it was over, no explanation..........nothing

    I was surplus to requirements, it was almost like mission accomplished by satan? 4 weeks ago a happy brother and now a fornicator and living with a disfellowshipped brother..

    It turns out nicki was married all the time she declared her undying love for me. I lived a sketchy life for a few weeks with tim before being dropped back home again.....this time i had a thirst for the warm loving embrace of a woman....

    Two weeks after being home with my parents and meeting attendance that was unbearable i went to visit a studying person, when i arrived at his home he had a bible tape playing. How i ended up in a night club that evening with him i do not know, but the inevitable happened and we both went back with two females. In the morning i knew i had gone too far, and i knew i never wanted to stop being held in an embrace. All my pain of being alone stopped, i could not bear being lonely any longer as a jehovahs witness and at my parents home.

    I called my mum who this time went to town on me, i hung up. Lisa the girl i had stayed with said i could stay with her...she was around 8 years older than me, had two young children. She had browning teeth and a poor physique and smoked very heavily...it didnt matter though as i was not alone so i lied about my age and pursued a romance with her..........8 months later our wedding was two weeks away, she by this time knew my real age and had excepted it.

    I was in turmoil though as i knew i could not bear marriage to her and was doing it for fear of being alone as the disfellowshipping was now imminent if i returned home and that was something that petrified me.

    One evening i got out of bed, lisa was sleeping as tears rolled down my cheeks. I had to tell her, so i wrote a letter to her from down stairs saying i wanted to cancel the wedding. I had nowhere to go, and to this day do not know what response i wanted from her upon reading it.

    2am I awoke her and gave her the letter, i waited at the end of the bed as she read it.

    30 minutes later i walked onto the street with two bin bags full of my clothes, i had nowhere to go. nobody. I was young, scared and confused.

    After walking the streets I made the call around 3:30am to my parents house 20 miles away in floods of tears.

    This is where my journey really begins, and what i used to call a nightmare i would gladly have as a dream this day as a result.

    TBC

  • flipper
    flipper

    Wow. What a story. You've certainly had some tough times and challenges in your life. Thanks for sharing your story - you have our support. So how are you doing currently ? Peace out, mr. Flipper

  • Sammy Jenkis
    Sammy Jenkis

    Thanks for sharing man, this has been really interesting- I could definitely see how a situation like this would cause some serious turmoil for a young guy still living at home.

    Are you now a witness again, is that why you're sharing this?

  • tootired2care
    tootired2care

    Great story, we want more!

  • hollowheart
    hollowheart

    Hello mr. flipper,

    I really appreciate asking how i am, I am coming to the end of the journey. It seems i cannot be alone, but now am only happy when i am alone.

    I dont mean to talk in a riddle, i would say every other day i wish to take my own life but i am not depressed, heart broken over the last ten years.

    What you have read so far is nothing compared to what is coming later on in my posts, providing i am not annoying anyone. i must stress i do not want attention, just to give any young ones insight and hope they take small steps on reaching greener grass away from jehovahs witnesses.

    I spent the last year living in a tent amongst gypsy's, they were kind enough to allow me on their camp with my 4 polecats, i pitched on the river bank. I had temporary relief there as i trained in bushcraft and nature is my kin. As far from people as possible, not because of them but because of how the events rebounding from jehovahs witnesses has shaped me..

    The nagging of comforting embrace soon rears its head, and recentley i embarked on a relationship. Deep down i know i will never lead a normal life. i miss my family so badly.

    I have to go, Im not on my own just now. i do send love to all. x

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