BSD,
Ok contrary to what it must sound like I do not tolk constantly through the shows haha . Manupulative, yes, and it is not in my personality naturally so I have had to struggle with trying to do this type of thing correctly. I am trying because I want to save both my husbands emotional health, and our marriage. I see a dangerous train approaching and want to get us out of the way, but he must willingly want to walk away from the track.
I began with this idea of watching shows when I ran across the Obsolete Man, knowing my husband likes the TZ and showed him all the "likes" on that episide on youtube, so we watched it. Powerful, and he really liked it. I didn't say anything while watching, but commented later on the hypocricy presented, information control, and how the tables got turned on the highy arrogant man in power.
Your topics of suggestion are similar to what I was pointing out, however I am not quite so brilliant in narrating as you are. ( I so enjoy your written word) The hypochondriac story I did comment on his inability to focus on anything or anyone but himself, the destructive nature of arrogance. My husband himself brought up the factor of him being bored as soon as he could never be hurt or die.
Through each of these stories I would get in some underlying points. He actually remembered long ago watching the story of the man alone in the world after the atomic bomb and finding the library, the man's personal "paradise", but interestingly forgot the ending, where the man broke his glasses.
I know there are more productive ways to "plant seeds". I am going about this in every single avenue I can find. I take the opportunities as they present themselves. I have no idea what he will think about them himself. That is the frustrating part for me. I just can't know how his mind will prossess these type things.
Is he a good dub? That's a good question. His mind is solidly indoctrinated even though he was never baptised, yet he stopped going to meetings or studies for more than a year now, was very sporatic before and now stopped returning any texts from his study partner for a month. He does not read any WT materail at all anymore unless it is in a secret way. ( which I doubt) So although the door to his returning to the JW is there in his mind, the only hope of his not walking through that door is for him too see the doubts. Doubts he had to have when he left for 30 years. Doubts he has locked away into a "box' he isn't opening, or doesn't want to open.
I am so out of my league when it comes to this JW control.
Thanks Stonewall. I will check those out too. I doubt he will go for relegioulous, but who knows.
Smitty thanks, Worlds Apart is not one I have seen. I have 1984 in the house, reread it again and have been mentioning how I had forgotten good it is to my husband. Interestingly, he used to read books a LOT, years ago. All fiction. But now he will only read something at the table while eating, or a handyman magazine article. It might be his lack of time, but I'm not really sure of the reason.
My request last night for both of us together to create written priorities, and goals, weekly, monthly and then yearly, and to tackle them a day/week at a time was very much welcomed by him. I stressed that we might not make a goal at a pre determined time but not to ever feel faliure about it, we would just keep working toward the selected goal. Life happens. We don't have control over some things so thats ok. I fully believe this inability of his to prioritize and plan his day is a huge part of his stress. He feels like a failure many times. It was also a big step that he allowed me to "help" him by suggesting, and him accepting the suggestion. Hopefully this will be building his confidence, allow him to create time for what he feels he is missing with his child, his hobby, even to read books again, and improving his ability to see and plan what he wants for his own future.
Thanks Glenster, I'll check those out as well.
I appreciate so much all the helpful suggestions and things to think about. This idea is but one of many to various ways to hopfully plant seeds. Kind of like scattering a handfull hoping a few take root.
I won't overdo the movie / tv thing. I just want ideas for when the opportunity presents itself.
