My spouse's friend (a neighbor) probably has NPD. She ossilates into having NPD and being normal. The more alcohol, the more NPD comes out. They are self-absorbed people who want "the best" to clothe their body. Designer everything, and only designer. Chain smoker and can be a heavy drinker, too. Seems nervous, until she is talking about her latest shopping trips or times she went out partying. She glorifies clubbing. Anything my spouse does or buys, is "nice, but not to her taste." So, my spouse has called her outfits, "costumes." I prefer my spouse's clothes. The best way to deal with these people is to call them out on it. Directly asked her if she needed her designer clothes to make her happy. Directly asked her if her clubbing friends' children were so 'messed up' becuase the parents were not focused 'at all' on their children.
Narcisstic Personality Disorder...
by new hope and happiness 24 Replies latest social entertainment
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new hope and happiness
Skeeter1, ....i think the drinking is a seperate issue, but the rest resounds ...and calling a person out is what i did. But if its a sickness a personality disorder that doesnt make me a better man.
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skeeter1
With drinking, she loses her inhibitions and self-control of her tongue. This woman is layered like an onion. At the core, I think her real self is very honest and super hard working woman who made it through some very rough times. You see this side when she's sober or working. But, she chain smokes times three. I have met smokers, but this one will smoke 6 or 7 cigarettes in an hour...along with 4 beers! Her body, skin, teeth, gums, everything is telling the tale of that horrible addiction. NPDs have addiction issues. Unfortunately, she trained her children well. Her oldest daughter is addicted to status symbols and made her husband buy her a several thousand dollar purse. The young couple is comfortable, but not super wealthy. I didn't even know they made such expensive purses. A Coach for $300 is expensive to me, but several thousand? Her other daughter wants an old, farty car, a Bently. How many kids want a Bently? When she gets too drunk, I have to escort her back home. Keep it short, and there are no hard feelings. But, stay in a room with her while she's getting on her NPD high, and she's toxic. She'll have everyone else in tears. Classic "Housewives of Beverly Hills" type.
Oh, I remember a time when one of her children made Honor Roll. We were at the ceremony becuase one of our kids made it too, as well as a kid we sometimes take care of. Well, the school's Honor Roll applauded any child who made A's & B's. She came up to us, just smoldering underneath her skin. She was angry that the school didn't separate the gifted, advanced, and NOT have any honor roll for the regular kids or those with special needs/autism. "Those" kids shouldn't get Honor Roll!", she was trying to convince us of. I spoke my mind, and said, "Every child had to apply themselves equally given their level. And that is what is being rewarded." Then, I had to turn away. Her child getting Honor Roll was an extension of her; and she didn't want it associated with autistic kids.
Here's another doozy. She has friends with money who bought a really kick-arse car. She took her child to visit them. They went on a day road trip. The man (not too smart either) proceeded to drive his new, kick-arse car at over 100 mph on normal, back streets. She bragged & bragged about how much fun it was to drive so "super" fast (super told over & over & over again in her story) in such a "super" car. Then, she made the man take her and her child to really nice restaurants, so her child could be acquainted with the "high life." Becuase the "high life" was super important to her. This same man belongs to country clubs where one is admitted only on their family's lines. He took her to one of them. She was going on & on & on about how "super" those clubs were. So, I said a line (from a movie), "You mean the people in those clubs only get in based on their family history, even if they have money." She said, "Yes, just becuase you are rich doesn't mean you have a family history." So, I said, "Wow, those must be some golden vaginas those babies slid out of." Her mouth dropped. It was priceless. Heeee, heee.
None of us are perfect. We may find ourselves around people with NSD and then have fun with them. We are not perfect either. It's kind of like that book/movie The Ender's Game. Sometimes messing with her is just too much fun. I can't help it. If I have to listen to her bullshit, I get the honor of slipping her a put-down. So, now you all know I have a dark side too.
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skeeter1
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms
By PSYCH CENTRAL STAFF
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.
People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness” or “stupidity” or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.
In laypeople terms, someone with this disorder may be described simply as a “narcissist” or as someone with “narcissism.” Both of these terms generally refer to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- Requires excessive admiration
- Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
- Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
- Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
- Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
As with all personality disorders, the person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with it.
Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females, and is thought to occur in less than 1 percent in the general population.
Like most personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorder typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in the 40s or 50s.
Learn more about the symptoms and characteristics of someone with narcissitic personality disorder.
How is Narcissistic Personality Disorder Diagnosed?
Personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder are typically diagnosed by a trained mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Family physicians and general practitioners are generally not trained or well-equipped to make this type of psychological diagnosis. So while you can initially consult a family physician about this problem, they should refer you to a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment. There are no laboratory, blood or genetic tests that are used to diagnose personality disorder.
Many people with narcissistic personality disorder don’t seek out treatment. People with personality disorders, in general, do not often seek out treatment until the disorder starts to significantly interfere or otherwise impact a person’s life. This most often happens when a person’s coping resources are stretched too thin to deal with stress or other life events.
A diagnosis for narcissistic personality disorder is made by a mental health professional comparing your symptoms and life history with those listed here. They will make a determination whether your symptoms meet the criteria necessary for a personality disorder diagnosis.
Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Researchers today don’t know what causes narcissistic personality disorder. There are many theories, however, about the possible causes of narcissistic personality disorder. Most professionals subscribe to a biopsychosocial model of causation — that is, the causes of are likely due to biological and genetic factors, social factors (such as how a person interacts in their early development with their family and friends and other children), and psychological factors (the individual’s personality and temperament, shaped by their environment and learned coping skills to deal with stress). This suggests that no single factor is responsible — rather, it is the complex and likely intertwined nature of all three factors that are important. If a person has this personality disorder, research suggests that there is a slightly increased risk for this disorder to be “passed down” to their children.
Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Treatment of narcissistic personality disorder typically involves long-term psychotherapy with a therapist that has experience in treating this kind of personality disorder. Medications may also be prescribed to help with specific troubling and debilitating symptoms. For more information about treatment, please seenarcissistic personality disorder treatment.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Resources
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new hope and happiness
Thanks very much for that skeeter1.